Scheduling Rest

I had a great conversation with an acquaintance yesterday. She and I have very different daily lives - I have 4 children under 13, she has 1 step-daughter in college; I am home full time, she works part time - but we found that we also have a lot in common. We are both very busy women with a high regard for taking care of our families, serving others, and working hard at whatever we do.

Maybe that's why our conversation moved to the subject of taking care of ourselves and resting once in a while. I think this is a concern/issue for most women in our society. Whether your children are young or older, whether you work outside the home, work from home, or home is your main work, whether your children participate in a dozen activities, a few activities, or just keep their heads above water keeping up with school, life challenges, and special situations - no matter what our daily lives look like - it seems we all struggle with staying balanced in taking care of ourselves and our families.

In a culture that says, "If it feels good, do it" and "You deserve....{just about anything and everything you want}, but also says "You must perform, be perfect, and please everyone (including yourself), it's no wonder we get stuck, have excessively high levels of stress and depression, and don't feel like we can ever rest.

Yet, our bodies were made to rest. Studies have proven that sleep is essential for health and optimal functioning. Our brains need to catch up and recharge. Our bodies need to recharge. But what about our spirits? Don't they need to recharge?

Yes, of course they do!

Sleep is essential and beneficial (and something I'm a big fan of), but it's not the only kind of rest we need. We also need down time. Time to reflect. Time to ponder. Time to ground ourselves. Time to stop the craziness and busyness of life and smell the roses, as the old saying goes.

The conversation yesterday brought the forefront that doing this often brings guilt on women. Because we tend to focus on, stress about, and heap guilt on ourselves about what we're not getting done at that moment. We forget that by taking care of ourselves (in a balanced, healthy way), we are benefiting our families. When we rest, relax, and recharge we can serve our families better. We can do our jobs better. Our moods are better. We are modeling health and balance. It is not just for us, but it is for them, too.

However, we shouldn't expect that it will just happen. Nor should we wait until we're sick to take a day off.

When I worked as a counselor, we were encouraged to take "Mental Health" days. We didn't have to wait to be sick to take sick leave. My wise supervisors knew that it was better to schedule days off to rest, relax, and recharge, than to be slammed with unexpected, often much longer and not beneficial, illness forcing one to take sick leave.

We as moms should recognize our needs for a mental health day on a regular basis. Now, I'm not talking about every week. Maybe every month, but definitely every couple of months. No, we don't ever "get a day off" of being mom, but we can take a break and take it down a few notches.

My kids still get fed on my "days off", but not much else. And guess what: they survive. Sometimes they even crawl in bed with me to snuggle when I'm half-way through a novel and still in my pajamas in the middle of the afternoon. Life goes on. The world keeps turning. Nothing comes crashing down. And we simply continue our routines and busyness the next day.

Rest is not a luxury. It is essential for well-being and health. It's not easy as a mom to get it, but it is so worth it. So, when will you schedule your next mental health day?

Moms for Moms

It seems that everywhere you turn these days you hear about mean girls. Movies, news show segments, magazine articles, and specials abound talking about mean girls and bullying between girls...and grown women. People analyze and speculate what makes some girls mean and try to make recommendations on how those the meanness is aimed at are to best handle it. If you are exposed to enough media, you might believe there aren't hardly any nice girls out there, looking for genuine friendships and willing to love and support.

I've been a big advocate of girlfriendships for a long time and believe they're an important part of life, especially during motherhood. Mothers can feel awfully isolated in our culture. Fear of judgement from other moms or past negative experiences can keep them from reaching out when they're discouraged or doubt themselves. But it is important to find friends who walk along side you on this journey of motherhood.

I'm very fortunate to have a group of women that I love and trust and can care my soul to. Some are women I get to hang out with once in a while and others are my confidants. But each of them are "nice" girls.

