Tired Mommy

It's one a.m. and I'm listening to the Backyardigans and posting on my blog. I'm tired, but not because I'm up so late. I'm tired because the stomach bug is working it's way through our house again. And that's not even the most of it.

This is usually when I pull the covers up over my head and hide until things get better. Not just because of viruses, but because I'm dragging, unmotivated, and down. It's a side of me I usually don't let people see. I fold  it up neatly and tuck it away in the secret compartment of my diary. But today, trudging through one more day and feeling physically better, but not emotionally, I decided to share this part of the journey that I tend to keep to myself.

First, there's plenty of things that have occurred in the last two months that contribute to my current state. Things could be so much worse, I know friends and family members going through worse, but this is the wearing down I've had since the start of 2012. It actually began two days after Christmas when one of my precious babies threw up for several hours. Over the course of the following two and a half weeks, the bug went through everyone in our house and my in-laws. It took anywhere from two to four days in between one person and the next, meaning about the time we reappeared in public, another one was hit. Recovering from the purging virus, our immune systems were struggling and succumbed to a random unnamed virus and then strep throat. Feeling better, but still dragging, I began to wonder if I had slid down the hill of energy in to the valley of exhaustion and depression - not clinical depression, but discouraging, dragging days. Then one morning I woke up with achy joints and a lacy rash on my arms and legs. A quick doctor's appointment and half pint of blood verified I have parvovirus B19 (known as Fifth disease in children.) The good news was it wasn't something permanent. The not quite as good news was that it can last anywhere from one to three months.

I'm feeling better, but two of my children have had the tell-tale signs of red cheeks over the last 10 days. And now, the stomach bug has hit again. And I'm tired.

Though I know I could be taking a child to cancer treatments every day. Or be dealing with a lifelong, debilitating disease. Or many, many other more heart-wrenching situations. Yet still, I'm tired.

I don't share this to complain. I really don't. I share it to...well...share it. To stand behind my desire to be completely honest about the journey of motherhood, even the dark days.

I'm struggling to stay focused, but keep plugging away each day clinging to God, reading and standing on His promises, and starting over with each sunrise to be more present for my children. There's nothing like illness to get you more present.

I don't think it's a coincidence that the first two months of 2012 have been so challenging when I've vowed to fast and pray for a loved one until my prayers are answered. Or when this is the year I start speaking with Stonecroft Ministries. Or the third year of the Abundant Life Conference for Women, which continues to grow for the glory of God. None of it is a coincidence. Nor that I read James through just last week. God tells us trials are to come and to be joyful in them. I don't feel joy, but I have the peace that God is with me, His Spirit dwelling in me, if I simply let go and rely on Him I will find the joy again. Maybe the most difficult of all: letting go.

Learning from the Little Things

The sound of a small person thumping and rolling down the stairs is a terrible one.

A few minutes ago I help my precious 2-year-old and thanked God for her cries. She was bumped around a bit, but really okay.

But it made me wonder: How many moms are holding a precious child in their arms who can no longer cry? Whether having succumbed to disease, cut short by starvation, or brutally killed because of persecution or other evil, how many mothers will weep over a baby today?

I am so grateful for every moment with my children, even the frustrating ones.

And I also wonder: What can I do to make a difference to those other mothers around the world? What little thing would I have to give up to donate a few meals? What time in prayer could I sacrifice for safety? In what ways can I help promote the spread of the gospel of Christ Jesus, the only true source of hope and peace?

Thank you, God, for protecting my child from serious harm and using such a small thing to draw me closer to Your will.

http://www.gfa.org/

http://www.compassion.com/

http://www.watoto.com/

Christians and Halloween

It's interesting to me that I've heard more discussion about Christians and Halloween in the last week than I have my entire life. I can honestly say that for the majority of my life, I never gave the holiday a second thought. Growing up, I dressed up (although I can't remember a single costume I wore) and trick-or-treated at the dozen houses in close enough proximity to do so. As an adult, I've attended costume parties (I do remember a few of those costumes), get-togethers, and handed out candy to neighborhood children. I'm not sure exactly when the change started, but sometime after becoming a parent myself, I began to look at it from a slightly different angle. I'm sure my maturing faith and growing closer and learning to be more heedful of God in my life played a role as well.

Still, I've never once considered completely giving up doing anything on Halloween. Both of the churches I've attended have done fall festivals - one on Halloween day, one not. The festivals focus on fellowship, fun, and food. In other words, your normal Baptist fare. Costumes are allowed, as long as they're not scary.

