Are ye so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh? Galatians 3:3
Last time I wrote, I was getting ready to go to what I knew would be a fantastic conference: She Speaks -a writers, speakers, and women’s ministry leaders conference. I’d been wanting to go to the conference for years and this year finally got the go ahead – from both God and my hubby.
Long before the time for the conference arrived, I got to know many (almost 300 were members) of the to-be attendees through the conference Facebook page. We shared anticipations, fears, prayer requests and an overall excitement about descending on Concord, NC all at the same time (with a total of 650 registered ladies and almost 100 staff and volunteers to run the conference!) There was no doubt in my mind that I would be blessed by my time there.
I was in no way, however, prepared for all that God would do. Throughout the weekend God blessed me with little gifts. A surprise roommate who was as warm, welcoming, and encouraging as I could ever ask for. Friends made, contacts received, networking going on, positive feedback from my publisher appointments (even if no closer to getting my nonfiction book published) and a fantastic speaker evaluation group experience. I was confident, prepared, and all around having a great time.
Then the Saturday worship session came along. We were blessed to have Ann Voskamp, the author of One Thousand Gifts, as the speaker. Her stories touched hearts, moved people, and made you think. Then something totally unexpected happened, something I was completely unprepared for. God used the words of Ann, along with my own words and scriptures I’d used in my speaker evaluation talks, to reach down deeper into my soul than I knew existed. He grabbed hold of hurts and false beliefs I thought I’d gotten rid of a long time ago, pulled them up to the surface, let me feel them, and then healed them. Yes, I was one of those snot-slinging, tear-wracked women in the prayer room. Sometimes that’s what happens when God reaches down deep and changes you.
One thing that I came out of that prayer room with was a sense that instead of knowing God’s truths (that I had myself quoted and talked about) only in my head, I now have them firmly planted in my heart. I also came away with knowing that while I’m a fairly transparent person, it’s only of those things on the surface, those things that don’t truly make me vulnerable.
But do I really want to show the real me, God? Isn’t it too ugly, too dark, too odd? No, He whispers. You are real and you who I made you and are becoming the person I desire you to be.
So as I take a deep breath, I vow to give up everything to God. Even my short-comings. My pride. My belief that I have to do everything perfectly. My belief that I have to earn love. My belief that without working at it, I deserve nothing, not even God’s love. My willingness to only allow the surface stuff to show.
I am grateful for all the little gifts God gave me, but am blown away by the biggest gift of all: freedom. Freedom from the bondage of my own false beliefs and the idea that I at least have to attempt to do everything perfectly. Freedom to truly trust in and rely on God. That He’s in control and I simply have to submit. Freedom to let these truths travel from my head to my heart and let God do the work in me that I know is yet to be done. Freedom to live – in Him, through Him, and for Him.
Today I’m grateful for: the sound of sealing jars, healing from yesterday’s migraine, today’s journey to my first mission trip, God’s word at my fingertips – and everything listed above!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
A Mom's Crazy Life
Okay, so Wow! It's really been almost a month since I've been on here. I knew it had been a while, but didn't realize it had been quite that long. July was packed long before it got here, but goodness, couldn't I have taken a few minutes to check in?
Then I review everything that I've been doing. We'll start with parenting four beautiful children under 9. Then we'll go to gardening, taking care of the home, and trying to catch a few minutes with hubby here and there. Those are the regular things. Oh, and writing!
Then we add in everything else, family in town for July 4 weekend, going to Northern Virginia with the kids for a week and visiting friends (we had a whirlwind trip, staying in 3 different houses in 5 nights!) and preparing for the fabulous She Speaks Conference, which starts in 3 days.
I had no idea how much preparation there would be. But I'm the crazy person who's doing a split track and so has to prepare two speeches for evaluation (done!) and get my book proposal ready (haven't looked at it in almost 2 years and am doing some revisions, over half-way there!) There is also finding "business casual clothes" that I as a stay-at-home mommy doesn't have (thanks to my good friend and mom, I'm all set!), getting my business cards ready, doing a one-sheet (which my faithful friend's son who is a design-stuff-on-the-computer-genius helped me with), and printing off directions and coordinating with my travelling partner. And, just for grins and giggles, I had 8 kids at my house yesterday and am squeezing in a cut and color tomorrow (which another fabulous friend is doing for FREE in exchange for me rolling her hair for a perm.)
So, life is busy. And God has blessed me throughout. He's continuing to teach me to prioritize, make sure I spend time with Him so that I don't lose focus (or my sanity), and to pray for those who are hurting around me.
I'll ask your forgiveness for not being more consistent in meeting you here, but you probably understand. Sometimes, we live day-by-day and minute-by-minute and are so busy enjoying the wonderful gifts God has given us (especially the gift of His peace amidst the craziness swirling around us) that we don't check in.
And that's not always a bad thing.
But I do hope to check in more often and be able to share all the wonderful things God is teaching me through this process. The first of which, as is obvious in this post, is the blessing of godly, caring, generous family and friends!
Then I review everything that I've been doing. We'll start with parenting four beautiful children under 9. Then we'll go to gardening, taking care of the home, and trying to catch a few minutes with hubby here and there. Those are the regular things. Oh, and writing!
Then we add in everything else, family in town for July 4 weekend, going to Northern Virginia with the kids for a week and visiting friends (we had a whirlwind trip, staying in 3 different houses in 5 nights!) and preparing for the fabulous She Speaks Conference, which starts in 3 days.
I had no idea how much preparation there would be. But I'm the crazy person who's doing a split track and so has to prepare two speeches for evaluation (done!) and get my book proposal ready (haven't looked at it in almost 2 years and am doing some revisions, over half-way there!) There is also finding "business casual clothes" that I as a stay-at-home mommy doesn't have (thanks to my good friend and mom, I'm all set!), getting my business cards ready, doing a one-sheet (which my faithful friend's son who is a design-stuff-on-the-computer-genius helped me with), and printing off directions and coordinating with my travelling partner. And, just for grins and giggles, I had 8 kids at my house yesterday and am squeezing in a cut and color tomorrow (which another fabulous friend is doing for FREE in exchange for me rolling her hair for a perm.)
So, life is busy. And God has blessed me throughout. He's continuing to teach me to prioritize, make sure I spend time with Him so that I don't lose focus (or my sanity), and to pray for those who are hurting around me.
I'll ask your forgiveness for not being more consistent in meeting you here, but you probably understand. Sometimes, we live day-by-day and minute-by-minute and are so busy enjoying the wonderful gifts God has given us (especially the gift of His peace amidst the craziness swirling around us) that we don't check in.
And that's not always a bad thing.
But I do hope to check in more often and be able to share all the wonderful things God is teaching me through this process. The first of which, as is obvious in this post, is the blessing of godly, caring, generous family and friends!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Top 10 Challenges of Homeschooling
A while back I did a post on the Top 10 Benefits of Homeschooling. Now that we've been done with school for a few weeks, I can look back and talk about the top 10 challenges. As I said before, I love homeschooling! Just because we feel called to do it and it's a good fit for our family, doesn't mean that it doesn't come with its own challenges. This list isn't meant to discourage anyone from homeschooling, but to be realistic and balanced in what it looks like.
1 - Finding time to yourself. Yes, your children are always at home! But a little creativity and some exchanging with other homeschooling moms and you can find a few moments to breath.
2 - Getting past fears of being indadequate. Time and time again I hear moms say they don't think they're capable. "But what do you do when they get to high school? I wasn't good at that stuff when I had to learn it." There are endless resources and helps to homeschooling moms today, and if God's called you to homeschool, he will equip you!
3 - Fitting it all in. Homeschooling is time consuming, there's no question. So you teach, cook, grade tests, clean, do laundry, check work, and run errands. When you homeschool you learn to let some things go, and remember, your children are there with you. Teach them to help with chores and delegate, delegate, delegate!
4 - Normalizing being educated at home. When all their friends go off to school, homeschooled children sometimes wistfully desire to go with them, envisioning a non-stop playdate. Getting together with other homeschooled children, through participating in co-ops, play groups, and field trips, helps make it normal. Talking with them about what a public school day looks like may also help.
5 - Lack of support. Many friends and family don't understand homeschooling or take it personally that the school their children is in 'isn't good enough' for your children (even though that's not how you feel.) They will question, sometimes make blatant statements against homeschooling, and 'test' your kids. Equip yourself, be confident, and know that not everyone will understand or agree with you and that is okay. Answer them with kindness and keep on doing the right thing for your family. And you can forward them videos like this!
6 - 10 - I'm sure there are some more drawbacks to homeschooling, but I can't come up with them. These are the main ones I've come in contact with or seen with other homeschooling families. As with any challenge, there's always a way to meet it.
1 - Finding time to yourself. Yes, your children are always at home! But a little creativity and some exchanging with other homeschooling moms and you can find a few moments to breath.
2 - Getting past fears of being indadequate. Time and time again I hear moms say they don't think they're capable. "But what do you do when they get to high school? I wasn't good at that stuff when I had to learn it." There are endless resources and helps to homeschooling moms today, and if God's called you to homeschool, he will equip you!
3 - Fitting it all in. Homeschooling is time consuming, there's no question. So you teach, cook, grade tests, clean, do laundry, check work, and run errands. When you homeschool you learn to let some things go, and remember, your children are there with you. Teach them to help with chores and delegate, delegate, delegate!
4 - Normalizing being educated at home. When all their friends go off to school, homeschooled children sometimes wistfully desire to go with them, envisioning a non-stop playdate. Getting together with other homeschooled children, through participating in co-ops, play groups, and field trips, helps make it normal. Talking with them about what a public school day looks like may also help.
5 - Lack of support. Many friends and family don't understand homeschooling or take it personally that the school their children is in 'isn't good enough' for your children (even though that's not how you feel.) They will question, sometimes make blatant statements against homeschooling, and 'test' your kids. Equip yourself, be confident, and know that not everyone will understand or agree with you and that is okay. Answer them with kindness and keep on doing the right thing for your family. And you can forward them videos like this!
6 - 10 - I'm sure there are some more drawbacks to homeschooling, but I can't come up with them. These are the main ones I've come in contact with or seen with other homeschooling families. As with any challenge, there's always a way to meet it.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Patience
Patience is something I always thought I had before I had children. I could be patient at work, I could be patient sitting though dozens of not-overly-exciting college classes, I could even be patient in traffic.
But until someone is putting their own personal demands on you 24/7 (i.e. Motherhood), I don't think you can have a complete concept of patience. And once you become a mother, you suddenly understand why all those other mothers you've looked down on for all those years sometimes lost it with their children in the grocery store.
Don't get me wrong, I still cringe when I hear a mom in public berating her child or yelling at him. But I myself must admit, I've raised my voice a time or two.
What I often find, however, is that when I lose my patience, it typically has to do with what I'm doing, not what my children are doing.
Here's what I mean: Have you ever noticed that you don't mind that person meandering down the road when you have plenty of time, but when you're running late all of a sudden that person is being inconsiderate and in your way? The same goes with our children sometimes.
If my child wants me to pick them up or read to them and I'm not in the middle of some task (which hardly ever happens) I freely say "sure" and hang with them for a while. But when I'm fixing dinner, or working on a book, or folding laundry, I find little patience with their requests. Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?
I try to stay aware of staying balanced. Sometimes it's best to stop what I'm doing for a few minutes and spend that time. Especially since a mother's work is never done, and when she takes a break it would be nice if it were uninterrupted. But, my children need me to not only keep them in clean clothes and fix them food, but they also need me. My touch, my voice, my ear.
But balance also means not always giving in to them either. If I gave into every request with the utmost patience, I would never be able to teach them to be patient. Or considerate. Or selfless. Not to say that patience is a bad thing, but how we use it is important. Quite often, patience is needed in greater quantities when I tell my children "no." Then it's my job to stay patient while they ask questions, fuss, or complain. This is usually when we're tempted to lose our patience and yell or give in. But it's my job to back up my words with actions. If I said no, it's not going to happen. If I requested something be done, it will be done or there will be a consequence.
