Learning from the Little Things

The sound of a small person thumping and rolling down the stairs is a terrible one.

A few minutes ago I help my precious 2-year-old and thanked God for her cries. She was bumped around a bit, but really okay.

But it made me wonder: How many moms are holding a precious child in their arms who can no longer cry? Whether having succumbed to disease, cut short by starvation, or brutally killed because of persecution or other evil, how many mothers will weep over a baby today?

I am so grateful for every moment with my children, even the frustrating ones.

And I also wonder: What can I do to make a difference to those other mothers around the world? What little thing would I have to give up to donate a few meals? What time in prayer could I sacrifice for safety? In what ways can I help promote the spread of the gospel of Christ Jesus, the only true source of hope and peace?

Thank you, God, for protecting my child from serious harm and using such a small thing to draw me closer to Your will.

http://www.gfa.org/

http://www.compassion.com/

http://www.watoto.com/

Christians and Halloween

It's interesting to me that I've heard more discussion about Christians and Halloween in the last week than I have my entire life. I can honestly say that for the majority of my life, I never gave the holiday a second thought. Growing up, I dressed up (although I can't remember a single costume I wore) and trick-or-treated at the dozen houses in close enough proximity to do so. As an adult, I've attended costume parties (I do remember a few of those costumes), get-togethers, and handed out candy to neighborhood children. I'm not sure exactly when the change started, but sometime after becoming a parent myself, I began to look at it from a slightly different angle. I'm sure my maturing faith and growing closer and learning to be more heedful of God in my life played a role as well.

Still, I've never once considered completely giving up doing anything on Halloween. Both of the churches I've attended have done fall festivals - one on Halloween day, one not. The festivals focus on fellowship, fun, and food. In other words, your normal Baptist fare. Costumes are allowed, as long as they're not scary.

This year, however, I observed a passionate discussion between some Christians that began over one's opinion that Christians should absolutely, in no way shape or form, take part in Halloween or its celebrations. The main argument was that Halloween has deep roots in pagan rituals. It began as a pagan celebration that's been white-washed and adapted to the American commercial culture. We are in a spiritual war and participating in Halloween opens us up to spiritual attack from our enemy, the devil.

The counter, argued that in Romans 14 God clearly addresses how Christians are to respond to the world and pagan rituals. In discussing eating things offered to idols, the Word says to seek God and either eat or don't eat with a clear conscious. He never says don't eat. He also says that nothing in and of itself is unclean. That includes Halloween - nothing means nothing.

However, it also says not to put a stumbling block in another's path, a statement another fellow Christian made in a completely different discussion about Halloween I found myself in. So what does that mean for Christians?

It means to seek God. Keep the issue between you and Him. And be willing to give up whatever your ideas are about the holiday and its traditions. Whenever we begin to espouse our opinions and what God's lead us to do over love and edification of each other, we have missed the point.

Another comment made in the latter discussion is that we are to be light in the world. How do we do this in relation to Halloween? For some it's completely pulling out of anything to do with it. For others, it's offering alternatives. For our family it's taking part in something that is very cultural, but in a slightly different way.

We allow our kids to dress up, but nothing scary is allowed. We allow them to go trick-or-treating and see neighbors we don't normally see after the weather gets cold. We also hand out candy, each peace with a scripture stapled to it. These tiny pieces of paper are surely discarded as quickly as the wrapper, but curiosity almost ensures that it will at least be read by some. And who knows? Maybe this is the only time some children will ever hear the words of the one, true, and holy God. Maybe a parent is struggling, has lost their way, or has never heard the Word themselves, and that one sentence will make an impact. (God's word is powerful and accomplishes things on its own.)

In addition, we hand out cider and chili to the parents that are supervising trick-or-treating. I'll be honest to say a warm cup on a cold night has never began a conversation about God. But I regretfully admit I've never prayed that it would. That an unexpected door would be opened. From now on, however, I will. And maybe a heart will be softened and open to the gospel because of a small giving gesture.