This year, however, I observed a passionate discussion between some Christians that began over one's opinion that Christians should absolutely, in no way shape or form, take part in Halloween or its celebrations. The main argument was that Halloween has deep roots in pagan rituals. It began as a pagan celebration that's been white-washed and adapted to the American commercial culture. We are in a spiritual war and participating in Halloween opens us up to spiritual attack from our enemy, the devil.

The counter, argued that in Romans 14 God clearly addresses how Christians are to respond to the world and pagan rituals. In discussing eating things offered to idols, the Word says to seek God and either eat or don't eat with a clear conscious. He never says don't eat. He also says that nothing in and of itself is unclean. That includes Halloween - nothing means nothing.

However, it also says not to put a stumbling block in another's path, a statement another fellow Christian made in a completely different discussion about Halloween I found myself in. So what does that mean for Christians?

It means to seek God. Keep the issue between you and Him. And be willing to give up whatever your ideas are about the holiday and its traditions. Whenever we begin to espouse our opinions and what God's lead us to do over love and edification of each other, we have missed the point.

Another comment made in the latter discussion is that we are to be light in the world. How do we do this in relation to Halloween? For some it's completely pulling out of anything to do with it. For others, it's offering alternatives. For our family it's taking part in something that is very cultural, but in a slightly different way.

We allow our kids to dress up, but nothing scary is allowed. We allow them to go trick-or-treating and see neighbors we don't normally see after the weather gets cold. We also hand out candy, each peace with a scripture stapled to it. These tiny pieces of paper are surely discarded as quickly as the wrapper, but curiosity almost ensures that it will at least be read by some. And who knows? Maybe this is the only time some children will ever hear the words of the one, true, and holy God. Maybe a parent is struggling, has lost their way, or has never heard the Word themselves, and that one sentence will make an impact. (God's word is powerful and accomplishes things on its own.)

In addition, we hand out cider and chili to the parents that are supervising trick-or-treating. I'll be honest to say a warm cup on a cold night has never began a conversation about God. But I regretfully admit I've never prayed that it would. That an unexpected door would be opened. From now on, however, I will. And maybe a heart will be softened and open to the gospel because of a small giving gesture.

This is how we choose to be light in world full of darkness and a holiday steeped in historical darkness.

In the end it doesn't matter for you what I do with Halloween. In the end, it matters if you're willing to submit completely to obedience to God and how He leads you to handle this holiday. We are not to quarrel over disputable matters. Halloween is not directly addressed in Scripture (although passages on other pagan rituals are there to guide us) and is not a make-it-or-break-it issue for salvation. That makes it a disputable matter. We shouldn't extract a few scriptures to back up our point of view either, but take scripture as a whole and with an openness to God about this, as well as about the other details in our lives. God might surprise us. He might confirm us. Most assuredly He will bring us together as one and bring glory to Himself.

Motivation to Minister

As I sat and listened to a man struggle through talking about his experiences during Vietnam - what he saw, the nightmares that have lasted for more than 40 years, and the changes those experiences made in his life and marriage - I was reminded something a friend said recently: People are hurting. And we need to reach them where they're hurting, minister to them, care for them, and touch their lives in a healing way. And tonight I was reminded. By a man who is strong. A man who's committed to the Lord and his family. A man who continues to live and give. A man who continues to hurt because of trauma and devestation he saw over 40 years ago. People are hurting.

They hurt because of past or present abuse - physical, sexual, and/or emotional. They hurt because of abandonment. They hurt because of lies and deceit. They hurt because of traumatic experiences - accidents, fires, floods, tornadoes. They hurt because of others' selfishness. People hurt.

Taking a panoramic view of people and their pain can be overwhelming. But if we look at one person at a time and minister to their hurt, we will be able to make a difference. If we call them when they're going through a rough time. Send a card. Bring a meal. Clean a house. Watch children. Pray. Give. Encourage. Share. Love. It all makes a difference.

We miss these opportunities every day, just as we miss the opportunity to be thankful for the small things God gives us every day, but if we take the time, become intentional, we will impact lives.

When did someone love you? Share with you? Encourage you? Give to you? Pray for you? How were you impacted? Such small things, but big in life. The things that matter the most. The things that make life here on this fallen, sinful, ungrateful world better.