They may also get a consequence if they question or fuss too much (an innate tactic all children automatically know.) As long as I stick to my word and do so calmly, though, I've won the battle. And I've taken one more step on the road to a land called Patience.
But until someone is putting their own personal demands on you 24/7 (i.e. Motherhood), I don't think you can have a complete concept of patience. And once you become a mother, you suddenly understand why all those other mothers you've looked down on for all those years sometimes lost it with their children in the grocery store.
Don't get me wrong, I still cringe when I hear a mom in public berating her child or yelling at him. But I myself must admit, I've raised my voice a time or two.
What I often find, however, is that when I lose my patience, it typically has to do with what I'm doing, not what my children are doing.
Here's what I mean: Have you ever noticed that you don't mind that person meandering down the road when you have plenty of time, but when you're running late all of a sudden that person is being inconsiderate and in your way? The same goes with our children sometimes.
If my child wants me to pick them up or read to them and I'm not in the middle of some task (which hardly ever happens) I freely say "sure" and hang with them for a while. But when I'm fixing dinner, or working on a book, or folding laundry, I find little patience with their requests. Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?
I try to stay aware of staying balanced. Sometimes it's best to stop what I'm doing for a few minutes and spend that time. Especially since a mother's work is never done, and when she takes a break it would be nice if it were uninterrupted. But, my children need me to not only keep them in clean clothes and fix them food, but they also need me. My touch, my voice, my ear.
But balance also means not always giving in to them either. If I gave into every request with the utmost patience, I would never be able to teach them to be patient. Or considerate. Or selfless. Not to say that patience is a bad thing, but how we use it is important. Quite often, patience is needed in greater quantities when I tell my children "no." Then it's my job to stay patient while they ask questions, fuss, or complain. This is usually when we're tempted to lose our patience and yell or give in. But it's my job to back up my words with actions. If I said no, it's not going to happen. If I requested something be done, it will be done or there will be a consequence.
They may also get a consequence if they question or fuss too much (an innate tactic all children automatically know.) As long as I stick to my word and do so calmly, though, I've won the battle. And I've taken one more step on the road to a land called Patience.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Moms for Moms
It seems that everywhere you turn these days you hear about mean girls. Movies, news show segments, magazine articles, and specials abound talking about mean girls and bullying between girls...and grown women. People analyze and speculate what makes some girls mean and try to make recommendations on how those the meanness is aimed at are to best handle it. If you are exposed to enough media, you might believe there aren't hardly any nice girls out there, looking for genuine friendships and willing to love and support.
I've been a big advocate of girlfriendships for a long time and believe they're an important part of life, especially during motherhood. Mothers can feel awfully isolated in our culture. Fear of judgement from other moms or past negative experiences can keep them from reaching out when they're discouraged or doubt themselves. But it is important to find friends who walk along side you on this journey of motherhood.
I'm very fortunate to have a group of women that I love and trust and can care my soul to. Some are women I get to hang out with once in a while and others are my confidants. But each of them are "nice" girls.
Recently, I've been enfolded into a whole new group of nice girls. I'm blessed to be going to the She Speaks Conference this year, a wonderful conference put on by the great gals at Proverbs 31 Ministries for writers, speakers, and leaders. Since registering, I've been drawn in through emails, websites, blogs, and a FaceBook group. It warms my heart and lifts my spirit to see women from all over the country who've never met each other lifting each other up in prayer and encouragement. These women embody the words: "since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:11)
There are loving, supportive women out there who can be mentors, friends, and confidants. Don't settle for anything less! Eliminate (as much as possible) relationships with toxic people and cultivate those that are healthy. Then gather your girlfriends around a cup of coffee or ministry work and get bolstered up for all the work motherhood throws your way!
I've been a big advocate of girlfriendships for a long time and believe they're an important part of life, especially during motherhood. Mothers can feel awfully isolated in our culture. Fear of judgement from other moms or past negative experiences can keep them from reaching out when they're discouraged or doubt themselves. But it is important to find friends who walk along side you on this journey of motherhood.
I'm very fortunate to have a group of women that I love and trust and can care my soul to. Some are women I get to hang out with once in a while and others are my confidants. But each of them are "nice" girls.
Recently, I've been enfolded into a whole new group of nice girls. I'm blessed to be going to the She Speaks Conference this year, a wonderful conference put on by the great gals at Proverbs 31 Ministries for writers, speakers, and leaders. Since registering, I've been drawn in through emails, websites, blogs, and a FaceBook group. It warms my heart and lifts my spirit to see women from all over the country who've never met each other lifting each other up in prayer and encouragement. These women embody the words: "since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:11)
There are loving, supportive women out there who can be mentors, friends, and confidants. Don't settle for anything less! Eliminate (as much as possible) relationships with toxic people and cultivate those that are healthy. Then gather your girlfriends around a cup of coffee or ministry work and get bolstered up for all the work motherhood throws your way!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Fiction Preview Part 4 & Final
This is the second half of chapter two. Sad to say, it's all I'm going to give out for now. (I hope it makes you sad!) Hopefully one day in the not-to-distant future I'll obtain a contract for this book and will have the whole thing out there!
Dana pulled into the field where a couple of dozen cars were parked. She still fumed. Brooke had talked the whole ride, trying to distract her. Dana was grateful for the company of her best friend. Otherwise, she’d go crazy tonight.
She used to like these parties. Everyone who was anyone would be there. She could hear the noise of people she used to consider her friends laughing and talking and getting drunk as she slammed the car door. She thought about getting back in the car, but one look at Brooke convinced her to stay.
Brooke’d had a crush on Max forever and he’d broken up with his girlfriend last week. Dana didn’t really have anywhere else to be, and the least she could do was let Brooke have her chance. At least one of them would have a good night.
The night went on like every other party Dana had ever gone to. The guys drank too much and acted stupid. The girls drank too much and threw themselves on the closest guy, the ones that weren’t attached anyway. Everybody knew everybody and who was dating who and who was willing to hook up.
Dana spotted Max, surrounded by some of his football buddies. She new Brooke had seen him too, as she stopped short and caught her breath.
“I’m fine,” Dana said. “Go ahead.”
“You sure?” Brooke asked, arching one eyebrow.
“I’m sure.” Dana gazed around the crowd. “I’ll find somebody to talk to.”
“You’re the best friend ever,” Brooke said as she squeezed Dana into a hug and then sprinted off.
Dana spotted Crystal and Kara on the other side of the fire. They weren’t too bad. She knew they wouldn’t be drunk. They were both nice, not catty like most of the other girls. They were cheerleaders, like her. Like she was, she corrected. Cheerleading and dating a bull rider didn’t go well together at Western Plain High School. She could still try out, but why bother?
“Dana!” Kara called out to her, waving. Dana waved back, forced a smile and strolled over. Maybe they’d feel sorry for her.
“Crystal, Kara. What’s up?”
Crystal rolled her eyes and took a sip from the red cup in her hand. She looked flawless, perfect skin, long, blond hair. Her jeans must be a size zero and the turquoise top she had on made her eyes even bluer. If she weren’t so nice, Dana would hate her.
“The usual,” she answered.
“Yeah,” Kara said. “I don’t know why we even bother.”
“Because there’s nothing else to do.” Crystal sipped from her cup again. Her eyes roamed around the field.
Kara looked at Dana. “What are you doing here? You never come out to these things anymore.” She brushed back her short brunette hair with one hand, using the other to move the clip that was supposed to be keeping it out of her face. She always wore a clip, but her hair always slipped out and encroached on her face. Dana had noticed a tiny scar by her hair line one time and wondered if that’s why she only half attempted to keep it pulled back.
Kara was pretty. She wasn’t stunning like Crystal, but she got asked out plenty. She usually said no, but in a gentle, thoughtful way. Of course, that didn’t stop the other girls from talking trash about her and the boys from calling her a tease behind her back. Dana knew the score though, the girls were jealous and the guys were ticked that Kara wouldn’t go out with them. She had heard a rumor about Kara dating one of the football players before she’d moved here, but not much else. Thinking about it, she couldn’t remember one date Kara had been on since Dana had met her.
Kara gave her the, ‘I asked you a question’ look. The door of the ambulance closing came to her mind. She did her best to not get peeved again at Bo’s complete lack of paying any attention to her. “Jeremy got hurt.”
“No!”
“What happened?”
Dana swallowed her hurt feelings and decided that she’d have to get over herself and remember that Bo’s brother was probably getting ready for surgery right then.
“The bull slammed his leg against the gate as he was coming out. That mad him off balance and he fell off. The bull came down on his other leg.”
“Oh, how awful!”
“Is he okay?”
Dana hooked her thumbs in her front belt loops. “I guess. They said they couldn’t tell how badly his left leg was damaged. They took him to the E.R. and were going to have to do some x-rays and other tests to know for sure. Most likely, he’ll have to have surgery.”
“Oh,” Kara said, leaning towards Dana, enraptured by the story. “That means no more riding.”
“Not for a long time, anyway. Like I said, they didn’t know anything for sure, but said he’d be off his leg for months.”
“Poor Jeremy,” Kara said. She looked out into the darkness and readjusted the clip in her hair again. “He’ll be crushed. And he’s been through so much already.”
Dana glared at Kara. What did she know? The only reason Dana knew about Stacy’s pregnancy was because of loose-lipped Aunt Flora.
Did Kara know something? Dana remembered that her friend had always seemed to hold interest in Jeremy. She’d always been more friendly to him than other guys, but Jeremy had dated Stacy forever. An image of Kara and Jeremy talking by his car in the school parking lot after the last bell a couple weeks back flashed in her mind.
Dana coughed. “Yeah.” Was there something was going on between Kara and Jeremy?
As Dana formulated a casual way to ask Kara, Crystal spoke up. “I can’t believe that happened. Jeremy’s been riding forever! From what I hear, he’s a perfectionist and is the bomb on the back of a bull.”
“Well,” Dana began, then hesitated. She hated to gossip. But was it really gossip? The facts were that Stacy’d shown up. But, she didn’t know for sure that Stacy being there had distracted Jeremy. Maybe he didn’t even see her.
But Crystal had a point. Jeremy had never messed up before. At least, not that Dana had ever seen. And of course it would have torn him up if he’d seen Stacy. And how could he not? She’d traipsed all around the arena with Stu, as cocky as a peacock.
“Well, what?” Crystal demanded.
Dana lowered her voice a notch and said, “Stacy was there.”
Dana pulled into the field where a couple of dozen cars were parked. She still fumed. Brooke had talked the whole ride, trying to distract her. Dana was grateful for the company of her best friend. Otherwise, she’d go crazy tonight.
She used to like these parties. Everyone who was anyone would be there. She could hear the noise of people she used to consider her friends laughing and talking and getting drunk as she slammed the car door. She thought about getting back in the car, but one look at Brooke convinced her to stay.
Brooke’d had a crush on Max forever and he’d broken up with his girlfriend last week. Dana didn’t really have anywhere else to be, and the least she could do was let Brooke have her chance. At least one of them would have a good night.
The night went on like every other party Dana had ever gone to. The guys drank too much and acted stupid. The girls drank too much and threw themselves on the closest guy, the ones that weren’t attached anyway. Everybody knew everybody and who was dating who and who was willing to hook up.
Dana spotted Max, surrounded by some of his football buddies. She new Brooke had seen him too, as she stopped short and caught her breath.
“I’m fine,” Dana said. “Go ahead.”
“You sure?” Brooke asked, arching one eyebrow.
“I’m sure.” Dana gazed around the crowd. “I’ll find somebody to talk to.”
“You’re the best friend ever,” Brooke said as she squeezed Dana into a hug and then sprinted off.