Recently, I've been enfolded into a whole new group of nice girls. I'm blessed to be going to the She Speaks Conference this year, a wonderful conference put on by the great gals at Proverbs 31 Ministries for writers, speakers, and leaders. Since registering, I've been drawn in through emails, websites, blogs, and a FaceBook group. It warms my heart and lifts my spirit to see women from all over the country who've never met each other lifting each other up in prayer and encouragement. These women embody the words: "since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:11)

There are loving, supportive women out there who can be mentors, friends, and confidants. Don't settle for anything less! Eliminate (as much as possible) relationships with toxic people and cultivate those that are healthy. Then gather your girlfriends around a cup of coffee or ministry work and get bolstered up for all the work motherhood throws your way!

When God Says "No"

Do you ever wish that you could have every wish that you had? I think our tendency is to want what we want and focus on that and only that. At least, I know mine is. Even in fantasy books/stories the need to limit wishes is recognized. Even when a genie or good wishing fairy is present, the receipient of the wishes only gets three. Boy, if I only had three wishes to make in life, what would they be?

Big question. But, I don't have to come up with an answer. That's because my God is bigger than that and He loves me enough not to limit what I can ask Him for or what He's willing to give me. But, He's also wise enough not to give me everything that I wish or want.

Such is the case in relation to my recent post about the She Speaks Conference scholarship. I knew from the beginning that if I didn't get one, there would be a reason. And one of those reasons was that someone else deserved it more. I read the winning entries (okay, I browsed them), and it was true. They wholly and completely deserved to win.

I also knew that if God didn't provide the means that way, He would another way. Lysa TerKeurst even said so in her winning post entry. That to give all entrants a scholarship, no matter how much she wanted to or thought more entrants deserved it, would be to rob them of other blessings. And how true that is!

I didn't get the scholarship, but did register. I am looking forward to this conference almost as much as my own conference, Abundant Life Conference for Women November 2011. The workshops look so good, I had a hard time picking my favorite in a couple time slots.

So now, I'm registered. And the blessings have already started. My two biggest encourages have gone all in to help me attend this conference. Just the sentiment is worth me not getting the scholarship.

So, did God say "no" because I don't deserve it, someone else deserves it more, He wants to bless me in other ways, or He knows how to work everything out for the utmost good of both me and others and bring the greatest glory to Himself?

I'll take the last three. My experience tells me that whenever God tells me "no" it's for my own good and often what I get instead is better.

So, just like when we say "no" to our children to protect them or hold out for something better, when God says "no" there is always a greater purpose.

Weary Moms

Do you ever get weary? Check out Moms for God for my latest post on dealing with weariness.

Ahhh...Quiet

Yesterday I had one of the best gifts ever for a mommy - I had a day off! A true day off. 24 hours with no kids. No demands. No whining. No arguing. No interruptions during dinner, or a good book, or in the bathroom. It was marvelous.

I love my kids, but I also cherish time by myself to recharge. This may sound repetitive (as several of my posts in the last couple of weeks have been about Mommy Time), but it is still true. I tried to think back to the last time I had a day completely by myself and I came up with that it's been 23 months. That would be 9 months of pregnancy and the first 14 months of my littlest one's life. That's a long time. I've had afternoons off and a few hours here and there, but there's nothing quite like spending a whole day in your nightgown uninterrupted.

I also got to go to a Thirty-One party (the night before, after dropping the kids off), which was great gal time. So, I had a little bit of both types of mommy time.

I was very happy to see all my sweet ones when they arrived home around dinner time last night, and was recharged and ready to go again. And today, I am reaping the rewards of my time off in feeling much more capable of doing what is demanded of me day-in and day-out to raise four children under 8, take care of my house, and homeschool.

I had plans to get all sorts of writing, revising and submitting done on my day off. I did a little. However, I don't feel like I wasted my time at all. There is definitely something to taking a day of rest. There's a reason God called us to do so. As moms, we aren't able to get a day off once a week, even if we dont' do anything but parent and throw some cold cereal at them to eat. No, we need to be deliberate about making that time. I am fortunate enough to have a mom close enough and willing to keep all the kids for me once in a while. I know not everyone does. I can think of several other moms I know personally who don't. So, after my wonderful, fabulous, restful day, my main thought is, "Who can I give this gift to?" That's what I'll work on next.

