Christians and Halloween

It's interesting to me that I've heard more discussion about Christians and Halloween in the last week than I have my entire life. I can honestly say that for the majority of my life, I never gave the holiday a second thought. Growing up, I dressed up (although I can't remember a single costume I wore) and trick-or-treated at the dozen houses in close enough proximity to do so. As an adult, I've attended costume parties (I do remember a few of those costumes), get-togethers, and handed out candy to neighborhood children. I'm not sure exactly when the change started, but sometime after becoming a parent myself, I began to look at it from a slightly different angle. I'm sure my maturing faith and growing closer and learning to be more heedful of God in my life played a role as well.

Still, I've never once considered completely giving up doing anything on Halloween. Both of the churches I've attended have done fall festivals - one on Halloween day, one not. The festivals focus on fellowship, fun, and food. In other words, your normal Baptist fare. Costumes are allowed, as long as they're not scary.

This year, however, I observed a passionate discussion between some Christians that began over one's opinion that Christians should absolutely, in no way shape or form, take part in Halloween or its celebrations. The main argument was that Halloween has deep roots in pagan rituals. It began as a pagan celebration that's been white-washed and adapted to the American commercial culture. We are in a spiritual war and participating in Halloween opens us up to spiritual attack from our enemy, the devil.

The counter, argued that in Romans 14 God clearly addresses how Christians are to respond to the world and pagan rituals. In discussing eating things offered to idols, the Word says to seek God and either eat or don't eat with a clear conscious. He never says don't eat. He also says that nothing in and of itself is unclean. That includes Halloween - nothing means nothing.

However, it also says not to put a stumbling block in another's path, a statement another fellow Christian made in a completely different discussion about Halloween I found myself in. So what does that mean for Christians?

It means to seek God. Keep the issue between you and Him. And be willing to give up whatever your ideas are about the holiday and its traditions. Whenever we begin to espouse our opinions and what God's lead us to do over love and edification of each other, we have missed the point.

Another comment made in the latter discussion is that we are to be light in the world. How do we do this in relation to Halloween? For some it's completely pulling out of anything to do with it. For others, it's offering alternatives. For our family it's taking part in something that is very cultural, but in a slightly different way.

We allow our kids to dress up, but nothing scary is allowed. We allow them to go trick-or-treating and see neighbors we don't normally see after the weather gets cold. We also hand out candy, each peace with a scripture stapled to it. These tiny pieces of paper are surely discarded as quickly as the wrapper, but curiosity almost ensures that it will at least be read by some. And who knows? Maybe this is the only time some children will ever hear the words of the one, true, and holy God. Maybe a parent is struggling, has lost their way, or has never heard the Word themselves, and that one sentence will make an impact. (God's word is powerful and accomplishes things on its own.)

In addition, we hand out cider and chili to the parents that are supervising trick-or-treating. I'll be honest to say a warm cup on a cold night has never began a conversation about God. But I regretfully admit I've never prayed that it would. That an unexpected door would be opened. From now on, however, I will. And maybe a heart will be softened and open to the gospel because of a small giving gesture.

This is how we choose to be light in world full of darkness and a holiday steeped in historical darkness.

In the end it doesn't matter for you what I do with Halloween. In the end, it matters if you're willing to submit completely to obedience to God and how He leads you to handle this holiday. We are not to quarrel over disputable matters. Halloween is not directly addressed in Scripture (although passages on other pagan rituals are there to guide us) and is not a make-it-or-break-it issue for salvation. That makes it a disputable matter. We shouldn't extract a few scriptures to back up our point of view either, but take scripture as a whole and with an openness to God about this, as well as about the other details in our lives. God might surprise us. He might confirm us. Most assuredly He will bring us together as one and bring glory to Himself.

Grateful or Grumpy

I thought about writing this post a week or so ago, but didn't get around to it. It's about how we have a choice each day and with each situation we face: to be grateful or grumpy.