Dana spotted Crystal and Kara on the other side of the fire. They weren’t too bad. She knew they wouldn’t be drunk. They were both nice, not catty like most of the other girls. They were cheerleaders, like her. Like she was, she corrected. Cheerleading and dating a bull rider didn’t go well together at Western Plain High School. She could still try out, but why bother?
“Dana!” Kara called out to her, waving. Dana waved back, forced a smile and strolled over. Maybe they’d feel sorry for her.
“Crystal, Kara. What’s up?”
Crystal rolled her eyes and took a sip from the red cup in her hand. She looked flawless, perfect skin, long, blond hair. Her jeans must be a size zero and the turquoise top she had on made her eyes even bluer. If she weren’t so nice, Dana would hate her.
“The usual,” she answered.
“Yeah,” Kara said. “I don’t know why we even bother.”
“Because there’s nothing else to do.” Crystal sipped from her cup again. Her eyes roamed around the field.
Kara looked at Dana. “What are you doing here? You never come out to these things anymore.” She brushed back her short brunette hair with one hand, using the other to move the clip that was supposed to be keeping it out of her face. She always wore a clip, but her hair always slipped out and encroached on her face. Dana had noticed a tiny scar by her hair line one time and wondered if that’s why she only half attempted to keep it pulled back.
Kara was pretty. She wasn’t stunning like Crystal, but she got asked out plenty. She usually said no, but in a gentle, thoughtful way. Of course, that didn’t stop the other girls from talking trash about her and the boys from calling her a tease behind her back. Dana knew the score though, the girls were jealous and the guys were ticked that Kara wouldn’t go out with them. She had heard a rumor about Kara dating one of the football players before she’d moved here, but not much else. Thinking about it, she couldn’t remember one date Kara had been on since Dana had met her.
Kara gave her the, ‘I asked you a question’ look. The door of the ambulance closing came to her mind. She did her best to not get peeved again at Bo’s complete lack of paying any attention to her. “Jeremy got hurt.”
“No!”
“What happened?”
Dana swallowed her hurt feelings and decided that she’d have to get over herself and remember that Bo’s brother was probably getting ready for surgery right then.
“The bull slammed his leg against the gate as he was coming out. That mad him off balance and he fell off. The bull came down on his other leg.”
“Oh, how awful!”
“Is he okay?”
Dana hooked her thumbs in her front belt loops. “I guess. They said they couldn’t tell how badly his left leg was damaged. They took him to the E.R. and were going to have to do some x-rays and other tests to know for sure. Most likely, he’ll have to have surgery.”
“Oh,” Kara said, leaning towards Dana, enraptured by the story. “That means no more riding.”
“Not for a long time, anyway. Like I said, they didn’t know anything for sure, but said he’d be off his leg for months.”
“Poor Jeremy,” Kara said. She looked out into the darkness and readjusted the clip in her hair again. “He’ll be crushed. And he’s been through so much already.”
Dana glared at Kara. What did she know? The only reason Dana knew about Stacy’s pregnancy was because of loose-lipped Aunt Flora.
Did Kara know something? Dana remembered that her friend had always seemed to hold interest in Jeremy. She’d always been more friendly to him than other guys, but Jeremy had dated Stacy forever. An image of Kara and Jeremy talking by his car in the school parking lot after the last bell a couple weeks back flashed in her mind.
Dana coughed. “Yeah.” Was there something was going on between Kara and Jeremy?
As Dana formulated a casual way to ask Kara, Crystal spoke up. “I can’t believe that happened. Jeremy’s been riding forever! From what I hear, he’s a perfectionist and is the bomb on the back of a bull.”
“Well,” Dana began, then hesitated. She hated to gossip. But was it really gossip? The facts were that Stacy’d shown up. But, she didn’t know for sure that Stacy being there had distracted Jeremy. Maybe he didn’t even see her.
But Crystal had a point. Jeremy had never messed up before. At least, not that Dana had ever seen. And of course it would have torn him up if he’d seen Stacy. And how could he not? She’d traipsed all around the arena with Stu, as cocky as a peacock.
“Well, what?” Crystal demanded.
Dana lowered her voice a notch and said, “Stacy was there.”
Monday, June 20, 2011
Fiction Preview Part 3
Chapter 2 part 1 (BTW, the book's title is: Riding the Wind)
Jeremy finally got his hand unwrapped and attempted to leap off the bull. The clowns were close by, waiting to direct the bull away from the rider as soon as he hit the ground. There was nothing they could do, though. When Jeremy loosed himself, he fell straight to the ground, instead of jumping off clear like he should have. The bull bucked twice before the clowns coerced him away and out of the arena.
Jeremy lay on the ground. He turned his head to the side and groaned. Bo stared in horror. As soon as the gate closed behind the bull, he raced in with a couple of the other bull-riders. The medical team, coming from another gate, arrived at Jeremy’s side at the same time.
The medical technicians seemed to be everywhere. They asked Jeremy his name and where he was. He answered, groaning and writhing in the process. Jeremy groaned and reached down towards his right leg. When he did, it drew Bo’s gaze away from the gash on his right leg. His breath caught in his throat. So much blood. Bo sensed the crowd gathering around his brother. He knew they were they, but no one spoke a word.
This was not like racing. No one liked to see an accident. Bull-riders weren’t encased and protected. They went flesh to flesh up against animals weighing over a ton, and the animal always won.
Bo looked into his brother’s eyes, identical to his own hazel eyes, as he leaned on the ground. He gripped Jeremy’s free hand. “You’re gonna be all right, Bro. They’ll take good care of you.”
He didn’t let go as they put Jeremy on a gurney and carted him out of the arena. He knew his first concern should be for Jeremy and finding his parents and Dana, but he couldn’t get Stacy out of his head. She had broken his brother’s heart, and now she’d broken his body. She needed to pay for it. And he would make sure she did.
*
Dana stood watching in horror as Jeremy was tossed around on and then under the bull he’d been tagged to ride. Not having any brothers or sisters of her own, she had adopted Jeremy as her big brother. He and Bo were close in age and close to each other and they were always together. He treated her like a little sister, teasing her and protecting her. He had even gotten into a fight with Bo once over what he said was Bo being disrespectful.
A small amount of relief washed over her when she saw Jeremy move. It even seemed that he might be talking to those close around him, although she couldn’t be sure from her vantage point. She could tell that he’d been hurt badly, though. He held one of his legs as the medical technicians hoisted him on a stretcher and carried him out of the arena. Bo stuck to his side.
She allowed a smirk to creep on her face. Her man. He must be so worried. Her smirk dipped down as her eyebrows creased. He knew the dangers of bull-riding and had seen many friends get hurt. She couldn’t imagine what he was going through.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jeremy and Bo’s parents making their way down the bleachers. Those around them called out.
“It doesn’t look that bad.”
“He’ll be okay.”
“We’re praying.”
Brooke didn’t think the Singers heard a word. Her own mind spun, slowing down her bodies reaction. She shook off the daze, grabbed her purse and Brooke’s hand, and began to descend the steps. There’s no way she’d be left behind. Besides, Bo would need her.
Focused on the Singers, Brooke raced down the bleachers and headed to the back area where she rarely ventured.
Oh, let him be okay.
Dana and Brooke rushed into the tent beside the ambulance that was always present in case something happened. Two guys crouched over Jeremy. Mrs. Singer wailed as she anxiously looked over the shoulder of one of the guys. She wrung her hands.
Mr. Singer stood beside her, resting a hand on her back. Dana’s eyes darted around and landed on Bo. He stood by Jeremy’s head and gripped his hand. She glanced at Jeremy, who lay with his eyes closed. His whole face was white and he had his lips pulled tight. A soft moan escaped and he shifted his body weight uncomfortably.
Dana’s eyes traveled down to see how bad his legs were injured, but couldn’t see anything through the technician and Mrs. Singer. She looked back at Bo and took a step towards him. He didn’t acknowledge her touch when she reached out for his free arm. Her anxious gaze met Brooke’s as her foot tapped nervously.
It seemed like an eternity before the two guys that she assumed were medical technicians finally pulled their attention from Jeremy. One looked like he wasn’t much older than Dana, maybe twenty. He had black hair, stood a foot taller than Brooke, and looked like he should be a football player. The other was shorter, maybe five-eight, and had short , sandy hair. He was rail thin and wore glasses. He looked older, more like her parents age.
“How…is…he?” Mrs. Singer asked anxiously, sobbing. “Is he…going to be…okay?”
“Ma’am,” the older one said.
Mrs. Singer calmed, sniffled and looked at the man with wide, teary eyes.
“The right leg was gashed by a screw on the gate. He’s going to need stitches.” He scrunched up his nose and paused before he continued. He sighed, as if he dreaded what he had to say next. “The right leg’s the real problem. The bull’s hoof came down on it after he fell. We’re sure the bones are broken, possibly crushed.” He hesitated again, scrunching his nose even more and adjusting his glasses. He sighed again, then continued. “We’ve seen only a few injuries like this before. There’s muscle damage in addition to the broken bones. We won’t know the extent of the damage until we get him to the hospital and run some tests. Most likely,” he adjusted his glasses again and looked at the ground, “he’ll have to have surgery and will be off his leg for at least six months.”
Mrs. Singer fell back against her much smaller husband and wailed. Mr. Singer’s right foot stepped back to brace himself as he wrapped his arms around his wife.
Tears pushed their way into Dana’s eyes. The thought of Jeremy off his feet for that long was unbelievable. No walking. No driving. No bull-riding.
Jeremy groaned and turned his head away. Bo leaned over and whispered, “Don’t you listen to them. You’ll be fine.”
Dana’s heart sped up. He was such a good guy. And such a good brother. She loved those things about him. Looking at him, concerned about his brother, encouraging him, she felt the all-to-familiar butterflies perk up and start flying around in her stomach. She also felt the fire of desire ignite. It was crazy, but all she wanted to do at this moment wrap her arms around his neck and dive into a thirty minute kiss.
What a cad! How can I stand here thinking about making out with Bo while his brother lays on a stretcher there in excruciating pain, facing surgery and a complete life change?
She mentally kicked herself as the medical technicians moved Jeremy into the back of an ambulance.
“I’ll ride with him, Mom,” Bo said.
“Do-“ Dana began. She stopped as her words were cut off by the slamming of the ambulance doors. He hadn’t given her a second to speak. He hadn’t even looked at her. Acknowledged that she was there. The flames of desire she’d felt for him moments before turned into an angry, raging fire. Regardless of what was going on, the least he could do was pay her an ounce of attention. Tell her to meet him at the hospital. Or that he’d call her later. Or a simple thanks for being there.
But no, he’d not so much as glanced her way. Dana fumed. Brooke must have sensed the change because she squeezed her hand. Dana glanced at Brooke, then let her gaze fall on Bo’s parents. She watched her crumpled face and his stoic one as the ambulance pulled away. Once it drove out of sight, Mr. Singer pushed his weepy wife towards the parking lot. Dana put her arm on Mrs. Singers’.
“I’ll meet you at the hospital, Mrs. Singer.”
“Oh, no, dear,” Mr. Singer said. “You girls go on and enjoy yourselves. It’s going to be a long night and there’s no telling how long it will take.”
“Oh, I…” Dana flounded. She never did know how to talk to Bo’s father. He was quiet and hardly ever said a word. “Really. We want to be there. It doesn’t matter if we’re up late.”
Mr. Singer gave her one of those looks adults give you that says they think you’re about five years old. “Bo will call you tomorrow, Dana. The family needs to be together right now.”
Dana wanted to argue with the man. She wanted to yell at him that he had no right to keep her away from her boyfriend. She wanted to tell him off and show up at the hospital anyway.
But that wouldn’t do her any good. Mr. Singer was Bo’s dad and she didn’t want to get on his bad side. She wasn’t sure what he could do if she made him mad, but from what Bo had told her, he could be awfully stubborn. She didn’t want to take her chances on him keeping her from seeing Bo.