More Mommy Time

For those of you who are not a fan of the early morning hours or who have children who wake up at the crack of dawn or have to be at work too early to make these hours viable, don't give up hope! There are always ways to find Mommy Time. If your children are young enough, nap time is always a good time. Even if they don't all nap, this may be the time to stick the slightly older ones in front of a video (I'm not a huge fan of tv, but it comes in handy the 1-2 hours my kids are allotted a day.) While often our inclination during this time is to start working on the never-ending chore list (as I'm doing at this moment), sometimes it's best to use this time to rest, recharge, and regroup. A 30 minute to hour rest may make you more efficient in your work the rest of the time that you have.

Another option (one I am a huge fan of) is play dates. While everyone doesn't have convenient play dates you would actually want you children hanging out with, we are fortunate in this area. There are also friends we have to schedule and make time for. But it's worth it! This is one of the many areas moms can trade off in. I take your child(ren) today, you take mine tomorrow. Now, granted, with four children and them all being so small, it is a rarity when their all not at home. The one-year-old never gets play dates, the three-year-old seldom. But I know that time will come and I do what I can to create a quiet atmosphere and send as many on play dates at the same time as possible. Sometimes it ends up that I have an extra child and have one of my own out, but it all works out eventually. Well, kind of. I have to be very intentional about creating this haven of time in my chaotic mother-of-four-under-eight-homeschooling-etc-life.

The important thing is to recognize your need for quiet time, to be intentional creating it, and using it wisely (this is not the time to "browse" the computer or fold 6 loads of laundry.) Remember, you need rest. You can pick how you rest, but make sure it's recharging to you.

Time for Mom

I'll start off my recommendations for finding Mommy Time that is the least popular. But, especially for moms like me that are home full time and homeschool several small children, it is often the only time I get. That is: early mornings. Don't stop reading! Just because I mentioned the worst way many moms could imagine to get time. I used to be just like you. I was the college student who was in bed by ten and usually slept until about seven, later if I didn't have an early class or have to be at work early. I really loved my sleep. I never realized before becoming a mom how much children would impact that one aspect of my life.

When my first child was about three months old when I remember lay in bed crying because I was exhausted. Not only was I exhausted though, I was tired of being exhausted. And that was only three months in. (I was not one of those fortunate women who got a baby who was sleeping eight to ten hours by two months old. EVER! None of my children slept more than five to seven hour stretches until they were eleven months old.) When my second was about six months old, I was going through it again. Of course, this time I was also at home full time and was watching three other children (making a total of five, with four of them being two and under.) Needless to say, I was not getting any Mommy Time. And I was not getting enough sleep. In my desperate prayers to get more sleep, God provided a slightly different answer: He brought me to Proverbs 20:13. Do not love sleep or you will grow poor; stay awake and you will have food to spare. Wow. That socked me right in the chest. I was loving sleep. Not loving motherhood. And I was seeking the wrong thing to become a better friend with motherhood.

I stopped counting hour many hours of sleep I lost and began to focus more on other things. I also got invited to a Bible Study (that'll be another day's post.) I did sleep through the night again, I did have two more babies and go through two more years of interrupted sleep, but through it all, I began to cherish the early morning hours I ended up awake. Whether it was in the middle of the night and the baby was back to sleep, or the early morning just as the sun was coming up, these times became precious. I don't always get these times. I try to listen to my body and make sure I'm getting enough rest to function at full throttle all day long, but when I get them, they are golden. No other time is the house silent for hours. No other time is there not some distraction of the computer or phone to steal my attention. No other time am I fairly safe from interruption for more than ten minutes. No other time am I not fully engaged in listening for what's going on in the other rooms. No other time can I read and study my Bible and talk to God in the unique way quiet brings.

On those mornings I'm woken up by one child or the other calling me or climbing into my bed, I miss my quiet time. I love those moments, too, it's all about balance. But getting spend some time alone with myself, my God, my exercise video, and sometimes my cup of coffee, is like starting the day with a full tank of gas and a freshly washed windshield. I don't get it every day, but when I do, I can tell the difference.