I've written several times about reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts (I'm not going to tag it this time, you'll have to read my other posts to find the tag or look it up :) and the lessons I'm learning from it. How being grateful every day is essential in having a God-focused perspective. And I planned to write more about it. But apparently, God delayed me because He wanted me to write more about it when everything wasn't smooth and grand. He was waiting for me to hit today.

I'm in the 320's on my list of things I'm grateful to God for. And I've even started my two oldest children keeping a grateful journal. But today I'm struggling. Because everything is NOT going smoothly. Nothing major's happened, but you know, a bunch of small things can add up to make one grumpy momma.

The first thing is my computer. I told my hubby and asked him to transfer the info to our friend who's always worked on our computers that it's been shutting down. No response. Then on Monday it decided to completely shut down and not even attempt to boot up. Not a wonderful, fuzzy, warm feeling is induced when a writer, blogger, connect to the world through the computer momma's computer is dead. So, I've left it, cried out for help, and used any computer I can get my hands on to check email and check in on Facebook. Today I'm sitting at my in-laws blogging. Hopefully by Saturday all the appropriate parts and computer guy will converge onto my house and have me up and running again in no time.

Then, we started school today. Let's just say that my children are not adjusting well to having to sit down, pay attention, and do school work for several hours a day (even though it's only three hours broken up into four 45-minute sessions throughout the morning with plenty of breaks.) Whininess, bouncing around the classroom, and tears are not uplifting for a homeschooling momma. But we persisted.

Then (Oh, yes. there's more!), when I went to unload the washing machine and begin drying the first (of the only three loads I had scheduled today), I discovered that one of my children had left a dry pullup in their pajama pants. Now, do you know what happens to a pullup in a washing machine? I do. And it's not pretty. Billions - no, I'm not exaggerating, but I might be underestimating - of moisture soaking beads have a field day and attach themselves to EVERY piece of clothing in the load. And I don't wash 10 items at a time.

So, I spent the first two school breaks shaking out moisture soaking beads out of laundry, wiping them up off the dryer, floor, and carpet, and doing my best to get them out of the washer. Hoping, enough have gotten out and not found their way into the holes of the washing machine spinner to ruin it.

The load goes back in, minus pullup and billions of beads. On the next break, I throw the now-clean, bead-free clothes in the dryer. And turn it on. To be greeted by an awful sound. Promptly stopped, I open the dryer to too much heat created in one minute of running and I know. The lint catcher that I had just emptied really didn't have enough lint on it. It's a top-loading lint catcher and it must have released the other 3/4 of built up lint below the lint catcher where I cannot reach. and it's clogged something and threatened to catch fire. Which is why we replaced our 10 year old dryer last year.

I diligently pull out the dryer, unplug it, and examine the thing. Nope. Not touching it. Guess what's greeting my darling husband when he gets home from work today? At least today isn't scheduled to be a 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. workday like he's worked so frequently in the last two months.

So, on a day like today, I still have a choice: grateful or grumpy. To be grumpy would be easy. To vent, eat away my frustrations, lock myself in my room. Yell at the whiney, not-using-potty-like-she-knows-how, aggrivating each other children. It would be so easy. But then there's the list. The list I add several more things on today, even though it's a struggle to.

rain
tomatoes off the vine
hubby returning a message from work
sleeping in after a restless night
staying on schedule for our first day of school
plenty of clothes to wear
playing a game with my two oldest
watching my two youngest entertain and be sweet to each other

These are the things I choose to focus on. Even when it's hard. And I'm able to let go of the small ways Satan tries to attack, tries to get me off course, tries to tell me God doesn't care. But I know He does, and I'll hold onto that.

Fear of Abandonment

It's quite funny what God will do when you open yourself up. I've never been a fearful person. It's not part of my nature and I wasn't taught to be fearful. I'm more one of those people who jump head first into things, figuring that everything will work out.

Lately, however, God has been showing me my deep, hidden fears. They are less tangible than fears of some tragedy, injury, or disaster.