Besides, she was mad at Bo. How dare he complete ignore her?
Fine! I’m not going where I’m not wanted. Dana turned on her heel and stomped off to her car, Brooke following behind. She tossed her purse in the back seat, huffed into the driver’s seat, and waited for the passenger door to close. She turned the engine on and then turned it back off.
“Dana?” Brooke asked. “Are you okay?”
Dana glared out of the windshield. “Fine,” she spit.
Brooke waited. Dana glanced at her and rolled her eyes. “I’m fine.”
Brooke looked at her, one eyebrow raised.
“Okay, I’m ticked. I can’t believe he didn’t even talk to me!”
Brooke’s eyebrow lifted a little more.
Dana let out a scream and laid her head on the steering wheel. “Fine! I know. His brother was hurt. Great. But does that mean I’m chopped liver?”
“Dana,” Brooke said gently.
“Oh, all right. Whatever.” She looked at her watch. Only seven-thirty. Now what? She didn’t want to go home. An empty house would be unbearable.
“What’re you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” Dana’s head pressed into the steering wheel. She rocked it back and forth.
“Max’s having a party. Why don’t we go?”
Dana didn’t feel like going to a party. She didn’t feel like going home either. She wanted to be with Bo, but that wasn’t going to happen. “Fine,” she said. “We can go.”
Jeremy finally got his hand unwrapped and attempted to leap off the bull. The clowns were close by, waiting to direct the bull away from the rider as soon as he hit the ground. There was nothing they could do, though. When Jeremy loosed himself, he fell straight to the ground, instead of jumping off clear like he should have. The bull bucked twice before the clowns coerced him away and out of the arena.
Jeremy lay on the ground. He turned his head to the side and groaned. Bo stared in horror. As soon as the gate closed behind the bull, he raced in with a couple of the other bull-riders. The medical team, coming from another gate, arrived at Jeremy’s side at the same time.
The medical technicians seemed to be everywhere. They asked Jeremy his name and where he was. He answered, groaning and writhing in the process. Jeremy groaned and reached down towards his right leg. When he did, it drew Bo’s gaze away from the gash on his right leg. His breath caught in his throat. So much blood. Bo sensed the crowd gathering around his brother. He knew they were they, but no one spoke a word.
This was not like racing. No one liked to see an accident. Bull-riders weren’t encased and protected. They went flesh to flesh up against animals weighing over a ton, and the animal always won.
Bo looked into his brother’s eyes, identical to his own hazel eyes, as he leaned on the ground. He gripped Jeremy’s free hand. “You’re gonna be all right, Bro. They’ll take good care of you.”
He didn’t let go as they put Jeremy on a gurney and carted him out of the arena. He knew his first concern should be for Jeremy and finding his parents and Dana, but he couldn’t get Stacy out of his head. She had broken his brother’s heart, and now she’d broken his body. She needed to pay for it. And he would make sure she did.
*
Dana stood watching in horror as Jeremy was tossed around on and then under the bull he’d been tagged to ride. Not having any brothers or sisters of her own, she had adopted Jeremy as her big brother. He and Bo were close in age and close to each other and they were always together. He treated her like a little sister, teasing her and protecting her. He had even gotten into a fight with Bo once over what he said was Bo being disrespectful.
A small amount of relief washed over her when she saw Jeremy move. It even seemed that he might be talking to those close around him, although she couldn’t be sure from her vantage point. She could tell that he’d been hurt badly, though. He held one of his legs as the medical technicians hoisted him on a stretcher and carried him out of the arena. Bo stuck to his side.
She allowed a smirk to creep on her face. Her man. He must be so worried. Her smirk dipped down as her eyebrows creased. He knew the dangers of bull-riding and had seen many friends get hurt. She couldn’t imagine what he was going through.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jeremy and Bo’s parents making their way down the bleachers. Those around them called out.
“It doesn’t look that bad.”
“He’ll be okay.”
“We’re praying.”
Brooke didn’t think the Singers heard a word. Her own mind spun, slowing down her bodies reaction. She shook off the daze, grabbed her purse and Brooke’s hand, and began to descend the steps. There’s no way she’d be left behind. Besides, Bo would need her.
Focused on the Singers, Brooke raced down the bleachers and headed to the back area where she rarely ventured.
Oh, let him be okay.
Dana and Brooke rushed into the tent beside the ambulance that was always present in case something happened. Two guys crouched over Jeremy. Mrs. Singer wailed as she anxiously looked over the shoulder of one of the guys. She wrung her hands.
Mr. Singer stood beside her, resting a hand on her back. Dana’s eyes darted around and landed on Bo. He stood by Jeremy’s head and gripped his hand. She glanced at Jeremy, who lay with his eyes closed. His whole face was white and he had his lips pulled tight. A soft moan escaped and he shifted his body weight uncomfortably.
Dana’s eyes traveled down to see how bad his legs were injured, but couldn’t see anything through the technician and Mrs. Singer. She looked back at Bo and took a step towards him. He didn’t acknowledge her touch when she reached out for his free arm. Her anxious gaze met Brooke’s as her foot tapped nervously.
It seemed like an eternity before the two guys that she assumed were medical technicians finally pulled their attention from Jeremy. One looked like he wasn’t much older than Dana, maybe twenty. He had black hair, stood a foot taller than Brooke, and looked like he should be a football player. The other was shorter, maybe five-eight, and had short , sandy hair. He was rail thin and wore glasses. He looked older, more like her parents age.
“How…is…he?” Mrs. Singer asked anxiously, sobbing. “Is he…going to be…okay?”
“Ma’am,” the older one said.
Mrs. Singer calmed, sniffled and looked at the man with wide, teary eyes.
“The right leg was gashed by a screw on the gate. He’s going to need stitches.” He scrunched up his nose and paused before he continued. He sighed, as if he dreaded what he had to say next. “The right leg’s the real problem. The bull’s hoof came down on it after he fell. We’re sure the bones are broken, possibly crushed.” He hesitated again, scrunching his nose even more and adjusting his glasses. He sighed again, then continued. “We’ve seen only a few injuries like this before. There’s muscle damage in addition to the broken bones. We won’t know the extent of the damage until we get him to the hospital and run some tests. Most likely,” he adjusted his glasses again and looked at the ground, “he’ll have to have surgery and will be off his leg for at least six months.”
Mrs. Singer fell back against her much smaller husband and wailed. Mr. Singer’s right foot stepped back to brace himself as he wrapped his arms around his wife.
Tears pushed their way into Dana’s eyes. The thought of Jeremy off his feet for that long was unbelievable. No walking. No driving. No bull-riding.
Jeremy groaned and turned his head away. Bo leaned over and whispered, “Don’t you listen to them. You’ll be fine.”
Dana’s heart sped up. He was such a good guy. And such a good brother. She loved those things about him. Looking at him, concerned about his brother, encouraging him, she felt the all-to-familiar butterflies perk up and start flying around in her stomach. She also felt the fire of desire ignite. It was crazy, but all she wanted to do at this moment wrap her arms around his neck and dive into a thirty minute kiss.
What a cad! How can I stand here thinking about making out with Bo while his brother lays on a stretcher there in excruciating pain, facing surgery and a complete life change?
She mentally kicked herself as the medical technicians moved Jeremy into the back of an ambulance.
“I’ll ride with him, Mom,” Bo said.
“Do-“ Dana began. She stopped as her words were cut off by the slamming of the ambulance doors. He hadn’t given her a second to speak. He hadn’t even looked at her. Acknowledged that she was there. The flames of desire she’d felt for him moments before turned into an angry, raging fire. Regardless of what was going on, the least he could do was pay her an ounce of attention. Tell her to meet him at the hospital. Or that he’d call her later. Or a simple thanks for being there.
But no, he’d not so much as glanced her way. Dana fumed. Brooke must have sensed the change because she squeezed her hand. Dana glanced at Brooke, then let her gaze fall on Bo’s parents. She watched her crumpled face and his stoic one as the ambulance pulled away. Once it drove out of sight, Mr. Singer pushed his weepy wife towards the parking lot. Dana put her arm on Mrs. Singers’.
“I’ll meet you at the hospital, Mrs. Singer.”
“Oh, no, dear,” Mr. Singer said. “You girls go on and enjoy yourselves. It’s going to be a long night and there’s no telling how long it will take.”
“Oh, I…” Dana flounded. She never did know how to talk to Bo’s father. He was quiet and hardly ever said a word. “Really. We want to be there. It doesn’t matter if we’re up late.”
Mr. Singer gave her one of those looks adults give you that says they think you’re about five years old. “Bo will call you tomorrow, Dana. The family needs to be together right now.”
Dana wanted to argue with the man. She wanted to yell at him that he had no right to keep her away from her boyfriend. She wanted to tell him off and show up at the hospital anyway.
But that wouldn’t do her any good. Mr. Singer was Bo’s dad and she didn’t want to get on his bad side. She wasn’t sure what he could do if she made him mad, but from what Bo had told her, he could be awfully stubborn. She didn’t want to take her chances on him keeping her from seeing Bo.
Besides, she was mad at Bo. How dare he complete ignore her?
Fine! I’m not going where I’m not wanted. Dana turned on her heel and stomped off to her car, Brooke following behind. She tossed her purse in the back seat, huffed into the driver’s seat, and waited for the passenger door to close. She turned the engine on and then turned it back off.
“Dana?” Brooke asked. “Are you okay?”
Dana glared out of the windshield. “Fine,” she spit.
Brooke waited. Dana glanced at her and rolled her eyes. “I’m fine.”
Brooke looked at her, one eyebrow raised.
“Okay, I’m ticked. I can’t believe he didn’t even talk to me!”
Brooke’s eyebrow lifted a little more.
Dana let out a scream and laid her head on the steering wheel. “Fine! I know. His brother was hurt. Great. But does that mean I’m chopped liver?”
“Dana,” Brooke said gently.
“Oh, all right. Whatever.” She looked at her watch. Only seven-thirty. Now what? She didn’t want to go home. An empty house would be unbearable.
“What’re you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” Dana’s head pressed into the steering wheel. She rocked it back and forth.
“Max’s having a party. Why don’t we go?”
Dana didn’t feel like going to a party. She didn’t feel like going home either. She wanted to be with Bo, but that wasn’t going to happen. “Fine,” she said. “We can go.”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Monday, August 1, 2011
A Mom's Set Free
Are ye so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh? Galatians 3:3
Last time I wrote, I was getting ready to go to what I knew would be a fantastic conference: She Speaks -a writers, speakers, and women’s ministry leaders conference. I’d been wanting to go to the conference for years and this year finally got the go ahead – from both God and my hubby.
Long before the time for the conference arrived, I got to know many (almost 300 were members) of the to-be attendees through the conference Facebook page. We shared anticipations, fears, prayer requests and an overall excitement about descending on Concord, NC all at the same time (with a total of 650 registered ladies and almost 100 staff and volunteers to run the conference!) There was no doubt in my mind that I would be blessed by my time there.
I was in no way, however, prepared for all that God would do. Throughout the weekend God blessed me with little gifts. A surprise roommate who was as warm, welcoming, and encouraging as I could ever ask for. Friends made, contacts received, networking going on, positive feedback from my publisher appointments (even if no closer to getting my nonfiction book published) and a fantastic speaker evaluation group experience. I was confident, prepared, and all around having a great time.
Then the Saturday worship session came along. We were blessed to have Ann Voskamp, the author of One Thousand Gifts, as the speaker. Her stories touched hearts, moved people, and made you think. Then something totally unexpected happened, something I was completely unprepared for. God used the words of Ann, along with my own words and scriptures I’d used in my speaker evaluation talks, to reach down deeper into my soul than I knew existed. He grabbed hold of hurts and false beliefs I thought I’d gotten rid of a long time ago, pulled them up to the surface, let me feel them, and then healed them. Yes, I was one of those snot-slinging, tear-wracked women in the prayer room. Sometimes that’s what happens when God reaches down deep and changes you.
