Friday, February 8, 2008

Balance through letting go

Posted by Tracy Wainwright at 8:00 PM
Now that we have added some tools to our balanced life toolbox, we need to discuss “those days.” You know, the day where everything gets out of balance. Whether because of circumstances out of our control or because of our own decisions, we all have “those days.” One of my girlfriends confided in me today that she allowed her day to get all out of whack. How she spent her time did not reflect her priorities for the day. Her confession got me to thinking. Has the way I spent my time today reflected my priorities? Today I did okay, but reflecting back over the week showed me that I had spent too little time just being with my children.
The guilt and disappointment in myself is something that I believe we all (moms) share. Because of being pulled in a variety of directions it often happens that we don’t get everything done. Sometimes we feel disappointed in ourselves for not living up to our own standards. Sometimes we feel guilty about missing something important for something trivial. Sometimes we just don’t ever feel like we can keep everyone happy. On those days (or weeks) it’s essential to evaluate what’s going on and what went wrong.
We are often afraid of doing this because it means looking at and acknowledging our faults. And that just makes us feel worse. Therefore, the next step is to determine where changes need to be made. Some of the tools we’ve already discussed will be helpful in making necessary adjustments. Once you’ve determined to, or actually made, some changes to get back in balance you’re only part of the way through the process. The next step is to let go. Let go of the disappointment. Let go of the guilt. Let go of the self condemnation. Recognize that you’re human and forgive yourself. I find that I often skip this step and kind of “rake myself over the coals” over and over about the same issue. Even if it’s been years since I’ve made a particular mistake, the guilt can creep up on me.
Holding on to these negative feelings are not helpful to anyone. They just drag me down and tip my scales (and life) out of balance. They are damaging to my health and may negatively impact my relationships. Most importantly they affect how I see myself, how I treat myself, and how I expect others to treat me. If I’m able to forgive myself and be content with who I am (and who I’m striving to be) I will be more likely to take care of my health and thus be better able to take care of my family and all of the other responsibilities I have.

1 comments on "Balance through letting go"

Leigh Anne Langston on February 9, 2008 at 7:30 AM said...

Thank you for this one.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Balance through letting go

Now that we have added some tools to our balanced life toolbox, we need to discuss “those days.” You know, the day where everything gets out of balance. Whether because of circumstances out of our control or because of our own decisions, we all have “those days.” One of my girlfriends confided in me today that she allowed her day to get all out of whack. How she spent her time did not reflect her priorities for the day. Her confession got me to thinking. Has the way I spent my time today reflected my priorities? Today I did okay, but reflecting back over the week showed me that I had spent too little time just being with my children.
The guilt and disappointment in myself is something that I believe we all (moms) share. Because of being pulled in a variety of directions it often happens that we don’t get everything done. Sometimes we feel disappointed in ourselves for not living up to our own standards. Sometimes we feel guilty about missing something important for something trivial. Sometimes we just don’t ever feel like we can keep everyone happy. On those days (or weeks) it’s essential to evaluate what’s going on and what went wrong.
We are often afraid of doing this because it means looking at and acknowledging our faults. And that just makes us feel worse. Therefore, the next step is to determine where changes need to be made. Some of the tools we’ve already discussed will be helpful in making necessary adjustments. Once you’ve determined to, or actually made, some changes to get back in balance you’re only part of the way through the process. The next step is to let go. Let go of the disappointment. Let go of the guilt. Let go of the self condemnation. Recognize that you’re human and forgive yourself. I find that I often skip this step and kind of “rake myself over the coals” over and over about the same issue. Even if it’s been years since I’ve made a particular mistake, the guilt can creep up on me.
Holding on to these negative feelings are not helpful to anyone. They just drag me down and tip my scales (and life) out of balance. They are damaging to my health and may negatively impact my relationships. Most importantly they affect how I see myself, how I treat myself, and how I expect others to treat me. If I’m able to forgive myself and be content with who I am (and who I’m striving to be) I will be more likely to take care of my health and thus be better able to take care of my family and all of the other responsibilities I have.

1 comments:

 

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