Women's Conference Scholarship

Want to go to an awesome Women's conference, but don't have the $75 for registration? Scholarship applications are being accepted through July 1 - which is NEXT Thursday! Go to http://www.smithmemorial.org/clientimages/17765/pdf/abundantlifebrochurewithmailer4.pdf for the brochure/registration.

Women's Conference Scholarship

Want to go to an awesome Women's conference, but don't have the $75 for registration? Scholarship applications are being accepted through July 1 - which is NEXT Thursday! Go to http://www.smithmemorial.org/clientimages/17765/pdf/abundantlifebrochurewithmailer4.pdf for the brochure/registration.

Women's Conference Scholarship

Want to go to an awesome Women's conference, but don't have the $75 for registration? Scholarship applications are being accepted through July 1 - which is NEXT Thursday! Go to http://www.smithmemorial.org/clientimages/17765/pdf/abundantlifebrochurewithmailer4.pdf for the brochure/registration.

Amazing Mommy Daze

Whew! What a day! Sometimes it truly amazes me what a mommy can get done in a day.

First, it helped that everyone slept in this morning. Yesterday was our first official day out of school (we homeschool, if you didn't already know that) and I let the kids stay up a little later, with the ultimate goal (and it worked!!) of them sleeping in this morning. So, before they got up I: exercised, read the Bible, prayed, ate breakfast, cleaned out a drawer and got ready for the day.

After they got up I: fed them each breakfast, helped the girls straighten up their room some, cleaned out and vacuumed the vehicle, washed it, fed them lunch, read to the 3-year-old, crashed after being out in the heat for a couple hours, read my own book, fixed dinner with a baby on my hip, packed a bag for two to sleep over with Nana, put a baby to bed, weeded in the garden, bathed a tired 7-year-old, read with her, and cleaned up the kitchen from the whole day's mess. Now I'm relaxing with a cup of decaf and the computer. Are you tired?

I was thinking today, as I was vacuuming the car, all the jobs that moms really have to do. Have you ever seen the list that breaks down the jobs moms do and how much their worth? That's fine and dandy to say that I do hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of "jobs" each year, but really (since the paycheck won't be coming in the mail any time soon) I'd most appreciate respect - something most moms are short on. Respect for what we do, that we work hard. And often, the lack of respect comes from each other.

I'm not sure why my brain went to these places today, other than it wonders all on it's own accord. But I thought, a little reminder to recognize the hard work that we each do is never a bad thing. And also, if you don't get that recognition and respect for the WORK that you do, remember, God sees all and will reward you in ways that you could never imagine!

Looking for Speaking Opportunities

I did my first "official" talk in January of this year (I have "unofficially" talked A LOT in my life,) but am officially kicking off my speaking ministry this fall. I am looking for opportunies to speak to women, moms (yes, I know they're women, too), and writers. I'd love for you to browse my list of workshop topics and pass along any opportunities you may know of.

Thanks!