One thing that I came out of that prayer room with was a sense that instead of knowing God’s truths (that I had myself quoted and talked about) only in my head, I now have them firmly planted in my heart. I also came away with knowing that while I’m a fairly transparent person, it’s only of those things on the surface, those things that don’t truly make me vulnerable.
But do I really want to show the real me, God? Isn’t it too ugly, too dark, too odd? No, He whispers. You are real and you who I made you and are becoming the person I desire you to be.
So as I take a deep breath, I vow to give up everything to God. Even my short-comings. My pride. My belief that I have to do everything perfectly. My belief that I have to earn love. My belief that without working at it, I deserve nothing, not even God’s love. My willingness to only allow the surface stuff to show.
I am grateful for all the little gifts God gave me, but am blown away by the biggest gift of all: freedom. Freedom from the bondage of my own false beliefs and the idea that I at least have to attempt to do everything perfectly. Freedom to truly trust in and rely on God. That He’s in control and I simply have to submit. Freedom to let these truths travel from my head to my heart and let God do the work in me that I know is yet to be done. Freedom to live – in Him, through Him, and for Him.
Today I’m grateful for: the sound of sealing jars, healing from yesterday’s migraine, today’s journey to my first mission trip, God’s word at my fingertips – and everything listed above!
Last time I wrote, I was getting ready to go to what I knew would be a fantastic conference: She Speaks -a writers, speakers, and women’s ministry leaders conference. I’d been wanting to go to the conference for years and this year finally got the go ahead – from both God and my hubby.
Long before the time for the conference arrived, I got to know many (almost 300 were members) of the to-be attendees through the conference Facebook page. We shared anticipations, fears, prayer requests and an overall excitement about descending on Concord, NC all at the same time (with a total of 650 registered ladies and almost 100 staff and volunteers to run the conference!) There was no doubt in my mind that I would be blessed by my time there.
I was in no way, however, prepared for all that God would do. Throughout the weekend God blessed me with little gifts. A surprise roommate who was as warm, welcoming, and encouraging as I could ever ask for. Friends made, contacts received, networking going on, positive feedback from my publisher appointments (even if no closer to getting my nonfiction book published) and a fantastic speaker evaluation group experience. I was confident, prepared, and all around having a great time.
Then the Saturday worship session came along. We were blessed to have Ann Voskamp, the author of One Thousand Gifts, as the speaker. Her stories touched hearts, moved people, and made you think. Then something totally unexpected happened, something I was completely unprepared for. God used the words of Ann, along with my own words and scriptures I’d used in my speaker evaluation talks, to reach down deeper into my soul than I knew existed. He grabbed hold of hurts and false beliefs I thought I’d gotten rid of a long time ago, pulled them up to the surface, let me feel them, and then healed them. Yes, I was one of those snot-slinging, tear-wracked women in the prayer room. Sometimes that’s what happens when God reaches down deep and changes you.
One thing that I came out of that prayer room with was a sense that instead of knowing God’s truths (that I had myself quoted and talked about) only in my head, I now have them firmly planted in my heart. I also came away with knowing that while I’m a fairly transparent person, it’s only of those things on the surface, those things that don’t truly make me vulnerable.
But do I really want to show the real me, God? Isn’t it too ugly, too dark, too odd? No, He whispers. You are real and you who I made you and are becoming the person I desire you to be.
So as I take a deep breath, I vow to give up everything to God. Even my short-comings. My pride. My belief that I have to do everything perfectly. My belief that I have to earn love. My belief that without working at it, I deserve nothing, not even God’s love. My willingness to only allow the surface stuff to show.
I am grateful for all the little gifts God gave me, but am blown away by the biggest gift of all: freedom. Freedom from the bondage of my own false beliefs and the idea that I at least have to attempt to do everything perfectly. Freedom to truly trust in and rely on God. That He’s in control and I simply have to submit. Freedom to let these truths travel from my head to my heart and let God do the work in me that I know is yet to be done. Freedom to live – in Him, through Him, and for Him.
Today I’m grateful for: the sound of sealing jars, healing from yesterday’s migraine, today’s journey to my first mission trip, God’s word at my fingertips – and everything listed above!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
A Mom's Crazy Life
Okay, so Wow! It's really been almost a month since I've been on here. I knew it had been a while, but didn't realize it had been quite that long. July was packed long before it got here, but goodness, couldn't I have taken a few minutes to check in?
Then I review everything that I've been doing. We'll start with parenting four beautiful children under 9. Then we'll go to gardening, taking care of the home, and trying to catch a few minutes with hubby here and there. Those are the regular things. Oh, and writing!
Then we add in everything else, family in town for July 4 weekend, going to Northern Virginia with the kids for a week and visiting friends (we had a whirlwind trip, staying in 3 different houses in 5 nights!) and preparing for the fabulous She Speaks Conference, which starts in 3 days.
I had no idea how much preparation there would be. But I'm the crazy person who's doing a split track and so has to prepare two speeches for evaluation (done!) and get my book proposal ready (haven't looked at it in almost 2 years and am doing some revisions, over half-way there!) There is also finding "business casual clothes" that I as a stay-at-home mommy doesn't have (thanks to my good friend and mom, I'm all set!), getting my business cards ready, doing a one-sheet (which my faithful friend's son who is a design-stuff-on-the-computer-genius helped me with), and printing off directions and coordinating with my travelling partner. And, just for grins and giggles, I had 8 kids at my house yesterday and am squeezing in a cut and color tomorrow (which another fabulous friend is doing for FREE in exchange for me rolling her hair for a perm.)
So, life is busy. And God has blessed me throughout. He's continuing to teach me to prioritize, make sure I spend time with Him so that I don't lose focus (or my sanity), and to pray for those who are hurting around me.
I'll ask your forgiveness for not being more consistent in meeting you here, but you probably understand. Sometimes, we live day-by-day and minute-by-minute and are so busy enjoying the wonderful gifts God has given us (especially the gift of His peace amidst the craziness swirling around us) that we don't check in.
And that's not always a bad thing.
But I do hope to check in more often and be able to share all the wonderful things God is teaching me through this process. The first of which, as is obvious in this post, is the blessing of godly, caring, generous family and friends!
Then I review everything that I've been doing. We'll start with parenting four beautiful children under 9. Then we'll go to gardening, taking care of the home, and trying to catch a few minutes with hubby here and there. Those are the regular things. Oh, and writing!
Then we add in everything else, family in town for July 4 weekend, going to Northern Virginia with the kids for a week and visiting friends (we had a whirlwind trip, staying in 3 different houses in 5 nights!) and preparing for the fabulous She Speaks Conference, which starts in 3 days.
I had no idea how much preparation there would be. But I'm the crazy person who's doing a split track and so has to prepare two speeches for evaluation (done!) and get my book proposal ready (haven't looked at it in almost 2 years and am doing some revisions, over half-way there!) There is also finding "business casual clothes" that I as a stay-at-home mommy doesn't have (thanks to my good friend and mom, I'm all set!), getting my business cards ready, doing a one-sheet (which my faithful friend's son who is a design-stuff-on-the-computer-genius helped me with), and printing off directions and coordinating with my travelling partner. And, just for grins and giggles, I had 8 kids at my house yesterday and am squeezing in a cut and color tomorrow (which another fabulous friend is doing for FREE in exchange for me rolling her hair for a perm.)
So, life is busy. And God has blessed me throughout. He's continuing to teach me to prioritize, make sure I spend time with Him so that I don't lose focus (or my sanity), and to pray for those who are hurting around me.
I'll ask your forgiveness for not being more consistent in meeting you here, but you probably understand. Sometimes, we live day-by-day and minute-by-minute and are so busy enjoying the wonderful gifts God has given us (especially the gift of His peace amidst the craziness swirling around us) that we don't check in.
And that's not always a bad thing.
But I do hope to check in more often and be able to share all the wonderful things God is teaching me through this process. The first of which, as is obvious in this post, is the blessing of godly, caring, generous family and friends!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Top 10 Challenges of Homeschooling
A while back I did a post on the Top 10 Benefits of Homeschooling. Now that we've been done with school for a few weeks, I can look back and talk about the top 10 challenges. As I said before, I love homeschooling! Just because we feel called to do it and it's a good fit for our family, doesn't mean that it doesn't come with its own challenges. This list isn't meant to discourage anyone from homeschooling, but to be realistic and balanced in what it looks like.
1 - Finding time to yourself. Yes, your children are always at home! But a little creativity and some exchanging with other homeschooling moms and you can find a few moments to breath.
2 - Getting past fears of being indadequate. Time and time again I hear moms say they don't think they're capable. "But what do you do when they get to high school? I wasn't good at that stuff when I had to learn it." There are endless resources and helps to homeschooling moms today, and if God's called you to homeschool, he will equip you!
3 - Fitting it all in. Homeschooling is time consuming, there's no question. So you teach, cook, grade tests, clean, do laundry, check work, and run errands. When you homeschool you learn to let some things go, and remember, your children are there with you. Teach them to help with chores and delegate, delegate, delegate!
4 - Normalizing being educated at home. When all their friends go off to school, homeschooled children sometimes wistfully desire to go with them, envisioning a non-stop playdate. Getting together with other homeschooled children, through participating in co-ops, play groups, and field trips, helps make it normal. Talking with them about what a public school day looks like may also help.
5 - Lack of support. Many friends and family don't understand homeschooling or take it personally that the school their children is in 'isn't good enough' for your children (even though that's not how you feel.) They will question, sometimes make blatant statements against homeschooling, and 'test' your kids. Equip yourself, be confident, and know that not everyone will understand or agree with you and that is okay. Answer them with kindness and keep on doing the right thing for your family. And you can forward them videos like this!
6 - 10 - I'm sure there are some more drawbacks to homeschooling, but I can't come up with them. These are the main ones I've come in contact with or seen with other homeschooling families. As with any challenge, there's always a way to meet it.
1 - Finding time to yourself. Yes, your children are always at home! But a little creativity and some exchanging with other homeschooling moms and you can find a few moments to breath.
2 - Getting past fears of being indadequate. Time and time again I hear moms say they don't think they're capable. "But what do you do when they get to high school? I wasn't good at that stuff when I had to learn it." There are endless resources and helps to homeschooling moms today, and if God's called you to homeschool, he will equip you!
3 - Fitting it all in. Homeschooling is time consuming, there's no question. So you teach, cook, grade tests, clean, do laundry, check work, and run errands. When you homeschool you learn to let some things go, and remember, your children are there with you. Teach them to help with chores and delegate, delegate, delegate!
4 - Normalizing being educated at home. When all their friends go off to school, homeschooled children sometimes wistfully desire to go with them, envisioning a non-stop playdate. Getting together with other homeschooled children, through participating in co-ops, play groups, and field trips, helps make it normal. Talking with them about what a public school day looks like may also help.
5 - Lack of support. Many friends and family don't understand homeschooling or take it personally that the school their children is in 'isn't good enough' for your children (even though that's not how you feel.) They will question, sometimes make blatant statements against homeschooling, and 'test' your kids. Equip yourself, be confident, and know that not everyone will understand or agree with you and that is okay. Answer them with kindness and keep on doing the right thing for your family. And you can forward them videos like this!
6 - 10 - I'm sure there are some more drawbacks to homeschooling, but I can't come up with them. These are the main ones I've come in contact with or seen with other homeschooling families. As with any challenge, there's always a way to meet it.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Patience
Patience is something I always thought I had before I had children. I could be patient at work, I could be patient sitting though dozens of not-overly-exciting college classes, I could even be patient in traffic.