The first fear revealed was the fear that my ministry (i.e. speaking, writing, and getting published) would grow faster than my family was ready for. I am confident that my initial book hasn't sold yet because, at least in part, my family has not been ready for it. With my youngest child barely two, how in the world would I have been traveling and doing events on a regular basis before now? Life is busy and crazy as it is. While I know that God is in control of every detail - down to when and if I get published and where, when, and if I have a speaking ministry - I have to get it to my heart. If I have even the slightest concern about what affect my ministry growing will have on my family, then I'm not trusting that God is in control and has my and my family's best interest at heart. He has plans for each of us and all those plans somehow work out perfectly for all of us.

That doesn't mean that I don't step into things carefully and prayerfully. On the contrary, I could very easily try to finagle and work my way to a "successful" ministry. Then I would be out of bounds of God's will and protection and be neglecting my call, which is to first minister to my family. But neither do I want to hold back when God is coaxing me forward. I want to be abandoned completely to His will. I simply have to tell my heart to give up all of its own wants and desires, other than the single desire to be radically abandoned to the one and only Lord of my life.

Hormonal Love Affair

Don't you just love hormones? It is truly a challenge that women alone face. It is unique to our life experience. And it's one that we share, but yet each travel alone as well.

I particularly loved that as I came off a very busy December and Christmas week, slipped into a slump the first week of New Year's as I tried to reclaim order in my house, that the following week was my "hormonal" week. Instead of bouncing back after working hard to get my house in order and getting back into our routine (kind of), I slipped into a further slump. One check at the calendar told me, "Oh. That's what's going on." And I cursed hormones.

But as that week slips away and my hormones go through another shift, this time on the upswing, I'm not feeling so bad about them. As a matter of fact, I kind of like them.

And thus, goes the love/hate relationship I have with hormones. As I become more aware of them, I can work against them when they drag me down and work with them when they lift me up. I know to do what needs to be done, regardless of how I feel. I also know that sometimes a day of nothing but feeding the children and reading a good book and drinking good decaf coffee (yes, I know that's an oxymoron to some) is helpful on getting me back on track the next day.

They're not going away, but I am learning to lead my actions not based on how I feel, mostly due to my hormones, but instead to drag them along for the journey (after that cup of decaf and good book.)

Eating Humble Pie

I had a big dose of humble pie the other day. It was a reminder to be careful in everything I do.

So, I woke up early Sunday morning, exercised, did some work on the computer and thought I had plenty of time to get ready and wake everyone up for church when I stepped into the shower at 7:30. But, for some unknown reason, when I got out fifteen minutes later, we were short on time. In one hour, we needed to get two little ones bathed and dressed, my husband had to take a shower, and everyone had to eat. With fifteen minutes until my desired departure time, I walk down the stairs to find my hubby on the couch snuggling with a couple of children. I was not happy.

I push everyone through breakfast, gather everyone's shoes, and herd them out the door, ten minutes late. "What can I do to prevent us from being late?" I asked hubby on the ride.

We park and I head in to the sanctuary with the oldest two, while he gets the younger set to take to nursery. We walk in - and no one's in the sanctuary except the praise band. Confused, I check my watch, then the clock on the wall. Sure enough, it's 9:15. I walk down the hallway and see a lady I know. "Where is everyone?"

"They don't finish until 9:30," she replies.

My heart drops. We used to start church at 9:15. Now we start at 9:45. I catch my hubby on the way to nursery and open wide for my extra-large slice of humble pie.

And I learned to be more cautious and more aware of how I handle things. Had I slowed down once, I might have realized I was off course. Pestering everyone and being grumpy didn't get anyone out of the house any quicker. And all this on the 2nd day of the year.

So, one of my goals is to not eat any more humble pie. I'm sure I'll make more mistakes, but hopefully they'll be smaller and I'll catch them much sooner.

Out LIVE Your Life

Sometimes God makes things as clear as the full moon on a cloudless night. Lately, I feel like that's what He's been doing. In several different ways, He has been whispering to me to look to the possibilities of what I can do instead of my limitations as a homeschooling mom of four under 8. There are a lot of things I don't do - including go to the grocery store very often. I can do it, I prefer not to.

