Wednesday, February 20, 2008

We can all be good moms

Posted by Tracy Wainwright at 9:16 PM
Working moms know that they miss out on some things, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be great moms. There are plenty of working moms who have close relationships with their children and have been able to find enough balance to be there for their children. We know that quantity of time spent with our children is as important as quality time. But plenty of moms have found a way to prioritize time with their children despite the challenges presented by working.
Likewise, women who stay at home full time aren’t necessarily the best at mothering. I’ll never forget when I was reading a book in preparation to stay home full time and read the statements of children who’s “stay-at-home” moms kept themselves too busy to build relationships with them (Leaving the Workforce.) Just because a mom stays at home with her children does not mean that she makes the best decisions for her children and family. Whether a woman works outside of the home or in the home does not determine how good a mom she is and we need a disconnect from this thinking.
It’s really amazing how much women have in common, regardless of whether they work outside of the home or not. Probably because so many people have focused on the differences, most of us don’t really realize how much we have in common. In speaking with other moms, I was surprised at first how similarly they answered particular questions. But as I got to thinking about it, it made more sense. We are all moms, we are all trying to do our best raising our children and taking care of our families and homes, and we all have personal needs that we have to squeeze in somewhere.

4 comments on "We can all be good moms"

Momof4 on February 21, 2008 at 9:22 AM said...

I totally agree with you. I tried to be a stay at home mommy once and found that I just didn't prioritize my life the same to be spending the time that I thought I would be spending with my children. I often hear, as I am sure that you do as well, people say how they "just don't know when they had the time to get things done before", and that "they seem to have had more time to get things done when they worked." I think no matter what you spend the majority of your time doing (being a stay at home mom or you are out there in the workforce)you should still be sure to budget quality time everyday with your child. Some days it may just be a bedtime story and other days it may be a series of crafts, but you know what...no matter what it is your child will love you for it and it will be one of those memory's they never forget.

phil4:13Mom on February 21, 2008 at 10:50 AM said...

Tracy,
Another thought... the stay at home's clubs make it hard for a working mom(me) to connect with the other non working moms. It almost becomes an exclusive club, and maybe not intentionally but it does. The outreach between the two groups can get lost in the shuffle. While logistics plays a part in the problem, I wonder if there could be a conscious - proactive effort to join.
Beth Abbott

phil4:13Mom on February 21, 2008 at 11:03 AM said...

Tracy,
One other thought to consider for you book. I work because God wants me to. I know that sounds UNBIBLICAL to some. But for what ever reason God has kept me working - FULL TIME. I have prayed for release from work and God has said no. I see that God is taking me places(spiritually) now that I couldn't have gone if I stayed home and preparing me for my future in His service. I don't know if you planned on addressing God and how he figures into the mothering equation-- can you incorporate the "God factor" -- decisions to stay home or go to work are not always our decisions but God's. And mothering is in the God realm to, I can not be a "good" mom without Christ and his peace in me.
For me and others who work or stay home, cannot leave Christ out of the equation, so while I am reading your blog I keep saying in my head, what about the "God factor". And maybe I need to read more of your blog or you just haven't gotten there yet?????
Thanks for writing - you are very good at your GIFT!
Beth Abbott

Tracy Wainwright on February 21, 2008 at 4:16 PM said...

Beth,
I haven't forgotten the "God factor." As you said, I just haven't gotten there yet. In my plan for my book, I want it to be a book that any mom would pick up and read. The last chapter will complete the answer that all moms need: an identity based in who we are in Christ and leaning on him for everything we need.
Thanks sooo much for your comments. Yours is just the type of perspective I'm looking for as I continue to work on my book. (and you can keep the compliments coming, it's very encouraging!)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

We can all be good moms

Working moms know that they miss out on some things, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be great moms. There are plenty of working moms who have close relationships with their children and have been able to find enough balance to be there for their children. We know that quantity of time spent with our children is as important as quality time. But plenty of moms have found a way to prioritize time with their children despite the challenges presented by working.
Likewise, women who stay at home full time aren’t necessarily the best at mothering. I’ll never forget when I was reading a book in preparation to stay home full time and read the statements of children who’s “stay-at-home” moms kept themselves too busy to build relationships with them (Leaving the Workforce.) Just because a mom stays at home with her children does not mean that she makes the best decisions for her children and family. Whether a woman works outside of the home or in the home does not determine how good a mom she is and we need a disconnect from this thinking.
It’s really amazing how much women have in common, regardless of whether they work outside of the home or not. Probably because so many people have focused on the differences, most of us don’t really realize how much we have in common. In speaking with other moms, I was surprised at first how similarly they answered particular questions. But as I got to thinking about it, it made more sense. We are all moms, we are all trying to do our best raising our children and taking care of our families and homes, and we all have personal needs that we have to squeeze in somewhere.

4 comments:

Momof4 said...

I totally agree with you. I tried to be a stay at home mommy once and found that I just didn't prioritize my life the same to be spending the time that I thought I would be spending with my children. I often hear, as I am sure that you do as well, people say how they "just don't know when they had the time to get things done before", and that "they seem to have had more time to get things done when they worked." I think no matter what you spend the majority of your time doing (being a stay at home mom or you are out there in the workforce)you should still be sure to budget quality time everyday with your child. Some days it may just be a bedtime story and other days it may be a series of crafts, but you know what...no matter what it is your child will love you for it and it will be one of those memory's they never forget.

phil4:13Mom said...

Tracy,
Another thought... the stay at home's clubs make it hard for a working mom(me) to connect with the other non working moms. It almost becomes an exclusive club, and maybe not intentionally but it does. The outreach between the two groups can get lost in the shuffle. While logistics plays a part in the problem, I wonder if there could be a conscious - proactive effort to join.
Beth Abbott

phil4:13Mom said...

Tracy,
One other thought to consider for you book. I work because God wants me to. I know that sounds UNBIBLICAL to some. But for what ever reason God has kept me working - FULL TIME. I have prayed for release from work and God has said no. I see that God is taking me places(spiritually) now that I couldn't have gone if I stayed home and preparing me for my future in His service. I don't know if you planned on addressing God and how he figures into the mothering equation-- can you incorporate the "God factor" -- decisions to stay home or go to work are not always our decisions but God's. And mothering is in the God realm to, I can not be a "good" mom without Christ and his peace in me.
For me and others who work or stay home, cannot leave Christ out of the equation, so while I am reading your blog I keep saying in my head, what about the "God factor". And maybe I need to read more of your blog or you just haven't gotten there yet?????
Thanks for writing - you are very good at your GIFT!
Beth Abbott

Tracy Wainwright said...

Beth,
I haven't forgotten the "God factor." As you said, I just haven't gotten there yet. In my plan for my book, I want it to be a book that any mom would pick up and read. The last chapter will complete the answer that all moms need: an identity based in who we are in Christ and leaning on him for everything we need.
Thanks sooo much for your comments. Yours is just the type of perspective I'm looking for as I continue to work on my book. (and you can keep the compliments coming, it's very encouraging!)

 

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