But until someone is putting their own personal demands on you 24/7 (i.e. Motherhood), I don't think you can have a complete concept of patience. And once you become a mother, you suddenly understand why all those other mothers you've looked down on for all those years sometimes lost it with their children in the grocery store.
Don't get me wrong, I still cringe when I hear a mom in public berating her child or yelling at him. But I myself must admit, I've raised my voice a time or two.
What I often find, however, is that when I lose my patience, it typically has to do with what I'm doing, not what my children are doing.
Here's what I mean: Have you ever noticed that you don't mind that person meandering down the road when you have plenty of time, but when you're running late all of a sudden that person is being inconsiderate and in your way? The same goes with our children sometimes.
If my child wants me to pick them up or read to them and I'm not in the middle of some task (which hardly ever happens) I freely say "sure" and hang with them for a while. But when I'm fixing dinner, or working on a book, or folding laundry, I find little patience with their requests. Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?
I try to stay aware of staying balanced. Sometimes it's best to stop what I'm doing for a few minutes and spend that time. Especially since a mother's work is never done, and when she takes a break it would be nice if it were uninterrupted. But, my children need me to not only keep them in clean clothes and fix them food, but they also need me. My touch, my voice, my ear.
But balance also means not always giving in to them either. If I gave into every request with the utmost patience, I would never be able to teach them to be patient. Or considerate. Or selfless. Not to say that patience is a bad thing, but how we use it is important. Quite often, patience is needed in greater quantities when I tell my children "no." Then it's my job to stay patient while they ask questions, fuss, or complain. This is usually when we're tempted to lose our patience and yell or give in. But it's my job to back up my words with actions. If I said no, it's not going to happen. If I requested something be done, it will be done or there will be a consequence.
They may also get a consequence if they question or fuss too much (an innate tactic all children automatically know.) As long as I stick to my word and do so calmly, though, I've won the battle. And I've taken one more step on the road to a land called Patience.
But until someone is putting their own personal demands on you 24/7 (i.e. Motherhood), I don't think you can have a complete concept of patience. And once you become a mother, you suddenly understand why all those other mothers you've looked down on for all those years sometimes lost it with their children in the grocery store.
Don't get me wrong, I still cringe when I hear a mom in public berating her child or yelling at him. But I myself must admit, I've raised my voice a time or two.
What I often find, however, is that when I lose my patience, it typically has to do with what I'm doing, not what my children are doing.
Here's what I mean: Have you ever noticed that you don't mind that person meandering down the road when you have plenty of time, but when you're running late all of a sudden that person is being inconsiderate and in your way? The same goes with our children sometimes.
If my child wants me to pick them up or read to them and I'm not in the middle of some task (which hardly ever happens) I freely say "sure" and hang with them for a while. But when I'm fixing dinner, or working on a book, or folding laundry, I find little patience with their requests. Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?
I try to stay aware of staying balanced. Sometimes it's best to stop what I'm doing for a few minutes and spend that time. Especially since a mother's work is never done, and when she takes a break it would be nice if it were uninterrupted. But, my children need me to not only keep them in clean clothes and fix them food, but they also need me. My touch, my voice, my ear.
But balance also means not always giving in to them either. If I gave into every request with the utmost patience, I would never be able to teach them to be patient. Or considerate. Or selfless. Not to say that patience is a bad thing, but how we use it is important. Quite often, patience is needed in greater quantities when I tell my children "no." Then it's my job to stay patient while they ask questions, fuss, or complain. This is usually when we're tempted to lose our patience and yell or give in. But it's my job to back up my words with actions. If I said no, it's not going to happen. If I requested something be done, it will be done or there will be a consequence.
They may also get a consequence if they question or fuss too much (an innate tactic all children automatically know.) As long as I stick to my word and do so calmly, though, I've won the battle. And I've taken one more step on the road to a land called Patience.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Moms for Moms
It seems that everywhere you turn these days you hear about mean girls. Movies, news show segments, magazine articles, and specials abound talking about mean girls and bullying between girls...and grown women. People analyze and speculate what makes some girls mean and try to make recommendations on how those the meanness is aimed at are to best handle it. If you are exposed to enough media, you might believe there aren't hardly any nice girls out there, looking for genuine friendships and willing to love and support.
I've been a big advocate of girlfriendships for a long time and believe they're an important part of life, especially during motherhood. Mothers can feel awfully isolated in our culture. Fear of judgement from other moms or past negative experiences can keep them from reaching out when they're discouraged or doubt themselves. But it is important to find friends who walk along side you on this journey of motherhood.
I'm very fortunate to have a group of women that I love and trust and can care my soul to. Some are women I get to hang out with once in a while and others are my confidants. But each of them are "nice" girls.
Recently, I've been enfolded into a whole new group of nice girls. I'm blessed to be going to the She Speaks Conference this year, a wonderful conference put on by the great gals at Proverbs 31 Ministries for writers, speakers, and leaders. Since registering, I've been drawn in through emails, websites, blogs, and a FaceBook group. It warms my heart and lifts my spirit to see women from all over the country who've never met each other lifting each other up in prayer and encouragement. These women embody the words: "since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:11)
There are loving, supportive women out there who can be mentors, friends, and confidants. Don't settle for anything less! Eliminate (as much as possible) relationships with toxic people and cultivate those that are healthy. Then gather your girlfriends around a cup of coffee or ministry work and get bolstered up for all the work motherhood throws your way!
I've been a big advocate of girlfriendships for a long time and believe they're an important part of life, especially during motherhood. Mothers can feel awfully isolated in our culture. Fear of judgement from other moms or past negative experiences can keep them from reaching out when they're discouraged or doubt themselves. But it is important to find friends who walk along side you on this journey of motherhood.
I'm very fortunate to have a group of women that I love and trust and can care my soul to. Some are women I get to hang out with once in a while and others are my confidants. But each of them are "nice" girls.
Recently, I've been enfolded into a whole new group of nice girls. I'm blessed to be going to the She Speaks Conference this year, a wonderful conference put on by the great gals at Proverbs 31 Ministries for writers, speakers, and leaders. Since registering, I've been drawn in through emails, websites, blogs, and a FaceBook group. It warms my heart and lifts my spirit to see women from all over the country who've never met each other lifting each other up in prayer and encouragement. These women embody the words: "since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:11)
There are loving, supportive women out there who can be mentors, friends, and confidants. Don't settle for anything less! Eliminate (as much as possible) relationships with toxic people and cultivate those that are healthy. Then gather your girlfriends around a cup of coffee or ministry work and get bolstered up for all the work motherhood throws your way!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Fiction Preview Part 4 & Final
This is the second half of chapter two. Sad to say, it's all I'm going to give out for now. (I hope it makes you sad!) Hopefully one day in the not-to-distant future I'll obtain a contract for this book and will have the whole thing out there!
Dana pulled into the field where a couple of dozen cars were parked. She still fumed. Brooke had talked the whole ride, trying to distract her. Dana was grateful for the company of her best friend. Otherwise, she’d go crazy tonight.
She used to like these parties. Everyone who was anyone would be there. She could hear the noise of people she used to consider her friends laughing and talking and getting drunk as she slammed the car door. She thought about getting back in the car, but one look at Brooke convinced her to stay.
Brooke’d had a crush on Max forever and he’d broken up with his girlfriend last week. Dana didn’t really have anywhere else to be, and the least she could do was let Brooke have her chance. At least one of them would have a good night.
The night went on like every other party Dana had ever gone to. The guys drank too much and acted stupid. The girls drank too much and threw themselves on the closest guy, the ones that weren’t attached anyway. Everybody knew everybody and who was dating who and who was willing to hook up.
Dana spotted Max, surrounded by some of his football buddies. She new Brooke had seen him too, as she stopped short and caught her breath.
“I’m fine,” Dana said. “Go ahead.”
“You sure?” Brooke asked, arching one eyebrow.
“I’m sure.” Dana gazed around the crowd. “I’ll find somebody to talk to.”
“You’re the best friend ever,” Brooke said as she squeezed Dana into a hug and then sprinted off.
Dana spotted Crystal and Kara on the other side of the fire. They weren’t too bad. She knew they wouldn’t be drunk. They were both nice, not catty like most of the other girls. They were cheerleaders, like her. Like she was, she corrected. Cheerleading and dating a bull rider didn’t go well together at Western Plain High School. She could still try out, but why bother?
“Dana!” Kara called out to her, waving. Dana waved back, forced a smile and strolled over. Maybe they’d feel sorry for her.
“Crystal, Kara. What’s up?”
Crystal rolled her eyes and took a sip from the red cup in her hand. She looked flawless, perfect skin, long, blond hair. Her jeans must be a size zero and the turquoise top she had on made her eyes even bluer. If she weren’t so nice, Dana would hate her.
“The usual,” she answered.
“Yeah,” Kara said. “I don’t know why we even bother.”
“Because there’s nothing else to do.” Crystal sipped from her cup again. Her eyes roamed around the field.
Kara looked at Dana. “What are you doing here? You never come out to these things anymore.” She brushed back her short brunette hair with one hand, using the other to move the clip that was supposed to be keeping it out of her face. She always wore a clip, but her hair always slipped out and encroached on her face. Dana had noticed a tiny scar by her hair line one time and wondered if that’s why she only half attempted to keep it pulled back.
Kara was pretty. She wasn’t stunning like Crystal, but she got asked out plenty. She usually said no, but in a gentle, thoughtful way. Of course, that didn’t stop the other girls from talking trash about her and the boys from calling her a tease behind her back. Dana knew the score though, the girls were jealous and the guys were ticked that Kara wouldn’t go out with them. She had heard a rumor about Kara dating one of the football players before she’d moved here, but not much else. Thinking about it, she couldn’t remember one date Kara had been on since Dana had met her.
Kara gave her the, ‘I asked you a question’ look. The door of the ambulance closing came to her mind. She did her best to not get peeved again at Bo’s complete lack of paying any attention to her. “Jeremy got hurt.”
“No!”
“What happened?”
Dana swallowed her hurt feelings and decided that she’d have to get over herself and remember that Bo’s brother was probably getting ready for surgery right then.
“The bull slammed his leg against the gate as he was coming out. That mad him off balance and he fell off. The bull came down on his other leg.”
“Oh, how awful!”
“Is he okay?”
Dana hooked her thumbs in her front belt loops. “I guess. They said they couldn’t tell how badly his left leg was damaged. They took him to the E.R. and were going to have to do some x-rays and other tests to know for sure. Most likely, he’ll have to have surgery.”
“Oh,” Kara said, leaning towards Dana, enraptured by the story. “That means no more riding.”
“Not for a long time, anyway. Like I said, they didn’t know anything for sure, but said he’d be off his leg for months.”
“Poor Jeremy,” Kara said. She looked out into the darkness and readjusted the clip in her hair again. “He’ll be crushed. And he’s been through so much already.”
Dana glared at Kara. What did she know? The only reason Dana knew about Stacy’s pregnancy was because of loose-lipped Aunt Flora.
Did Kara know something? Dana remembered that her friend had always seemed to hold interest in Jeremy. She’d always been more friendly to him than other guys, but Jeremy had dated Stacy forever. An image of Kara and Jeremy talking by his car in the school parking lot after the last bell a couple weeks back flashed in her mind.
Dana coughed. “Yeah.” Was there something was going on between Kara and Jeremy?
As Dana formulated a casual way to ask Kara, Crystal spoke up. “I can’t believe that happened. Jeremy’s been riding forever! From what I hear, he’s a perfectionist and is the bomb on the back of a bull.”
“Well,” Dana began, then hesitated. She hated to gossip. But was it really gossip? The facts were that Stacy’d shown up. But, she didn’t know for sure that Stacy being there had distracted Jeremy. Maybe he didn’t even see her.
But Crystal had a point. Jeremy had never messed up before. At least, not that Dana had ever seen. And of course it would have torn him up if he’d seen Stacy. And how could he not? She’d traipsed all around the arena with Stu, as cocky as a peacock.