However, through two different books, one fiction and one nonfiction, a personal experience, and a special speaker at our church, God has been calling me out of my box that I've firmly planted around me and my children.

Now, there are things I shouldn't do. It wouldn't be wise to try to do every conference, girl's night, and fun opportunity that comes along. Nor would it be wise to be in a different homeschooling group every day of the week. These are good boundaries to have. I don't need to limit myself in what I can do for other people, though.

In reading Max Lucado's newest book - OutLIVE Your Life - I was deeply enouraged to ask what difference I can make on a daily basis. One of the final statements sums it up: "None of us can help everyone. But all of us can help someone." Using personal stories and scripture in a way that it becomes relevent to everyday life, Lucado lays the foundation for a life that will be dynamic and full of love. He does so in a way that is entertaining, heartfelt and God-focused. This is definitely a five-gold-star book!

Get it, read it, then live it. You'll be amazed how God will use you. What He will make of your life. I'm excited to see what He does as I strive to be obedient and make the difference He made me to make.

To Balance Me Out

My post last Friday was bluntly honest about one of my most frustrating faults - forgetfulness. As I was walking early in the morning (in the perfect 63 degrees late summer, early morning air), God brought something to my attention. Although I may be forgetful, He is not. He's never forgotten anyone. ANYONE. EVER.

That is a thought that I could sit and mediate on for a while. Instead, this morning, I walked and thought about it. God not only knows each of us, but He knows every hair on our head, our hearts, and our thoughts. And He still loves us. Still offers complete forgiveness for ever time we have sinned either by commission or ommission. He forgave me for forgetting my neighbor over 2000 years ago as His very own blood was flowing from the body He chose to put His Spirit in for 33 years.

He knew each mistake I was going to make before He ever called me to love Him, serve Him, and start my own ministry. He also knew that I would fight my flesh to become obedient to Him. And that's why I think He's allowed me all the priveleges He has.

So, as you look at yourself and those around you - how so very far short we fall from perfection - remember that there is a perfect, all-knowing, all-powerful God who loves You. Allow that information to help you gird up your garments and continue to run the race He has set before you, not growing weary in doing good.

Mommy Brain

Do you suffer from Mommy Brain? You know - forgetting things constantly. Walking from one room to the other and forgetting what you came in there for. Forgetting that you put a child in time out.

This morning I walked into the kitchen and found a container of pasta that I'd left out on the counter last night. 'Oh, well,' I thought. 'Now it's not tempting me anymore.' Earlier this week I forgot a person. A person! I was supposed to give a neighbor a ride home from church Wednesday night, got distracted in the search for a missing passy and transferring a friend's car seats to her car and didn't remember until I passed her house - a full fifteen minutes later!

How could I forget a person??? My husband laughed. My neighbor forgave me. I am trying to stop beating myself up. In order to help, I'm looking at what I can do to help my poor over-exercised brain.

Have any suggestions??

One thing, I'm going to try to go back to writing everything down. The old adage is true: hear it - remember 10%, say it - remember 30%, write it, remember 70%, practice it - remember 90%. In order to do this, I must pay more attention to what I'm doing.

As a mom, I'm used to multi-tasking. When I'm listening to praise music, cooking, answering a multitude of questions or folding laundry, watching a movie, and trying to get in my water for the day, multi-tasking can be good. But, in many instances, it simply means I'm not paying as close attention to what I'm doing as I should. e.g. Talking on the phone and checking email at the same time is not productive. I miss half of both.

So, I will go back to making lists and try to be more aware of what's going on. I'd be more than happy to hear any other suggestions that have helped other moms suffering from Mommy Brain!

Choosing to Smile

I thought when I left adolescence behind, that I would also be leaving blemishes behind. Blemishes. You know, zits. I wasn't plagued greatly with them when I was a teenager, but I thought that they were isolated to that time in my life. Now that I'm in my mid-thirties I have decided to accept the fact that they are here to stay. I'm still not plagued greatly with them, but as far as I'm concerned, one is too many. I never thought God would use a silly little zit to reinforce a life lesson.