This is how we choose to be light in world full of darkness and a holiday steeped in historical darkness.

In the end it doesn't matter for you what I do with Halloween. In the end, it matters if you're willing to submit completely to obedience to God and how He leads you to handle this holiday. We are not to quarrel over disputable matters. Halloween is not directly addressed in Scripture (although passages on other pagan rituals are there to guide us) and is not a make-it-or-break-it issue for salvation. That makes it a disputable matter. We shouldn't extract a few scriptures to back up our point of view either, but take scripture as a whole and with an openness to God about this, as well as about the other details in our lives. God might surprise us. He might confirm us. Most assuredly He will bring us together as one and bring glory to Himself.

Your Parenting Partner

In the rest of the posts on parenting you will find the core principles of parenting. But please remember that you and God are partners in this parenting deal. He did not give you your children and then abandon you and wish you the best of luck. He is right in it with you.

Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:4-5

We have a great responsibility as parents, but as we meet that responsibility we can rely on, trust in, and lean on God to both help us and work in our children’s hearts. Our job is to seek God’s will for our children and rely on His guidance and strength to follow through on the day-to-day duties of being a mom.

God is the Ultimate Parent and has clearly laid out the principles of parenting through Scripture. The first principle is loving discipline. It’s important that we recognize that everything we do is working towards training our children in love. This includes discipline. God always disciplines us as his children because He loves us and has our best interest at heart and we are to do the same for our children.

For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. Psalm 3:12

Merry Christmas to All Moms

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise the child, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he was conceived.

Luke 2:1-21

Avoid Stress during the Holidays

I've been fortunate to be asked to speak to a local MOPS group about balance this month. I'm fortunate not only for the opportunity, but the reminders of what I need to do to stay balanced during this time of crazy, busy, extra responsibilities.

As moms, we have a wealth of daily responsibilities - cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework, diapers, potty training, character reinforcement, errand running, and being Mom taxi. Then the holidays come and we add shopping for presents, wrapping those presents, going to and hosting parties, Christmas cards, etc. All these things are fun and great, but we often wonder how to fit those things in on top of everything we do already.

First, allow yourself to let some things go. While your family still needs to be fed and clothed, surely there are some items that can wait until after the holidays. My ironing is currently piled up in the laundry room and has been on my to do list for a while, but truly, it can wait until after the family Christmas party we're hosting this weekend. I'm a homeschooling mom, and we haven't completely given up school, but we're on a reduced holiday schedule. What can you let go?

Second, realize that you can't do it all. It's okay to say "no" - even to good things. If that good thing causes you stress, then it's not ultimately a good thing.

Third, don't forget to take care of yourself. Take time, at least once a week, to do something for you. Watch a chick flick, take a bubble bath, get or give yourself a pedicure, read a novel, get a massage. Most importantly, spend time with God. Ask Him for strength to get through this busy season and follow His guidance in what to do each day.

Which brings me to the last item: focus on one day at a time. It is helpful to plan ahead (I don't need to be going grocery shopping the morning of my dinner party), but once we have an overall plan, we should focus only on today. After all, today's the only day we can live out.

Children's Bible Review

Did you ever wish there was a Bible for your children that they could read on their own? Not one that is a paraphrase of a selection of stories, but one that is a translation specifically for them. I recently received the International Children's Bible - Big Red - with updated graphics. This Bible is perfect for my seven year old, who's beyond toddler Bibles but not quite ready for adult translations. The updated graphics aren't my favorite, because I don't like the new style of graphics, but they're done well and I can see that they'd attract little ones' eyes.

What if

My recent reading of Max Lucado's book OutLIVE Your LIfe has inspired me to ask some new questions of myself. Questions that would be good for all of us to ask. The main one is:

What can I do to make a difference?