All Women Work – This workshop answers the question of whether women and moms should work outside the home. Taking a Biblical perspective, the argument is made that God calls us all to different situations and different jobs. The myth that we can have it all is busted, and reframed that we can have all that God calls us to have through making work decisions based on an intimate, personal relationship with Him, and not cultural ideas about working women, and encourages respect for and between all women.
The Balancing Act – This workshop overviews the importance of finding balance in life. Balance is crucial to not only surviving life and the responsibilities that come with it, but to thrive in life. Participants will walk away with practical tips and tools that they can begin to implement immediately. Women will leave the workshop empowered to live in the rewards of a life in balance and in pursuit of God’s plan for an abundant life.
Bible Study under the Blow Dryer – Finding time for God and Bible study does not just happen. In the midst of being a wife, taking care of a house, and raising children there’s barely time to think, much less read and study the Bible. However, it is possible to make spiritual growth a priority. By being intentional, and willing to study the Bible, even while drying your hair, you can grow closer to God and live under His blessing.
Fruitful Motherhood – Any mom knows that life is busy. Sometimes it seems that our schedules and demands placed on our children are running our lives. We live for our schedules instead of our schedules working for us. To top it off, we rarely feel like we’re actually getting anything done. This workshop presents the keys to taking control of our schedules and turning busyness into fruitfulness.
Guilt-free Motherhood – Mothers tend to hold on to guilt. Guilt about working. Guilt about not signing up for the right classes. Guilt about broken relationships. Guilt about parenting mistakes. As that guilt is held on to, it negatively affects our emotional, spiritual, and parental lives. Jesus came to offer us life under grace, not guilt. This workshop gives moms the tools to let go of guilt and step into graceful parenting.
Living Life Together – This workshop highlights the importance of women living life in mutual encouragement and benefit. Relationships are meant to be a blessing, but also take work. Participants will gain increased knowledge in how to foster relationships with other women in real ways and enjoy sharing life lived in healthy, positive girl-friendships.
Making Marriage Magical – Marriage is the most unique relationship we ever enter into. There is an intimacy that makes us vulnerable. It’s a relationship that puts us at risk of getting hurt, but also can offer the most rewarding relationship we can have. This workshop answers the question of what marriage is meant to be, what are the true rewards of marriage, and the rules that, when followed, increase the rewards of marriage.
Parenting For Success – Parenting is the most challenging and rewarding job we will ever take on. If it were easy or there was one key thing we could do to guarantee success, we wouldn’t need education and encouragement in our journey. This workshop provides Biblically-based, realistic parenting techniques that are invaluable to parents and easily implemented in any family.
Practicing Patience – Patience is a virtue that helps us live life more abundantly and have healthy relationships with others. It is essential as a mom. Patience is hard to get, as it takes patience to get it. This workshop shows how to pursue and take hold of patience in a way that makes it a reality and a lifestyle.
The Silky Life: The real stay-at-home mom – There are many ideas about women who don’t work outside of the home. While all women are different, moms who stay at home all have something in common. They all have rewards and challenges. This workshop provides tools effective to help moms overcome the challenges, thoroughly enjoy the rewards, and flourish as an individual and a mom.
Starting a Writing Career – There are many resources to help writers begin a writing career. This workshop focuses on the most essential tasks, tips, and tools for a writer to begin a writing career and be successful. Participants will walk away with steps they can implement immediately to begin or rejuvenate their creative work.
Starting a Writing Career on a Budget – Getting into the writing and publishing world provides countless opportunities. Many of these opportunities come with a price tag. However, there are practical things that a new writer can do on a small budget to delve into the world of writing and publishing. This workshop gets to the meat of what writers can do to launch their writing career without breaking the bank.

Last Bit of Weed Picking

There's one last thing about getting rid of the weeds of your life that I cannot leave out: Forgiveness. It is hard, but absolutely necessary. And we all have someone to forgive.

If you don't choose to forgive those who have planted the weeds in your life, it is like planting your own.

My children love working in the garden with me. Sometimes they weed. Sometimes they water my plants. Sometimes they dig and play. One day, they decided to make their own garden in the area I hadn't planted anything yet. They dug and pulled little weeds and had a great time. Then, in the middle of their working area, they planted a tall, not too bad looking weed. They were very proud of that weed in "their" garden. That's what unforgiveness is like. It's like planting a weed that looks harmless, but produces no fruit and will steal nutrients from the things in our lives that are meant to produce fruit.

The first step to forgiveness is recognizing what forgiveness truly is. And is not. Forgiveness is not saying that the harm someone caused is okay. In our house, when an offense is committed, the offending party has to say, "I'm sorry I ...." The receiving party is not allowed to say, "It's okay." Instead, they are to say, "I forgive you." I learned this when my oldest two were very young. I don't want the offending party to think that what they did was okay. It wasn't! Instead, I wanted to teach them to forgive, letting go of the offense and not holding the other party in blame forever.

That's not to say that the offending party doesn't have consequences. Forgiving doesn't mean we act like it didn't happen. It simply means we're not going to hold on the the negative feelings associated with the offense. After all, who does that hurt? The offending party, or the offended? Not forgiving means reinjuring the one who got hurt with negative feelings and thoughts. The one who did the offense is by then off and playing and care free.