So, I'm grateful for the reminder. Of war. Of damage. Of carnage. Of pain. Because then I'm reminded of love. Of grace. Of healing. Of peace. Of God. He gifts us with everything we need to get through anything we may face and often that is each other.

People are hurting, which makes me ask: What can I do to help?

Balance, Balance, & More Balance!

On my recent weekend getaway/womens/writers & speakers conference (i.e. She Speaks :) one of the new things I learned about was having a tagline for ministry. Since I'm primarily a writer and a speaker second, this wasn't something I was familiar with. The speaker talking about the tagline said, "Don't expect you'll come up with something that fits and you like today or even this weekend." But I did. I think.

I'm still sitting on it, but the more I think about it and the more I look at my ministry focus, the more I'm convinced I've nailed it. And it is:

Balanced Living for a Brilliant God.

That pretty much sums up my ministry and covers all topics I write/speak about. In attempting to live in a way that brings success, happiness and contentment, balance is necessary in every area.

When it comes to housework/chores and spending time with our families, balance is necessary. If we get out of wack in either area, we will either suffer from chaos in life or chaos in our relationships.

When it comes to taking care of ourselves, balance is necessary. If we completely neglect ourselves, we will not be healthy enough to take care of our families and other responsibilites. If we spend too much time and energy on ourselves, we will be self-centered and our world around us will collapse.

When it comes to relationships, balance is necessary. If we expect too much of another without giving anything in return, the relationship will self-destruct. If we give too much and the relationship isn't mutual (notice, however, that I didn't say equal), it will be unhealthy and damaging.

When it comes to parenting, balance is necessary. If we give our children love with no limits, they will be spoiled, self-seeking, and have a "the world owes me" attitude. If we give our children limits with no love, they will end up hurt, angry, and lacking the ability to enjoy relationships as a gift from God.

Even when it comes to our relationship to God, balance is necessary. He tells us to pray at all times about all things, which doesn't sound balanced, but if all we do is lock our selves away from the world to pray, we will not do the things God has purposed for us to do. Prayer is work within itself, and we can do it at all times in all occasions, but it is not the only work we are to do in obedience and accordance to our faith.

When we get out of balance, we feel it. Life is often a constant self-correcting when we get lopsided in one area or another. I spent most of yesterday reading a book (this is why I greatly restrict my fiction reading diet!) So today, I'm getting work done and spending time with the kids, before I pick up the next book in the series.

And while balance is good for us, to help us stay content, be successful in the tasks we're given, and have happiness along the way, the ultimate goal in everything is to bring glory to the Lord, who is brilliant in every way.

Fear of Letting Go

I began my open journey of dicarding (after digging up and divulging) my fears in my last post. I continue that journey here with the admission that while my heart's desire is to radically abandon myself completely to God and His perfect plan for my life, the flesh in me clings tight. Like someone clinging to the side of a cliff not knowing the ledge is less than ten feet away, I cling to the idea that I have to work at things.

God recently dig a great work in me and gave me the freedom of knowing I don't have to work at everything - approval, acceptance, accolades.

Yet I still hold back. I don't want to completely let go. I know this because I do things like make my to do list without first praying about it. I pray for others, ask God to take control of my heart, but I don't go to Him with the details of my life. Why is that?

If I'm going to be completely open and honest, it's because I'm afraid of what I'll have to let go if I submit every detail of my life. What I eat. What I wear. What I write. What I watch on TV. What I listen to on the radio. How I spend every moment of every day. How I acknowledge Him with every breath I take.

Truly, I think this is a common fear - of both believers and unbelievers. We are afraid of what God will ask us to give up if we submit to Him. The things we like and enjoy. What we forget is that every second, every breath is a gift from Him and He willingly fills us up with more than we could ever imagine. If I give up certain things that bring me enjoyment, will He give what will bring me more joy? Of course He will, it just doesn't always look like what we would like it to look like.

So, I talk to myself, pause to pray one more time, and ask God to empty me of me and slowly pry each finger off the ledge, knowing He's waiting to catch me in His everlasting arms of love.

Fear of Abandonment

It's quite funny what God will do when you open yourself up. I've never been a fearful person. It's not part of my nature and I wasn't taught to be fearful. I'm more one of those people who jump head first into things, figuring that everything will work out.

Lately, however, God has been showing me my deep, hidden fears. They are less tangible than fears of some tragedy, injury, or disaster.