In some ways, I've been asking these questions for a while now. I try to share life with others, giving in small ways. Passing on maternity clothes. Donating or consigning at reasonable prices children's clothes. Cooking a meal. Exchanging child care. While I think I have been obedient in serving those in my immediate circle (some days more than others), I am now being stretched to see how I can serve those that would cause me to step out of my comfort zone.

Many of us believe, say, and reinforce that we dont' have time? But is that true? How much time do we spend in front of the television? How much time to we spend surfing the net? How many activities do we sign our children up for? How often do we get together to have fun? We all have time, we choose how we spend it. We can choose to spend it differently.

What if

* We signed our child/ren up for one less activity and instead did some family volunteering each week/month?

*We gave up eating out once a week/month and donated that money to a feeding program for some of the millions of starving children in the world?

*We watered our lawn one less time a week and donated that money to a clean water well drilling program?

*We spent a "ladies night out" serving the poor a healthy meal?

*We used a family vacation to go on a mission trip instead of going to a theme park?

There are probably many other quetions we could as ourselves. Many other ways we can give. Won't giving to others teach our children all the things we wish to teach them? Isn't that what Jesus taught us?

What impact on our personal world and the world at large would we have if we decided to give a little more, and then followed through on it?

To Balance Me Out

My post last Friday was bluntly honest about one of my most frustrating faults - forgetfulness. As I was walking early in the morning (in the perfect 63 degrees late summer, early morning air), God brought something to my attention. Although I may be forgetful, He is not. He's never forgotten anyone. ANYONE. EVER.

That is a thought that I could sit and mediate on for a while. Instead, this morning, I walked and thought about it. God not only knows each of us, but He knows every hair on our head, our hearts, and our thoughts. And He still loves us. Still offers complete forgiveness for ever time we have sinned either by commission or ommission. He forgave me for forgetting my neighbor over 2000 years ago as His very own blood was flowing from the body He chose to put His Spirit in for 33 years.

He knew each mistake I was going to make before He ever called me to love Him, serve Him, and start my own ministry. He also knew that I would fight my flesh to become obedient to Him. And that's why I think He's allowed me all the priveleges He has.

So, as you look at yourself and those around you - how so very far short we fall from perfection - remember that there is a perfect, all-knowing, all-powerful God who loves You. Allow that information to help you gird up your garments and continue to run the race He has set before you, not growing weary in doing good.

Recharging

Do you need a recharge? Is life crazy? Busy? Draining you instead of reviving you? Can you believe the school year starts back up in a month and a half? Why don't you schedule in a retreat for yourself in the fall, in between school starting and the business of the Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday season? Just 24 hours can recharge you and fill you with life-changing encouragement.

The Abundant Life Conference for Women is being held November 12-13, 2010 in beautiful Williamsburg, VA. The $75 registration fee includes all sessions, 2 meals, and a snack. Get a hotel room at the Holiday Inn Patriot for $79 (for up to 4 people) and breakfast will also be included. Early registration ends August 31, so click here to print your registration form and send it in today! We look forward to a special time of drawing closer together as women, moms, sisters, friends, and, most importantly, daughters of God!

Women's Conference Scholarship

Want to go to an awesome Women's conference, but don't have the $75 for registration? Scholarship applications are being accepted through July 1 - which is NEXT Thursday! Go to http://www.smithmemorial.org/clientimages/17765/pdf/abundantlifebrochurewithmailer4.pdf for the brochure/registration.

Spritual Richness

The difference between the spiritually rich and the spiritually poor is that the spiritually rich pray, read the Bible, and seek God first & spend what time they have left on everything else, while the spiritually poor spend their time on everything else and hope to have time to pray, read the Bible, and seek God. (adapted from financial formula in Today Matters by John C. Maxwell)

Amazing Mommy Daze

Whew! What a day! Sometimes it truly amazes me what a mommy can get done in a day.