I have one of those pesky little critters right now and did my best to use coverup and foundation to, well, cover it up, for work yesterday. To my surprise, a volunteer came in and commented on how clear my skin was. "If only you knew," I thought. Also, she was on the other side when she walked in. But later I discovered why she might have missed what to me was a glaring imperfection on my face. I had smiled a greeting to her when she came in. Looking in a mirror a while later, I noticed that the offender was in a spot where it was hidden when I smiled. Which made me smile all the more. Oh, how our God is unique and wise and humorous!

The life lesson He reinforced is this: no matter what's going on, a smile can cover it up. That doesn't mean that we aren't real and we don't share our struggles and disappointments with others, but it means that we don't dwell on them. When things are exactly how we wish them to be, we can still choose to be positive, trust God, and focus on the good things. When we do so, the blemishes of life often disappear, or simply don't make as much of an impact on our lives.

Uprooting the Weeds of Life

So, how do we get rid of those weeds? Those hurts and scars that we carry with us from a variety of experiences. First, we shouldn't try to get rid of them all at once. When I'm gardening and try to grab a handful of weeds to pull up, it is much more difficult. I use less effort overall pulling one or two weeds at a time. There are some that are not as well rooted that I can grab a handful of, but then there are those I have to work on individually. Knowing the difference will be helpful as you tackle emotional weeds.

As a counselor, I believe in the benefit of going to a counselor for guidance and assistance in dealing with some things. Especially the more deeply rooted items. In my garden, I use a tool to help with the stubborn weeds, and the same can be done in life. But, also as a counselor, I recognize that all counselors are not equal and recommend only using one who comes from a Biblical-worldview. They will guide you to healing through God's grace, mercy, love, and forgiveness. Many others will try to convince you that healing comes from getting better at getting your needs met.

I also know that many people aren't comfortable with or in a position to go to counseling. You can still heal and get rid of the weeds. You simply have to be willing to do the work.

The first step is to look around at anything that may be perpetuating the weeds. Are there relationships that encourage their growth? What thought patterns nurture them? What behaviors keep them around? You don't want to abandon good friends and you most certainly don't want to dissolve your marriage, breaking vows that are meant to be for a lifetime, but you want to surround yourself with people who will offer Godly encouragement and wisdom. They don't even necessarily have to know what your dealing with. If you have them in your life, and God has something to say through them, it will happen.

Next, thought patterns are to be tackled. What and how we think affects what we do and how we relate to people. You may not be able to recognize negative or harmful thought patterns, especially if they've been around a long time. However, as you delve into the Bible, God will begin to plant seeds of His Word that will produce fruit in your life. The Word and prayer (simply communicating with God) are an unstoppable power to transform life.

As your thoughts change, so will your actions. You will no longer set yourself up for failure. You will no longer sabotage relationships. You will no longer let the weeds of your past rise up and choke the vegetable- and fruit-bearing things of your life. (Yes, we are to be fruitful, but vegetables are important produce, too.)

While I just went through the Reader's Digest version in a few paragraphs, this is an on-going process. The work you have to do will depend on the amount, size, and depth of the weeds in your life. It may look like too much as you survey the landscape, but by pulling one weed at a time, you will change the looks of it for good.

Scripture Discussion

This is my response to a discussion on a friend's facebook page on the following verse.

And the serpent said to the woman, you shall not surely die, for God knows that in the day you eat of it, your eyes shall be opened, and you shall be as God, knowing good and evil. Genesis 3: 4-5

Not having the benefit of the previous discussion, you may wonder about why I jump from one issue to the next. Please question me or ask for clarification on anything that doesn't make sense. I'm sharing this because it hits to the most important thing in life: Do you or do you not believe God?

"Thinking Eden was dull means you've most likely never enjoyed the experience of the Holy Spirit. There is nothing to compare it to. And to say that we are more complete because of sin is very humanistic thinking. God created us in His image to enjoy fellowship with Him. Did He know that we would be disobedient? Yes. Would we choose to still have children if we know their going to be disobedient? Yes. Because the love and fellowship we experience with them is worth it.