The first fear revealed was the fear that my ministry (i.e. speaking, writing, and getting published) would grow faster than my family was ready for. I am confident that my initial book hasn't sold yet because, at least in part, my family has not been ready for it. With my youngest child barely two, how in the world would I have been traveling and doing events on a regular basis before now? Life is busy and crazy as it is. While I know that God is in control of every detail - down to when and if I get published and where, when, and if I have a speaking ministry - I have to get it to my heart. If I have even the slightest concern about what affect my ministry growing will have on my family, then I'm not trusting that God is in control and has my and my family's best interest at heart. He has plans for each of us and all those plans somehow work out perfectly for all of us.

That doesn't mean that I don't step into things carefully and prayerfully. On the contrary, I could very easily try to finagle and work my way to a "successful" ministry. Then I would be out of bounds of God's will and protection and be neglecting my call, which is to first minister to my family. But neither do I want to hold back when God is coaxing me forward. I want to be abandoned completely to His will. I simply have to tell my heart to give up all of its own wants and desires, other than the single desire to be radically abandoned to the one and only Lord of my life.

A Mom's Set Free

Are ye so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh? Galatians 3:3

Last time I wrote, I was getting ready to go to what I knew would be a fantastic conference: She Speaks -a writers, speakers, and women’s ministry leaders conference. I’d been wanting to go to the conference for years and this year finally got the go ahead – from both God and my hubby.
Long before the time for the conference arrived, I got to know many (almost 300 were members) of the to-be attendees through the conference Facebook page. We shared anticipations, fears, prayer requests and an overall excitement about descending on Concord, NC all at the same time (with a total of 650 registered ladies and almost 100 staff and volunteers to run the conference!) There was no doubt in my mind that I would be blessed by my time there.
I was in no way, however, prepared for all that God would do. Throughout the weekend God blessed me with little gifts. A surprise roommate who was as warm, welcoming, and encouraging as I could ever ask for. Friends made, contacts received, networking going on, positive feedback from my publisher appointments (even if no closer to getting my nonfiction book published) and a fantastic speaker evaluation group experience. I was confident, prepared, and all around having a great time.

Then the Saturday worship session came along. We were blessed to have Ann Voskamp, the author of One Thousand Gifts, as the speaker. Her stories touched hearts, moved people, and made you think. Then something totally unexpected happened, something I was completely unprepared for. God used the words of Ann, along with my own words and scriptures I’d used in my speaker evaluation talks, to reach down deeper into my soul than I knew existed. He grabbed hold of hurts and false beliefs I thought I’d gotten rid of a long time ago, pulled them up to the surface, let me feel them, and then healed them. Yes, I was one of those snot-slinging, tear-wracked women in the prayer room. Sometimes that’s what happens when God reaches down deep and changes you.

One thing that I came out of that prayer room with was a sense that instead of knowing God’s truths (that I had myself quoted and talked about) only in my head, I now have them firmly planted in my heart. I also came away with knowing that while I’m a fairly transparent person, it’s only of those things on the surface, those things that don’t truly make me vulnerable.
But do I really want to show the real me, God? Isn’t it too ugly, too dark, too odd? No, He whispers. You are real and you who I made you and are becoming the person I desire you to be.
So as I take a deep breath, I vow to give up everything to God. Even my short-comings. My pride. My belief that I have to do everything perfectly. My belief that I have to earn love. My belief that without working at it, I deserve nothing, not even God’s love. My willingness to only allow the surface stuff to show.

I am grateful for all the little gifts God gave me, but am blown away by the biggest gift of all: freedom. Freedom from the bondage of my own false beliefs and the idea that I at least have to attempt to do everything perfectly. Freedom to truly trust in and rely on God. That He’s in control and I simply have to submit. Freedom to let these truths travel from my head to my heart and let God do the work in me that I know is yet to be done. Freedom to live – in Him, through Him, and for Him.

Today I’m grateful for: the sound of sealing jars, healing from yesterday’s migraine, today’s journey to my first mission trip, God’s word at my fingertips – and everything listed above!

When God Says "No"

Do you ever wish that you could have every wish that you had? I think our tendency is to want what we want and focus on that and only that. At least, I know mine is. Even in fantasy books/stories the need to limit wishes is recognized. Even when a genie or good wishing fairy is present, the receipient of the wishes only gets three. Boy, if I only had three wishes to make in life, what would they be?