“Well, what?” Crystal demanded.
Dana lowered her voice a notch and said, “Stacy was there.”
Dana pulled into the field where a couple of dozen cars were parked. She still fumed. Brooke had talked the whole ride, trying to distract her. Dana was grateful for the company of her best friend. Otherwise, she’d go crazy tonight.
She used to like these parties. Everyone who was anyone would be there. She could hear the noise of people she used to consider her friends laughing and talking and getting drunk as she slammed the car door. She thought about getting back in the car, but one look at Brooke convinced her to stay.
Brooke’d had a crush on Max forever and he’d broken up with his girlfriend last week. Dana didn’t really have anywhere else to be, and the least she could do was let Brooke have her chance. At least one of them would have a good night.
The night went on like every other party Dana had ever gone to. The guys drank too much and acted stupid. The girls drank too much and threw themselves on the closest guy, the ones that weren’t attached anyway. Everybody knew everybody and who was dating who and who was willing to hook up.
Dana spotted Max, surrounded by some of his football buddies. She new Brooke had seen him too, as she stopped short and caught her breath.
“I’m fine,” Dana said. “Go ahead.”
“You sure?” Brooke asked, arching one eyebrow.
“I’m sure.” Dana gazed around the crowd. “I’ll find somebody to talk to.”
“You’re the best friend ever,” Brooke said as she squeezed Dana into a hug and then sprinted off.
Dana spotted Crystal and Kara on the other side of the fire. They weren’t too bad. She knew they wouldn’t be drunk. They were both nice, not catty like most of the other girls. They were cheerleaders, like her. Like she was, she corrected. Cheerleading and dating a bull rider didn’t go well together at Western Plain High School. She could still try out, but why bother?
“Dana!” Kara called out to her, waving. Dana waved back, forced a smile and strolled over. Maybe they’d feel sorry for her.
“Crystal, Kara. What’s up?”
Crystal rolled her eyes and took a sip from the red cup in her hand. She looked flawless, perfect skin, long, blond hair. Her jeans must be a size zero and the turquoise top she had on made her eyes even bluer. If she weren’t so nice, Dana would hate her.
“The usual,” she answered.
“Yeah,” Kara said. “I don’t know why we even bother.”
“Because there’s nothing else to do.” Crystal sipped from her cup again. Her eyes roamed around the field.
Kara looked at Dana. “What are you doing here? You never come out to these things anymore.” She brushed back her short brunette hair with one hand, using the other to move the clip that was supposed to be keeping it out of her face. She always wore a clip, but her hair always slipped out and encroached on her face. Dana had noticed a tiny scar by her hair line one time and wondered if that’s why she only half attempted to keep it pulled back.
Kara was pretty. She wasn’t stunning like Crystal, but she got asked out plenty. She usually said no, but in a gentle, thoughtful way. Of course, that didn’t stop the other girls from talking trash about her and the boys from calling her a tease behind her back. Dana knew the score though, the girls were jealous and the guys were ticked that Kara wouldn’t go out with them. She had heard a rumor about Kara dating one of the football players before she’d moved here, but not much else. Thinking about it, she couldn’t remember one date Kara had been on since Dana had met her.
Kara gave her the, ‘I asked you a question’ look. The door of the ambulance closing came to her mind. She did her best to not get peeved again at Bo’s complete lack of paying any attention to her. “Jeremy got hurt.”
“No!”
“What happened?”
Dana swallowed her hurt feelings and decided that she’d have to get over herself and remember that Bo’s brother was probably getting ready for surgery right then.
“The bull slammed his leg against the gate as he was coming out. That mad him off balance and he fell off. The bull came down on his other leg.”
“Oh, how awful!”
“Is he okay?”
Dana hooked her thumbs in her front belt loops. “I guess. They said they couldn’t tell how badly his left leg was damaged. They took him to the E.R. and were going to have to do some x-rays and other tests to know for sure. Most likely, he’ll have to have surgery.”
“Oh,” Kara said, leaning towards Dana, enraptured by the story. “That means no more riding.”
“Not for a long time, anyway. Like I said, they didn’t know anything for sure, but said he’d be off his leg for months.”
“Poor Jeremy,” Kara said. She looked out into the darkness and readjusted the clip in her hair again. “He’ll be crushed. And he’s been through so much already.”
Dana glared at Kara. What did she know? The only reason Dana knew about Stacy’s pregnancy was because of loose-lipped Aunt Flora.
Did Kara know something? Dana remembered that her friend had always seemed to hold interest in Jeremy. She’d always been more friendly to him than other guys, but Jeremy had dated Stacy forever. An image of Kara and Jeremy talking by his car in the school parking lot after the last bell a couple weeks back flashed in her mind.
Dana coughed. “Yeah.” Was there something was going on between Kara and Jeremy?
As Dana formulated a casual way to ask Kara, Crystal spoke up. “I can’t believe that happened. Jeremy’s been riding forever! From what I hear, he’s a perfectionist and is the bomb on the back of a bull.”
“Well,” Dana began, then hesitated. She hated to gossip. But was it really gossip? The facts were that Stacy’d shown up. But, she didn’t know for sure that Stacy being there had distracted Jeremy. Maybe he didn’t even see her.
But Crystal had a point. Jeremy had never messed up before. At least, not that Dana had ever seen. And of course it would have torn him up if he’d seen Stacy. And how could he not? She’d traipsed all around the arena with Stu, as cocky as a peacock.
“Well, what?” Crystal demanded.
Dana lowered her voice a notch and said, “Stacy was there.”
Monday, June 20, 2011
Fiction Preview Part 3
Chapter 2 part 1 (BTW, the book's title is: Riding the Wind)
Jeremy finally got his hand unwrapped and attempted to leap off the bull. The clowns were close by, waiting to direct the bull away from the rider as soon as he hit the ground. There was nothing they could do, though. When Jeremy loosed himself, he fell straight to the ground, instead of jumping off clear like he should have. The bull bucked twice before the clowns coerced him away and out of the arena.
Jeremy lay on the ground. He turned his head to the side and groaned. Bo stared in horror. As soon as the gate closed behind the bull, he raced in with a couple of the other bull-riders. The medical team, coming from another gate, arrived at Jeremy’s side at the same time.
The medical technicians seemed to be everywhere. They asked Jeremy his name and where he was. He answered, groaning and writhing in the process. Jeremy groaned and reached down towards his right leg. When he did, it drew Bo’s gaze away from the gash on his right leg. His breath caught in his throat. So much blood. Bo sensed the crowd gathering around his brother. He knew they were they, but no one spoke a word.
This was not like racing. No one liked to see an accident. Bull-riders weren’t encased and protected. They went flesh to flesh up against animals weighing over a ton, and the animal always won.
Bo looked into his brother’s eyes, identical to his own hazel eyes, as he leaned on the ground. He gripped Jeremy’s free hand. “You’re gonna be all right, Bro. They’ll take good care of you.”
He didn’t let go as they put Jeremy on a gurney and carted him out of the arena. He knew his first concern should be for Jeremy and finding his parents and Dana, but he couldn’t get Stacy out of his head. She had broken his brother’s heart, and now she’d broken his body. She needed to pay for it. And he would make sure she did.
*
Dana stood watching in horror as Jeremy was tossed around on and then under the bull he’d been tagged to ride. Not having any brothers or sisters of her own, she had adopted Jeremy as her big brother. He and Bo were close in age and close to each other and they were always together. He treated her like a little sister, teasing her and protecting her. He had even gotten into a fight with Bo once over what he said was Bo being disrespectful.
A small amount of relief washed over her when she saw Jeremy move. It even seemed that he might be talking to those close around him, although she couldn’t be sure from her vantage point. She could tell that he’d been hurt badly, though. He held one of his legs as the medical technicians hoisted him on a stretcher and carried him out of the arena. Bo stuck to his side.
She allowed a smirk to creep on her face. Her man. He must be so worried. Her smirk dipped down as her eyebrows creased. He knew the dangers of bull-riding and had seen many friends get hurt. She couldn’t imagine what he was going through.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jeremy and Bo’s parents making their way down the bleachers. Those around them called out.
“It doesn’t look that bad.”
“He’ll be okay.”
“We’re praying.”
Brooke didn’t think the Singers heard a word. Her own mind spun, slowing down her bodies reaction. She shook off the daze, grabbed her purse and Brooke’s hand, and began to descend the steps. There’s no way she’d be left behind. Besides, Bo would need her.
Focused on the Singers, Brooke raced down the bleachers and headed to the back area where she rarely ventured.
Oh, let him be okay.
Dana and Brooke rushed into the tent beside the ambulance that was always present in case something happened. Two guys crouched over Jeremy. Mrs. Singer wailed as she anxiously looked over the shoulder of one of the guys. She wrung her hands.
Mr. Singer stood beside her, resting a hand on her back. Dana’s eyes darted around and landed on Bo. He stood by Jeremy’s head and gripped his hand. She glanced at Jeremy, who lay with his eyes closed. His whole face was white and he had his lips pulled tight. A soft moan escaped and he shifted his body weight uncomfortably.
Dana’s eyes traveled down to see how bad his legs were injured, but couldn’t see anything through the technician and Mrs. Singer. She looked back at Bo and took a step towards him. He didn’t acknowledge her touch when she reached out for his free arm. Her anxious gaze met Brooke’s as her foot tapped nervously.
It seemed like an eternity before the two guys that she assumed were medical technicians finally pulled their attention from Jeremy. One looked like he wasn’t much older than Dana, maybe twenty. He had black hair, stood a foot taller than Brooke, and looked like he should be a football player. The other was shorter, maybe five-eight, and had short , sandy hair. He was rail thin and wore glasses. He looked older, more like her parents age.
“How…is…he?” Mrs. Singer asked anxiously, sobbing. “Is he…going to be…okay?”
“Ma’am,” the older one said.
Mrs. Singer calmed, sniffled and looked at the man with wide, teary eyes.
“The right leg was gashed by a screw on the gate. He’s going to need stitches.” He scrunched up his nose and paused before he continued. He sighed, as if he dreaded what he had to say next. “The right leg’s the real problem. The bull’s hoof came down on it after he fell. We’re sure the bones are broken, possibly crushed.” He hesitated again, scrunching his nose even more and adjusting his glasses. He sighed again, then continued. “We’ve seen only a few injuries like this before. There’s muscle damage in addition to the broken bones. We won’t know the extent of the damage until we get him to the hospital and run some tests. Most likely,” he adjusted his glasses again and looked at the ground, “he’ll have to have surgery and will be off his leg for at least six months.”
Mrs. Singer fell back against her much smaller husband and wailed. Mr. Singer’s right foot stepped back to brace himself as he wrapped his arms around his wife.
Tears pushed their way into Dana’s eyes. The thought of Jeremy off his feet for that long was unbelievable. No walking. No driving. No bull-riding.
Jeremy groaned and turned his head away. Bo leaned over and whispered, “Don’t you listen to them. You’ll be fine.”
Dana’s heart sped up. He was such a good guy. And such a good brother. She loved those things about him. Looking at him, concerned about his brother, encouraging him, she felt the all-to-familiar butterflies perk up and start flying around in her stomach. She also felt the fire of desire ignite. It was crazy, but all she wanted to do at this moment wrap her arms around his neck and dive into a thirty minute kiss.
What a cad! How can I stand here thinking about making out with Bo while his brother lays on a stretcher there in excruciating pain, facing surgery and a complete life change?
She mentally kicked herself as the medical technicians moved Jeremy into the back of an ambulance.
“I’ll ride with him, Mom,” Bo said.