Forgiveness allows you to say that something happened, it was not right, it was hurtful, but you're not going to hold on to that hurt.

Recognizing that we too have done things wrong and hurt others will help us forgive. As we accept the forgiveness that others, and mostly God, have given us, we can more easily forgive others. "Forgiveness is... a decision; I choose to forgive. Obeying God. Taking responsibility for my actions and attitudes. Choosing ot live God's love, joy, and peace." (12 Steps to Becoming a More Organized Mom: Positive and Practical Tips for Busy Moms, by Lane P. Jordan)

When we are hurt, we have a choice. We don't have a choice about being hurt, but we have a choice about holding on to that hurt or letting it go. When we choose to let it go, we relieve ourselves of "the burdens of bitterness and resentment and lay them at the feet of Jesus, one who understands and even bears our suffering and pain." (The Truth Behind the Mommy Wars: Who Decides What Makes a Good Mother, by Miriam Peskowitz)

Isaiah 53:5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Luke 4:14-21 Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. He taught in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.
He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written: "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, and he began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."

1 Peter 2:24He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.

Rearranging Life

I like this time of year. The kids can get outside and play. We don't have the pool up, which means I can leave them outside by themselves. My garden is planted (mostly) and is beginning to be fruitful. The weeds are trying to take over my garden.

Really, I do like the last part. Most people despise weeds. You would think I would after spending hours upon hours pulling them out this week with plenty more to get to. However, gardening is very good for my blood sugars, keeps me outside with the kids, and is therapeutic in that it allows me to think as I work.

Yesterday, I was hoeing a new row for my watermelon plants. God always teaches me something through my work in my garden, and yesterday was no different. As I was building my new, elevated row, I paused here and there to take uprooted weeds and toss them aside (I pile them in the "ditches" between the rows; a big pile of dead weeds and some newspaper keep new weeds from growing back.) As I did so, I thought about how we often rearrange things in our lives without really dealing with them or submitting them to God.

That's what I was doing, after all. I was rearranging the dirt and the weeds into a pile. We often deal with the hurts, disappointments, losses, and tragedies in our lives the same way. We rearrange things. We move. We try on a new job. Or a new wardrobe. Or a new husband. Or a new church. Or a new religion. We try to move things around in our lives, not realizing that we've simply piled the dirt on top of the weeds. We can't see them and therefore think they're gone. But, just like the weeds in my garden, left long enough, they will creep back through and take over again.

We will have the same relational conflicts with new people. We will find just as many things wrong with our new job. We will need even newer clothes. We will be dissatisfied that the current church or belief system we're trying out doesn't quite do what we thought it would. Then, most likely we will try rearranging things again. Why? Because it's easier.

As I built my new row, the quickest and easiest thing to do (although it doesn't feel easy, because I was putting so much work in to rearranging things with the hoe) is to leave things moved around. It looked nice. I'd done so much work already. However, to truly deal with the weeds, I needed to spend the extra time, energy, and effort to remove them. It required squatting, digging, and pulling. It took even more work, but it will be worth it in the long run.

We need to do the same with the weeds that have grown up in our lives. We all have them. It's not an easy task, but it is worth it in the long run.

Abundant Life

I am super excited to be able to announce that registration for the Abundant Life Conference for Women is open! Working on the last details of this conference is part of the reason I've been quiet the last couple of weeks, the other was that I've been busy with life as a wife, mother, writher, and gardener. And, if I'm completely honest, also due in part to the passing of the deadline of when I would have heard from the last agent that I submitted my material to. A bit of discouragement settled in and stole my motivation to blog. However, I've pulled myself out of that slight slump and hope to be back on a roll. One of the reasons is a culmination of an idea I had about nine months ago.

That idea has developed into a conference that's scheduled to be held November 12-13. We are fortunate to have scheduled Hannah Keeley of www.totalmom.com as our keynote speaker. Several other ladies with a heart for God will be leading breakout sessions on topics such as: Parenting; Mentoring; Seeking God's Will; Healthy Living; Retired from Work, Not from Ministry; Grandparenting in the 21st Century; Overcoming Fear; Secrets to the Husband You Want; Women of Worth; Making Your Mind Mind; Powerful Prayer; Healing from Trauma, Loss, & Life Disappointments, and Living Life Together. As you can see, this conference will be packed with encouragement from God's Word in just about every area of life.