Big question. But, I don't have to come up with an answer. That's because my God is bigger than that and He loves me enough not to limit what I can ask Him for or what He's willing to give me. But, He's also wise enough not to give me everything that I wish or want.

Such is the case in relation to my recent post about the She Speaks Conference scholarship. I knew from the beginning that if I didn't get one, there would be a reason. And one of those reasons was that someone else deserved it more. I read the winning entries (okay, I browsed them), and it was true. They wholly and completely deserved to win.

I also knew that if God didn't provide the means that way, He would another way. Lysa TerKeurst even said so in her winning post entry. That to give all entrants a scholarship, no matter how much she wanted to or thought more entrants deserved it, would be to rob them of other blessings. And how true that is!

I didn't get the scholarship, but did register. I am looking forward to this conference almost as much as my own conference, Abundant Life Conference for Women November 2011. The workshops look so good, I had a hard time picking my favorite in a couple time slots.

So now, I'm registered. And the blessings have already started. My two biggest encourages have gone all in to help me attend this conference. Just the sentiment is worth me not getting the scholarship.

So, did God say "no" because I don't deserve it, someone else deserves it more, He wants to bless me in other ways, or He knows how to work everything out for the utmost good of both me and others and bring the greatest glory to Himself?

I'll take the last three. My experience tells me that whenever God tells me "no" it's for my own good and often what I get instead is better.

So, just like when we say "no" to our children to protect them or hold out for something better, when God says "no" there is always a greater purpose.

Weary Moms

Do you ever get weary? Check out Moms for God for my latest post on dealing with weariness.

Living a Balanced Life

Reasons we get out of balance:

The need for balance: The “have it all, do it all, be it all” myth.
Endless opportunities
The devil is a master of distraction

How to get back in balance:
1 – Intentionally live out your priorities
· Use the right source and standard (God’s word)
· Don’t buy into “I’m only a mom”
· Look at how your resources are spent (time, money, energy, thoughts)

2 – Pray about how to spend your priorities (daily)
· If we’re constantly seeking and following God’s will, He will bless whatever we do
· P.S. that doesn’t mean it will be easy

3—Plan
· schedule your days, weeks, months
· handwritten lists, calendars, phones
· don’t work for your plan/schedule/routine, it’s to work for you
· routine is good, but so is flexibility
4 – Don’t strive for perfection, but for excellence
· staying in balance means letting some things go

5 – Maintain relationships with other people
· when we put God first and keep our priorities in order, He fills us with His peace, patience, and love for others
· relationships are meant to less us as we give and take (make sure relationships are healthy)
· Two are better than one, if one falls down, the other can help him up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

6 – Have a proper perspective
· Balance isn’t just about what we have going on. It’s also about how we look at and feel about what’s going on.
· We all have stressful and/or “down” times, but if we focus on them, we miss out on the precious, rewarding times
· If you know how to worry, you know how to meditate

7 – Give yourself permission to say “no”
· Too often, we get our identity from what we do.
· It’s hard to say no when it’s a good thing, something we enjoy, or something that will make us look good, but if it puts us out of balance, it’s most likely not something God’s called us to do

8 – Purge “have to” from your vocabulary
· “have to” means an obligation and brings with it a sense of burden
· “I’m going to…because…” improves your mood, increases motivation, and give you a better attitude
· Do everything as unto the Lord. Colossians 3:23

9 – Remember to play
· Moms have a lot of responsibilities and often forget to have fun
· It will improve your relationships with your husband, children and friends
· It will also improve your health

10 – Pause when you experience “those days” = Feeling overwhelmed, Overly emotional, Lashing out, Stressed

· Acknowledge where you’ve gotten off course
o Not trusting God
o Taken on too many responsibilities
o Not asking for help when you need it
o Not spending time with God
o Neglecting Godly friendships
o Wasting time
o Not taking care of yourself
o Focusing on the negatives
o Ect.
· Admit it to God
· Accept His forgiveness
· Allow yourself to let go: of the guilt and disappointment
· Agree with what God says about you as a redeemed child of His – the King of kings
· Ask God, “what next, what today” on your journey of becoming who He created you to be

11 - Pray

Merry Christmas to All Moms

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise the child, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he was conceived.

Luke 2:1-21

Joy in Christmas

Life is busy. And then the holidays start. And life gets busier. Christmas is supposed to be a time of celebration and enjoyment, remembering the birth of Jesus and spending time with family. But often times, the extra stuff - shopping, cards, wrapping, parties, etc. - adds more stress than enjoyment to life.