First, it helped that everyone slept in this morning. Yesterday was our first official day out of school (we homeschool, if you didn't already know that) and I let the kids stay up a little later, with the ultimate goal (and it worked!!) of them sleeping in this morning. So, before they got up I: exercised, read the Bible, prayed, ate breakfast, cleaned out a drawer and got ready for the day.

After they got up I: fed them each breakfast, helped the girls straighten up their room some, cleaned out and vacuumed the vehicle, washed it, fed them lunch, read to the 3-year-old, crashed after being out in the heat for a couple hours, read my own book, fixed dinner with a baby on my hip, packed a bag for two to sleep over with Nana, put a baby to bed, weeded in the garden, bathed a tired 7-year-old, read with her, and cleaned up the kitchen from the whole day's mess. Now I'm relaxing with a cup of decaf and the computer. Are you tired?

I was thinking today, as I was vacuuming the car, all the jobs that moms really have to do. Have you ever seen the list that breaks down the jobs moms do and how much their worth? That's fine and dandy to say that I do hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of "jobs" each year, but really (since the paycheck won't be coming in the mail any time soon) I'd most appreciate respect - something most moms are short on. Respect for what we do, that we work hard. And often, the lack of respect comes from each other.

I'm not sure why my brain went to these places today, other than it wonders all on it's own accord. But I thought, a little reminder to recognize the hard work that we each do is never a bad thing. And also, if you don't get that recognition and respect for the WORK that you do, remember, God sees all and will reward you in ways that you could never imagine!

Imperfectly In Him

This is how I signed an email recently. I was up early and trying to get a million things done before my precious (busy, needy) children woke up. I was sending out some emails, and since two of them were for the same thing, I reused the first email to do the second. Only, while I was in the midst of it I heard by baby (now 1, but still a baby) wake up and begin fussing for me. I thought, "Let me get this finished. Then, if she doesn't go back to sleep, at least I'll have it done." So I rushed through it and forgot to change something. Something that made it obvious that it was a copy. I realized it (with an audible groan) while I was nursing. Little one did go back to bed and back to sleep. I headed back to the computer and whipped up a new email.

I humbly apologized and explained what happened. In the end, 'sincerely' or 'thank you' or any other salutation didn't feel right. Suddenly (it must have been God-inspired) the phrase 'Imperfectly In Him' hit me. It was so true and the most appropriate thing I could have said. And what do you know? Out of the two emails I sent, this was the one I heard back from immediately - and it was positive (I am tentatively booked for 4 MOPS speaking engagments!)

What else I got out of it was the reinforcement of a lesson God is constantly teaching me: how imperfect I am. Not that I ever thought I was perfect, but I most definitely have not always seen myself through God's eyes.

I've been familiar with Romans 3:23 for a long time - "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" - but sometimes I see only certain things as sin.I judge myself more by the worlds standards than by God's. However, as my vision of myself becomes clearer and clearer, I grasp not only that God made me "wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14), but I am a sinner, dead in my sin, except for the grace poured out on my by God.

Last Bit of Weed Picking

There's one last thing about getting rid of the weeds of your life that I cannot leave out: Forgiveness. It is hard, but absolutely necessary. And we all have someone to forgive.

If you don't choose to forgive those who have planted the weeds in your life, it is like planting your own.

My children love working in the garden with me. Sometimes they weed. Sometimes they water my plants. Sometimes they dig and play. One day, they decided to make their own garden in the area I hadn't planted anything yet. They dug and pulled little weeds and had a great time. Then, in the middle of their working area, they planted a tall, not too bad looking weed. They were very proud of that weed in "their" garden. That's what unforgiveness is like. It's like planting a weed that looks harmless, but produces no fruit and will steal nutrients from the things in our lives that are meant to produce fruit.

The first step to forgiveness is recognizing what forgiveness truly is. And is not. Forgiveness is not saying that the harm someone caused is okay. In our house, when an offense is committed, the offending party has to say, "I'm sorry I ...." The receiving party is not allowed to say, "It's okay." Instead, they are to say, "I forgive you." I learned this when my oldest two were very young. I don't want the offending party to think that what they did was okay. It wasn't! Instead, I wanted to teach them to forgive, letting go of the offense and not holding the other party in blame forever.