We are also excited to have Brenda Pogge as a special guest who will be addressing the conference briefly on Friday night.

Registration is only $75 before August 31. This includes all conference sessions, worship, and meals. You can find the brochure with detailed information and registration form at Abundant Life Conference for Women to be held at the Holiday Inn Patriot in Williamsburg on November 12-13 is now open for registration!! We have a limited number of spaces, so register soon! Find an online brochure with registration information online at: http://www.smithmemorial.org/clientimages/17765/pdf/abundantlifebrochurewithmailer4.pdf.
Space is limited, so register soon.

In the meantime, I've recommitted to sharing more on living the abundant life as a mom on a regular basis, whether I'm personally in a period of encouragement or discouragement. And, as always, thanks for reading!

Lesson #2

I promised yesterday to follow up with lesson number 2 that I've been learning the last 11 days. I'm feeling better day by day and got back to much of my routine today, which also meant catching up and I haven't spent a lot of time on the computer. Finally, here I am. And here it is:

The lesson God's been using my minor injury to teach me is compassion. A year ago I probably would have said that I'm a compassionate person. But, isn't it funny how God shows you were you fall short in other areas as you begin to submit to Him in some? I can be thoughtful, I can be generous, I can sympathize and sometimes even empathize. But, I have to admit, I'm not the first to be compassionate.

I'm very willing to say, "Do it anyway." Meaning, do something you don't feel like doing if you know it's the right thing to do. Do something when it's uncomfortable, or inconvenient, or you have barriers in your way. Do it even if you're afraid. I still believe that these things are true: if we wait for everything to be in place and to feel like doing something, then we may seldom do the best thing. HOWEVER, this needs to be balanced with compassion and understanding.

If someone hurts, they need that to be understood. Not everyone's situation is the same. If someone is hurt emotionally, or depressed, or anxious, it's real easy to say, "Do it anyway." It takes more character and compassion to stop, listen, love, and encourage.

This past week and a half I have been on pause and in pain. God has used that to teach me to be more understanding and less regimented in my responses to people's situations. I was very fortunate to have loving people around me to help me out as I spent the better part of a week laid on my back (not an easy task with a 7-, 5-, 3-year olds, and 11-month old.) I fought feeling guilty, because that is our tendency as mom's when we see someone else doing our jobs. I fought it because I knew the best way for me to get back on my feet and be 100% mom again, I needed to take that time to heal. And as I did, God brought to my mind others struggles that I have not heeded His call to respond in caring compassion.

I am not grateful for my pulled muscles, but I am grateful that I am learning to hear God's voice in every situation I face. I hope that I can remember and practice what I've learned during this time. I hope that compassion becomes a part of my character, as I learn to submit more and more to Him and continue to be transformed into His image.

When Life's on Pause

It's been over a week since I posted, and I apologize for that. While I realize no one's life is on hold, waiting with baited breath for my next post, I do try to be more consistent than an occasional post here and there. However, sometimes things happen in life that put in a mode of "pause." You know, you're going about your regular routine and suddenly someone hits the pause button and everything is on hold for a while. This can happen for any number of reasons, for me it happened because I did something foolish. Or rather, I didn't do something that I know I should do.

First a little back story: my youngest is 11 and 1/2 months old. I had a very difficult pregnancy and due in part to being a type 1 diabetic and having to adjust my insulin every 2 weeks during the pregnancy (and due in other part to grabbing chocolate chips instead of juice when I hit a low - almost every day) I gained a whopping 65 pounds during that pregnancy. Now, to put this in perspective, I gained a total of 65 pounds in my first three pregnancies COMBINED. Needless to say, I had no problem getting the weight off the first three times, but after losing 45 pounds the first four months, my weight loss stopped. I haven't lost a pound in the last 7 & 1/2 months (okay, I've lost a couple, gained a couple, but have generally hovered at the same place.)