If this is the case for you, I recommend stopping to catch your breath. These moments are few and far between and won't happen on their own. They have to be sought after and grabbed hold of. These are the moments you do nothing but squeeze, tickle, and play with your child. These are the moments you set aside to take your older child out shopping or for a "date." These are the moments you make cookies simply to spend time in the kitchen together. These are the moments you sit and watch a classic Christmas movie from beginning to end. These are the moments you chase the millions of things you have left to do from your mind and actually enjoy the Christmas musical at church.

We often let the extra expectations of us ruin our holiday season. Are we going to buy something that everyone likes? Did I wrap it just right? Did I forget to send a card to someone? Am I going to offend someone if I don't make it to their party? But, these are not the things Christmas is about. They are fun, or at least they are meant to be, but when they become the pull of Christmas, things have gotten out of order.

In order to find joy in Christmas, Christ has to be put first and mas has to be secondary. Otherwise, you have the proverbial cart before the horse, which will steal your joy. According to one source, mas means festival. We have lots of festivities during the Christmas season, but they tend to take over and take our focus off celebrating the birth of Jesus, the Christ child. Whenever you're not experiencing joy (during the holidays or any time of year), intentionally put your focus back on Jesus and He will give you joy.

Take time to play Christmas music, read different versions of the Christmas story, share what you're thankful for about this time of year, etc. Grab hold of the joy freely given us and go along for the ride of a lifetime!

Top Secret Key to Successful Marriage

I will not make rule number five that marriage takes God. I believe that the best, healthiest marriages are based on a solid foundation in God. I believe that the best way to grow in your marriage is to grow in your relationship with God. But if I were to say that I’ve never seen two people enjoy marriage for a lifetime without God being a part of their lives, we would all know that it was untrue. If I were to say that all marriages where both people are believers are happy and successful, we would also know that this is untrue. I never want to diminish the impact that God can have on our marriage, but as with everything, I want to be honest. God has certain rules for living and those rules apply to everyone. This includes the rules, or principles, for relationships. If we work at it, have the proper perspective, enjoy it, and commit to it, it will succeed almost every time. What God can add to a marriage is basically what he can add to an individual’s life. We can do a fairly good job of filling the God-shaped hole in our lives and in our marriages, but true joy and fulfillment – individually and in our marriage – will only come with Christ as our Savior and Lord.

Working on, having the proper perspective about, being committed to, communicating effectively, being flexible, forgiving, and having fun in your marriage are the pieces of the healthy marriage puzzle. Making God first in your life and submitting yourself and your marriage to Him is the frame which enhances the puzzle and makes it a masterpiece.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

Rules of a Healthy Marriage VII

The final “rule” for a healthy marriage is fun. Even though at first having fun may sound easier than the previous rules, it is often just as difficult to maintain. Life gets busy and things happen between two people that distract them from each other and their relationship. Therefore, fun often gets forgotten.

Chances are when you first dated your husband, you had a lot of fun together. Your relationship most likely focused on getting to know each other and having fun together. Even after the wedding takes place the fun tends to continue, at least for a while. However, as life adds responsibilities, stress and tension increase also. As stress and tension build, the distance between husband and wife tends to increase. So, even if you work on your marriage, make the effort to keep a proper perspective, and have made a solid commitment to your husband, if you don’t ever have fun together you’ll be more like partners of a business venture rather than partners a loving marriage.

I don’t know about you, but I desire so much more from my husband than just someone to go through life experiences and share child-rearing with. I want a partner, friend, lover, and companion. Life is not near as care free as when my husband and I were dating, and therefore we must be intentional about having fun together. Some of that fun is as parents. We do fun things at home and away from home with our children. We have fun together as a family. But we also have fun together as a couple. Sometimes this means staying up late to watch a movie after the kids go to bed. Sometimes it means sitting on the front porch alone while the kids watch a movie or are playing nicely. Sometimes it means recruiting a babysitter to go out to dinner. Sometimes it means lying in bed just holding hands and sharing what’s been going on lately. Many couples we know take a few days each year for an adult vacation. Others send the kids to the grandparents’ houses for a few days or weeks. Having fun doesn’t have to take a lot of money or time, but it generally takes a lot of planning and creativity. However, if having fun together becomes a priority in your marriage, it will become more natural. And the rewards will far outweigh any effort that is put into making time for fun.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

Great Christmas Book for Kids

The good books just keep on coming. This one is perfect as a Christmas present for the little ones in your life.