"Also, life is much more exciting living in obedience to God. I might find temporary enjoyment in disobedience, but there are always negative consequences. When I choose obedience, God brings blessings and opportunities to my life that I could never have hoped, dreamt, or thought. I've lived both a consiously sinful life and a life working every day to be more obedient to God, and the ride is much more thrilling in the obedient life. God doesn't give us rules or consequences because He's angry or thinks it will help us understand His love more, He does it because it's in our best interest.

"God did not NEED to send His son to die for us, He chose to. We mean that much to Him. And the physical death wasn't the main sacrifice. The main sacrifice was being separated from God the Father and all His glory, experiencing the weight of every sin ever committed (past, present, and future.) The resurrection is the point of reconciliation. The death means nothing without it. He didn't just die, He overcame death. There were no Christians before Jesus. He is the Christ, the Messiah, the promised, annointed One. Before that there were Jews (children and believers in God) and Gentiles (non-believers.) The period of history before Jesus was to teach us that we cannot do anything on our own to earn reconciliation with God. Throughout the Old Testament, there is example after example of God calling His people to faith in Him. It was always believing in Him and what He said that was (and is) the basis for a relationship that will last into eternity. Jesus came to show us God’s love and make tangible the opportunity to love Him back.

"What this verse says to me: The devil is a liar, humans are selfish and proud, God puts boundaries around us to protect us, and I wish I’d never had to see the evil I’ve seen in my short life."

What about you? Do you believe in Him? Do you believe Him (that what He says, everything He says, is true)? Was sin necessary for us to appreciate God's love? Does God really want us to be obedient?

The Mouth!

Does your mouth ever get you in trouble? Do you open your mouth? Chances are, the more you open your mouth, the more likely it is to get you in trouble. I open my mouth a lot! However, it doesn't get me in trouble as much as it used to.

I was recently reminded that my mouth still has the power to get me in trouble. The answer to why it doesn't get me in trouble as much as it used to as well as how I should deal with my most recent verbal sins (I looked for a different word, but none came, because if what we do or say is against God's commandments, it's sin - plain and simple) is the same. That answer is to look into my heart. I must confess my transgression to my God - which I've learned to do more quickly - I must examine my heart and ask God to wipe it clean and fill it with His word and love, and I must let it go.

I have a tendency to play things over and over in my mind. Where did it go wrong? What should I have said? What will I (hopefully) do if I'm faced with a similar situation. I've learned that this is not helpful, and worse, is most likely the fruit of the devil. He wants me to condemn myself and feel guilty for as long as possible. God wants me to confess, lay it at His feet, and let it go.

As I process where I am with my mouth, how far I've come with my mouth, and where I still have to go, I turned to the best place to go for advice on anything - the Bible. I did a quick search on "mouth" [at http://www.biblegateway.com/]. I was expecting to find several verses referencing the mouth. I was not expecting to find over 300 references! God made it very clear that I need to turn to His word more. Especially on things that I'm trying to give up to Him to change in me.

I took a sampling of those verses that are related to where I am with my mouth. The first: show the ability of our mouths to damage others and it's connection to the heart.

Psalm 5:9aNot a word from their mouth can be trusted; their heart is filled with destruction.
Psalm 17:10They close up their callous hearts, and their mouths speak with arrogance.
Matthew 15:18But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.'

Second: what we should be doing with our mouths.

Psalm 37:30The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just.
Psalm 71:8My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long.
Job 16:5But my mouth would encourage you; comfort from my lips would bring you relief.

Third: the importance of taking our words to God and asking Him (and others) to pray that we use our mouths and words for Him.