About a month ago my sweet little person began sleeping through the night most nights. That is, 8-12 hours, not the 5-6 they consider through the night for newborns. That meant I was actually getting restful sleep and able to get up and exercise early in the morning. I was on a roll - exercising 3-4 days a week. I haven't lost any weight, but hey, I'm building muscle, right? I even squeezed into my "big" jeans. (Up until now, I've been in elastic-waisted pants and my hubby's jeans.) Then last Monday I went for a walk with my 2 pound weights, was feeling really good and doing curls and arm raises as I walked. I came home and proceeded with my regular routine to get ready for my one day at work.

By the time I left the house, my lower back was a little sore. By 10:00 a.m., I was in constant pain. By 1:00 p.m. I could barely walk. I had pulled a muscle walking.

"Did you stretch?" the doctor asked.

I hung my head and answered, "No. I usually do. But I didn't this morning."

And there it was. I was injured and had a pulled muscle that wasn't happy with me doing anything other than laying down. Thankfully gratefully to good friends, moms, and a hubby with good leave, I had help every day last week. I didn't go to the computer much, and was off in a flash. Even now, 9 days later, it hurts to sit longer than an hour. Fortunately, as a mom, most of my duties are performed standing up.

I am healing, albeit slowly, and getting back into things. I don't like being on pause. But I gracefully was aware enough to pay attention to what God may be teaching me in allowing this. Lesson #1: always stretch!!! Lesson #2 will come tomorrow. For now, I'm going to get off the computer and go lay down and snuggle with my oldest blessing.

Enjoying the Ride

Do you ever feel like you're on a roller coaster? Now, I do not appreciate most "real" roller coasters. I hate the feeling just after the top of the hill when you start going down. I don't mind going sideways or upside down, but I dread that initial drop. I can appreciate, however, the metaphore a roller coaster can offer to us.

In life you generally don't see what's coming next. On occasion, we see something coming that we want to avoid, but more often than not we're riding the roller coaster of life with blindfolds on. We never know what's going to come next, or how long the drop is.

I often feel like I'm on a roller coaster in motherhood. Writing the book that I'm working on, I've gotten a somewhat removed look at the ups and downs we go through. It's as if we do well for a while, we're content, happy, enjoying life and motherhood. And then something happens. It can be small or big. It can be a stomach virus, or a defiant child, or a family tragedy. Or it can simply be the adding up of all the little things that bug us. Whatever it is, it sends us plunging to the depths of discontent, grumpiness, and negative thinking. Some days I simply want to revolt- no cooking, no cleaning, no laundry, no reading books, no nothing.

Fortunately I'm connected enough to my God and my godly friends that I don't stay in the pit for long. I'd rather not go there at all, but I'm glad that my trips are much shorter than they used to be. And I know what I need to do to help avoid getting there and/or get out more quickly: I need to stop my negative thinking and think on things that are "true...noble...right...pure...lovely...admirable...excellent or praisworthy;" I need to pray for strength and comfort to do and face what is in front of me; I need to make sure I'm taking "care of [my] own interests as well as the interests of others."

By implementing the things I know to do when I feel that initial drop, the momentum will carry me right out of the pit and back on top, where I prefer to be.

Do Nothing Days

I'm a firm believer that we moms need a do nothing day every once in a while. With our busy schedules and demands on us they don't often just happen. We have to make them happen and be okay with leaving things til tomorrow (once in a while, not always.)

I had one of those days yesterday. I didn't plan it, it just happened. I had a to do list, but interrupted sleep was catching up with me (and I had a new fiction book to read.) So, I had a do nothing day. Well...not exactly NOTHING. I fed my kids three meals, put steaks on marinade and separated hamburger to put in the freezer. I checked in with FaceBook, email, and Twitter. I even sent out a few emails. But overall, I rested (in search of a nap most of the day until I finally got one around 2:30) and read most of the day. Although nothing on my to do list got done, I feel more refreshed and ready to tackle things today.

Ironic that I'm in the middle of writing my chapter on health, and just earlier this week wrote the section on resting our minds. Ironic, or actually putting into practice what I believe?