I'm always looking for Biblically based Christmas stories for my children. I am thrilled with Little Star by Anthony Destefano, as it gives a fresh and creative perspective on the birth of Jesus.

Tears came to my eyes when I came to the part of the story where the star gets it. "... Little Star was the only one to understand the king's message. His message was love." What a wonderful way to capture the purpose behind this once ever event.

A book to buy, read, and give away

As you can tell by now, I’m an avid reader and love sharing great books with others. Sometimes, I wish I could by 20 copies of a great book and hand them out at will. The most recent book put in my hands is one of those. It is “On This Day in Christian History” by Robert J. Morgan. This daily devotional is full of history briefs of saints, martyrs, and heroes. Some of them, you’ve probably heard of. Others will be completely new. All of the stories are interesting, encouraging, and inspiring. The book holds true to its promise.

If you ever doubt that God does amazing things with ordinary people, this book will convince you otherwise. These 365 stories, each highlighting a different individual who lived radically for God, are about ordinary people. It tells of people born in every type of circumstance and living during all time periods, dating back to the second century.

The key theme is that anyone can live a life that shines for God. The history that is included in the stories, how individuals fit into changes in the church, reformations, and missions, is an added bonus. This book is well written and the only problem is you won’t want to stop at reading one a day.

Children's Bible Review

Did you ever wish there was a Bible for your children that they could read on their own? Not one that is a paraphrase of a selection of stories, but one that is a translation specifically for them. I recently received the International Children's Bible - Big Red - with updated graphics. This Bible is perfect for my seven year old, who's beyond toddler Bibles but not quite ready for adult translations. The updated graphics aren't my favorite, because I don't like the new style of graphics, but they're done well and I can see that they'd attract little ones' eyes.

What if

My recent reading of Max Lucado's book OutLIVE Your LIfe has inspired me to ask some new questions of myself. Questions that would be good for all of us to ask. The main one is:

What can I do to make a difference?

In some ways, I've been asking these questions for a while now. I try to share life with others, giving in small ways. Passing on maternity clothes. Donating or consigning at reasonable prices children's clothes. Cooking a meal. Exchanging child care. While I think I have been obedient in serving those in my immediate circle (some days more than others), I am now being stretched to see how I can serve those that would cause me to step out of my comfort zone.

Many of us believe, say, and reinforce that we dont' have time? But is that true? How much time do we spend in front of the television? How much time to we spend surfing the net? How many activities do we sign our children up for? How often do we get together to have fun? We all have time, we choose how we spend it. We can choose to spend it differently.

What if

* We signed our child/ren up for one less activity and instead did some family volunteering each week/month?

*We gave up eating out once a week/month and donated that money to a feeding program for some of the millions of starving children in the world?

*We watered our lawn one less time a week and donated that money to a clean water well drilling program?

*We spent a "ladies night out" serving the poor a healthy meal?

*We used a family vacation to go on a mission trip instead of going to a theme park?

There are probably many other quetions we could as ourselves. Many other ways we can give. Won't giving to others teach our children all the things we wish to teach them? Isn't that what Jesus taught us?

What impact on our personal world and the world at large would we have if we decided to give a little more, and then followed through on it?

To Balance Me Out

My post last Friday was bluntly honest about one of my most frustrating faults - forgetfulness. As I was walking early in the morning (in the perfect 63 degrees late summer, early morning air), God brought something to my attention. Although I may be forgetful, He is not. He's never forgotten anyone. ANYONE. EVER.

That is a thought that I could sit and mediate on for a while. Instead, this morning, I walked and thought about it. God not only knows each of us, but He knows every hair on our head, our hearts, and our thoughts. And He still loves us. Still offers complete forgiveness for ever time we have sinned either by commission or ommission. He forgave me for forgetting my neighbor over 2000 years ago as His very own blood was flowing from the body He chose to put His Spirit in for 33 years.

He knew each mistake I was going to make before He ever called me to love Him, serve Him, and start my own ministry. He also knew that I would fight my flesh to become obedient to Him. And that's why I think He's allowed me all the priveleges He has.

So, as you look at yourself and those around you - how so very far short we fall from perfection - remember that there is a perfect, all-knowing, all-powerful God who loves You. Allow that information to help you gird up your garments and continue to run the race He has set before you, not growing weary in doing good.