Psalm 19:14May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Ephesians 4:29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 6:19Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,

I could expound on these verses, but they speak for themselves. Our mouths are important! We need to be conscious of what comes out of them, how those things affect others, and go to God to make changes. As God's people, we are accountable to our mouths, "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." (Matthew 12:34)

Mommy Feelings

So, what do feelings have to do with being a mom? First, we are a person. A woman. A daughter. A sister. An aunt. A wife. A friend. Our feelings affect each of these relationships, and our emotional and spiritual well-being. When we follow our willy-nilly feelings, we often experience destruction, devestation, and heartache in our relationships. I know from personal experience how damaging this can be to one's daily functioning. If I'm making "heart-felt" decisions that are not in line with God's Word and plan for me, I will decrease my ability to be healthy and function to my utmost each day.

If that doesn't affect your ability to be a mom, I don't know what will.

Our children have been put in our care and it is scary the damage we can do to them. As a counselor and observer of human behavior, I've seen many a parent led astray by their feelings. I have also experienced it. With all that I know, I still make the parenting mistakes of letting my feelings lead my parenting decisions. I'll never forget the red-hot burning I felt the first time one of my children out-right defied me to my face.

Whenever I discipline out of anger, no matter what the discipline is, I have guilt afterwards. Even if all I do is yell, I am shamed. I am constantly telling my children to use their self-controlled voice, but what kind of example am I being when I lose control and yell at them?

If I were to decide that no, today I don't feel like being a mom, my children would be the ones to suffer. And I do feel that way sometimes. I will take time off cleaning, or laundry, or cooking, but the direct mothering, gracefully, I understand the importance of and never take a day off (even when I'm not with my children, my heart is connected to them.) These are the days I have to pull myself up by the bootstraps and just do it. Whether I feel like it or not. And without exception, I'm rewarded at the end of the day with hugs and kisses!

I am learning, step by step, to seek God's wisdom in how I parent. This includes guarding my heart from selfishness, laziness, and self-righteousness. These things will lead to destruction in my relationship with my children, and possibly even in their lives in the way they make decisions. I know as I get closer to the Ultimate Parent, I will become a better parent - and will get to enjoy more of the God-given feelings of a healthy relationship with my children. My feeling of love is always there (though stronger at times) - but I know that true love is not feeling it or saying it, but showing my children (and others) that I love them by what I do for them, sometimes even when I don't feel like it.

More on Feelings

While we can't trust our feelings, we can acknowledge them and have an impact on them. Another scripture we talked about this week in Bible study is: Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." One we didn't discuss, but I believe is as important is: Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Feelings are not bad. Often, feelings such as love, joy, peace, comfort are a gift from God. Any feeling that is in line with His Spirit is a gift. It's the feelings that don't line up with God's Word and Spirit that are untrustworthy: laziness, discontent, unrighteous anger, jealousy, immediate pleasure from sin, etc.

The devil knows that he can influence us by our feelings. Why do you think he has such a stronghold on so many people through depression and doing what "feels good?" Because he knows both of these lead to destruction and away from God. He can't steal us from God, but he can make us powerless for God.

But God provides the answer. He tells us to guard our hearts. To do this, we need to check our feelings against what we know He would have us do. We need to know what His Word says about the actions that those feelings would lead us to do. We need to ask Him to strengthen us against sinful feelings and sinful actions (or, sometimes lack of actions) that come from benign feelings.

Philippians 4:7 talks about the peace of God guarding our hearts. However, this is not automatic. Just as we as parents want our children to come to us, God wants us to come to Him. Philippians 4:6 says: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." God wants us to bring EVERYTHING to Him.

What I am learning, step by step, is to give up my self will for His will. Every time, things turn out better for me when I give up my right to myself and follow Him. You'd think I'd learn to do it all the time, but my old nature keeps trying to crop up and lead me. My prayer is that I will grow closer and closer to God, walking with Him in everything I do. Then, my life will be abundantly more than I could hope, think, or ask - even more so than it already is.

What to do?

Ever had a bad day? An emotional day? A hormonal day? Ever done something because you felt like it, only to drown in regret and guilt later? When we renew ourselves daily in God's Word, we will create a mind-set and have strength to draw on that will help us do the right thing, rather than just what we feel like.

"Temptations come and we either cave in because we're in the mood to sin or we quick-draw from a mind-set that is stronger than our our mood." - Beth Moore (Esther Bible Study, p.62)