“Do-“ Dana began. She stopped as her words were cut off by the slamming of the ambulance doors. He hadn’t given her a second to speak. He hadn’t even looked at her. Acknowledged that she was there. The flames of desire she’d felt for him moments before turned into an angry, raging fire. Regardless of what was going on, the least he could do was pay her an ounce of attention. Tell her to meet him at the hospital. Or that he’d call her later. Or a simple thanks for being there.
But no, he’d not so much as glanced her way. Dana fumed. Brooke must have sensed the change because she squeezed her hand. Dana glanced at Brooke, then let her gaze fall on Bo’s parents. She watched her crumpled face and his stoic one as the ambulance pulled away. Once it drove out of sight, Mr. Singer pushed his weepy wife towards the parking lot. Dana put her arm on Mrs. Singers’.
“I’ll meet you at the hospital, Mrs. Singer.”
“Oh, no, dear,” Mr. Singer said. “You girls go on and enjoy yourselves. It’s going to be a long night and there’s no telling how long it will take.”
“Oh, I…” Dana flounded. She never did know how to talk to Bo’s father. He was quiet and hardly ever said a word. “Really. We want to be there. It doesn’t matter if we’re up late.”
Mr. Singer gave her one of those looks adults give you that says they think you’re about five years old. “Bo will call you tomorrow, Dana. The family needs to be together right now.”
Dana wanted to argue with the man. She wanted to yell at him that he had no right to keep her away from her boyfriend. She wanted to tell him off and show up at the hospital anyway.
But that wouldn’t do her any good. Mr. Singer was Bo’s dad and she didn’t want to get on his bad side. She wasn’t sure what he could do if she made him mad, but from what Bo had told her, he could be awfully stubborn. She didn’t want to take her chances on him keeping her from seeing Bo.
Besides, she was mad at Bo. How dare he complete ignore her?
Fine! I’m not going where I’m not wanted. Dana turned on her heel and stomped off to her car, Brooke following behind. She tossed her purse in the back seat, huffed into the driver’s seat, and waited for the passenger door to close. She turned the engine on and then turned it back off.
“Dana?” Brooke asked. “Are you okay?”
Dana glared out of the windshield. “Fine,” she spit.
Brooke waited. Dana glanced at her and rolled her eyes. “I’m fine.”
Brooke looked at her, one eyebrow raised.
“Okay, I’m ticked. I can’t believe he didn’t even talk to me!”
Brooke’s eyebrow lifted a little more.
Dana let out a scream and laid her head on the steering wheel. “Fine! I know. His brother was hurt. Great. But does that mean I’m chopped liver?”
“Dana,” Brooke said gently.
“Oh, all right. Whatever.” She looked at her watch. Only seven-thirty. Now what? She didn’t want to go home. An empty house would be unbearable.
“What’re you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” Dana’s head pressed into the steering wheel. She rocked it back and forth.
“Max’s having a party. Why don’t we go?”
Dana didn’t feel like going to a party. She didn’t feel like going home either. She wanted to be with Bo, but that wasn’t going to happen. “Fine,” she said. “We can go.”
Jeremy finally got his hand unwrapped and attempted to leap off the bull. The clowns were close by, waiting to direct the bull away from the rider as soon as he hit the ground. There was nothing they could do, though. When Jeremy loosed himself, he fell straight to the ground, instead of jumping off clear like he should have. The bull bucked twice before the clowns coerced him away and out of the arena.
Jeremy lay on the ground. He turned his head to the side and groaned. Bo stared in horror. As soon as the gate closed behind the bull, he raced in with a couple of the other bull-riders. The medical team, coming from another gate, arrived at Jeremy’s side at the same time.
The medical technicians seemed to be everywhere. They asked Jeremy his name and where he was. He answered, groaning and writhing in the process. Jeremy groaned and reached down towards his right leg. When he did, it drew Bo’s gaze away from the gash on his right leg. His breath caught in his throat. So much blood. Bo sensed the crowd gathering around his brother. He knew they were they, but no one spoke a word.
This was not like racing. No one liked to see an accident. Bull-riders weren’t encased and protected. They went flesh to flesh up against animals weighing over a ton, and the animal always won.
Bo looked into his brother’s eyes, identical to his own hazel eyes, as he leaned on the ground. He gripped Jeremy’s free hand. “You’re gonna be all right, Bro. They’ll take good care of you.”
He didn’t let go as they put Jeremy on a gurney and carted him out of the arena. He knew his first concern should be for Jeremy and finding his parents and Dana, but he couldn’t get Stacy out of his head. She had broken his brother’s heart, and now she’d broken his body. She needed to pay for it. And he would make sure she did.
*
Dana stood watching in horror as Jeremy was tossed around on and then under the bull he’d been tagged to ride. Not having any brothers or sisters of her own, she had adopted Jeremy as her big brother. He and Bo were close in age and close to each other and they were always together. He treated her like a little sister, teasing her and protecting her. He had even gotten into a fight with Bo once over what he said was Bo being disrespectful.
A small amount of relief washed over her when she saw Jeremy move. It even seemed that he might be talking to those close around him, although she couldn’t be sure from her vantage point. She could tell that he’d been hurt badly, though. He held one of his legs as the medical technicians hoisted him on a stretcher and carried him out of the arena. Bo stuck to his side.
She allowed a smirk to creep on her face. Her man. He must be so worried. Her smirk dipped down as her eyebrows creased. He knew the dangers of bull-riding and had seen many friends get hurt. She couldn’t imagine what he was going through.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jeremy and Bo’s parents making their way down the bleachers. Those around them called out.
“It doesn’t look that bad.”
“He’ll be okay.”
“We’re praying.”
Brooke didn’t think the Singers heard a word. Her own mind spun, slowing down her bodies reaction. She shook off the daze, grabbed her purse and Brooke’s hand, and began to descend the steps. There’s no way she’d be left behind. Besides, Bo would need her.
Focused on the Singers, Brooke raced down the bleachers and headed to the back area where she rarely ventured.
Oh, let him be okay.
Dana and Brooke rushed into the tent beside the ambulance that was always present in case something happened. Two guys crouched over Jeremy. Mrs. Singer wailed as she anxiously looked over the shoulder of one of the guys. She wrung her hands.
Mr. Singer stood beside her, resting a hand on her back. Dana’s eyes darted around and landed on Bo. He stood by Jeremy’s head and gripped his hand. She glanced at Jeremy, who lay with his eyes closed. His whole face was white and he had his lips pulled tight. A soft moan escaped and he shifted his body weight uncomfortably.
Dana’s eyes traveled down to see how bad his legs were injured, but couldn’t see anything through the technician and Mrs. Singer. She looked back at Bo and took a step towards him. He didn’t acknowledge her touch when she reached out for his free arm. Her anxious gaze met Brooke’s as her foot tapped nervously.
It seemed like an eternity before the two guys that she assumed were medical technicians finally pulled their attention from Jeremy. One looked like he wasn’t much older than Dana, maybe twenty. He had black hair, stood a foot taller than Brooke, and looked like he should be a football player. The other was shorter, maybe five-eight, and had short , sandy hair. He was rail thin and wore glasses. He looked older, more like her parents age.
“How…is…he?” Mrs. Singer asked anxiously, sobbing. “Is he…going to be…okay?”
“Ma’am,” the older one said.
Mrs. Singer calmed, sniffled and looked at the man with wide, teary eyes.
“The right leg was gashed by a screw on the gate. He’s going to need stitches.” He scrunched up his nose and paused before he continued. He sighed, as if he dreaded what he had to say next. “The right leg’s the real problem. The bull’s hoof came down on it after he fell. We’re sure the bones are broken, possibly crushed.” He hesitated again, scrunching his nose even more and adjusting his glasses. He sighed again, then continued. “We’ve seen only a few injuries like this before. There’s muscle damage in addition to the broken bones. We won’t know the extent of the damage until we get him to the hospital and run some tests. Most likely,” he adjusted his glasses again and looked at the ground, “he’ll have to have surgery and will be off his leg for at least six months.”
Mrs. Singer fell back against her much smaller husband and wailed. Mr. Singer’s right foot stepped back to brace himself as he wrapped his arms around his wife.
Tears pushed their way into Dana’s eyes. The thought of Jeremy off his feet for that long was unbelievable. No walking. No driving. No bull-riding.
Jeremy groaned and turned his head away. Bo leaned over and whispered, “Don’t you listen to them. You’ll be fine.”
Dana’s heart sped up. He was such a good guy. And such a good brother. She loved those things about him. Looking at him, concerned about his brother, encouraging him, she felt the all-to-familiar butterflies perk up and start flying around in her stomach. She also felt the fire of desire ignite. It was crazy, but all she wanted to do at this moment wrap her arms around his neck and dive into a thirty minute kiss.
What a cad! How can I stand here thinking about making out with Bo while his brother lays on a stretcher there in excruciating pain, facing surgery and a complete life change?
She mentally kicked herself as the medical technicians moved Jeremy into the back of an ambulance.
“I’ll ride with him, Mom,” Bo said.
“Do-“ Dana began. She stopped as her words were cut off by the slamming of the ambulance doors. He hadn’t given her a second to speak. He hadn’t even looked at her. Acknowledged that she was there. The flames of desire she’d felt for him moments before turned into an angry, raging fire. Regardless of what was going on, the least he could do was pay her an ounce of attention. Tell her to meet him at the hospital. Or that he’d call her later. Or a simple thanks for being there.
But no, he’d not so much as glanced her way. Dana fumed. Brooke must have sensed the change because she squeezed her hand. Dana glanced at Brooke, then let her gaze fall on Bo’s parents. She watched her crumpled face and his stoic one as the ambulance pulled away. Once it drove out of sight, Mr. Singer pushed his weepy wife towards the parking lot. Dana put her arm on Mrs. Singers’.
“I’ll meet you at the hospital, Mrs. Singer.”
“Oh, no, dear,” Mr. Singer said. “You girls go on and enjoy yourselves. It’s going to be a long night and there’s no telling how long it will take.”
“Oh, I…” Dana flounded. She never did know how to talk to Bo’s father. He was quiet and hardly ever said a word. “Really. We want to be there. It doesn’t matter if we’re up late.”
Mr. Singer gave her one of those looks adults give you that says they think you’re about five years old. “Bo will call you tomorrow, Dana. The family needs to be together right now.”
Dana wanted to argue with the man. She wanted to yell at him that he had no right to keep her away from her boyfriend. She wanted to tell him off and show up at the hospital anyway.
But that wouldn’t do her any good. Mr. Singer was Bo’s dad and she didn’t want to get on his bad side. She wasn’t sure what he could do if she made him mad, but from what Bo had told her, he could be awfully stubborn. She didn’t want to take her chances on him keeping her from seeing Bo.
Besides, she was mad at Bo. How dare he complete ignore her?
Fine! I’m not going where I’m not wanted. Dana turned on her heel and stomped off to her car, Brooke following behind. She tossed her purse in the back seat, huffed into the driver’s seat, and waited for the passenger door to close. She turned the engine on and then turned it back off.
“Dana?” Brooke asked. “Are you okay?”
Dana glared out of the windshield. “Fine,” she spit.
Brooke waited. Dana glanced at her and rolled her eyes. “I’m fine.”
Brooke looked at her, one eyebrow raised.
“Okay, I’m ticked. I can’t believe he didn’t even talk to me!”
Brooke’s eyebrow lifted a little more.
Dana let out a scream and laid her head on the steering wheel. “Fine! I know. His brother was hurt. Great. But does that mean I’m chopped liver?”
“Dana,” Brooke said gently.
“Oh, all right. Whatever.” She looked at her watch. Only seven-thirty. Now what? She didn’t want to go home. An empty house would be unbearable.
“What’re you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” Dana’s head pressed into the steering wheel. She rocked it back and forth.
“Max’s having a party. Why don’t we go?”
Dana didn’t feel like going to a party. She didn’t feel like going home either. She wanted to be with Bo, but that wasn’t going to happen. “Fine,” she said. “We can go.”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