That's not to say that the offending party doesn't have consequences. Forgiving doesn't mean we act like it didn't happen. It simply means we're not going to hold on the the negative feelings associated with the offense. After all, who does that hurt? The offending party, or the offended? Not forgiving means reinjuring the one who got hurt with negative feelings and thoughts. The one who did the offense is by then off and playing and care free.

Forgiveness allows you to say that something happened, it was not right, it was hurtful, but you're not going to hold on to that hurt.

Recognizing that we too have done things wrong and hurt others will help us forgive. As we accept the forgiveness that others, and mostly God, have given us, we can more easily forgive others. "Forgiveness is... a decision; I choose to forgive. Obeying God. Taking responsibility for my actions and attitudes. Choosing ot live God's love, joy, and peace." (12 Steps to Becoming a More Organized Mom: Positive and Practical Tips for Busy Moms, by Lane P. Jordan)

When we are hurt, we have a choice. We don't have a choice about being hurt, but we have a choice about holding on to that hurt or letting it go. When we choose to let it go, we relieve ourselves of "the burdens of bitterness and resentment and lay them at the feet of Jesus, one who understands and even bears our suffering and pain." (The Truth Behind the Mommy Wars: Who Decides What Makes a Good Mother, by Miriam Peskowitz)

Isaiah 53:5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Luke 4:14-21 Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. He taught in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.
He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written: "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, and he began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."

1 Peter 2:24He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.

Uprooting the Weeds of Life

So, how do we get rid of those weeds? Those hurts and scars that we carry with us from a variety of experiences. First, we shouldn't try to get rid of them all at once. When I'm gardening and try to grab a handful of weeds to pull up, it is much more difficult. I use less effort overall pulling one or two weeds at a time. There are some that are not as well rooted that I can grab a handful of, but then there are those I have to work on individually. Knowing the difference will be helpful as you tackle emotional weeds.

As a counselor, I believe in the benefit of going to a counselor for guidance and assistance in dealing with some things. Especially the more deeply rooted items. In my garden, I use a tool to help with the stubborn weeds, and the same can be done in life. But, also as a counselor, I recognize that all counselors are not equal and recommend only using one who comes from a Biblical-worldview. They will guide you to healing through God's grace, mercy, love, and forgiveness. Many others will try to convince you that healing comes from getting better at getting your needs met.

I also know that many people aren't comfortable with or in a position to go to counseling. You can still heal and get rid of the weeds. You simply have to be willing to do the work.

The first step is to look around at anything that may be perpetuating the weeds. Are there relationships that encourage their growth? What thought patterns nurture them? What behaviors keep them around? You don't want to abandon good friends and you most certainly don't want to dissolve your marriage, breaking vows that are meant to be for a lifetime, but you want to surround yourself with people who will offer Godly encouragement and wisdom. They don't even necessarily have to know what your dealing with. If you have them in your life, and God has something to say through them, it will happen.

Next, thought patterns are to be tackled. What and how we think affects what we do and how we relate to people. You may not be able to recognize negative or harmful thought patterns, especially if they've been around a long time. However, as you delve into the Bible, God will begin to plant seeds of His Word that will produce fruit in your life. The Word and prayer (simply communicating with God) are an unstoppable power to transform life.

As your thoughts change, so will your actions. You will no longer set yourself up for failure. You will no longer sabotage relationships. You will no longer let the weeds of your past rise up and choke the vegetable- and fruit-bearing things of your life. (Yes, we are to be fruitful, but vegetables are important produce, too.)

While I just went through the Reader's Digest version in a few paragraphs, this is an on-going process. The work you have to do will depend on the amount, size, and depth of the weeds in your life. It may look like too much as you survey the landscape, but by pulling one weed at a time, you will change the looks of it for good.