Friday, February 1, 2008

Balance through Relationships

Posted by Tracy Wainwright at 6:27 PM
Lists, goals and objectives are helpful in giving concreteness to priorities and increasing motivation, but they most definitely don’t guarantee balance. I have even gotten out of balance in making lists and goals before. These are just tools that can be helpful in maintaining balance. There are many other tools that can be used to maintain balance in your life. Another way that I keep myself in check is through my relationships. The people in my life that I’m closest with know me well enough to notice when I’m out of balance. They are able to see things that I can’t or don’t take the time to see. Accountability relationships, as I call them, can include a husband, best friend, mother, sister, etc. These are the people you share your inmost being with and are comfortable enough to be vulnerable with. They are also faithful and trustworthy and will always build you up. They are there for you, because sometimes all you need is a sounding board. Just talking through your feelings, frustrations, and fantasies (on what all you’d like to get done) if often helpful.
These relationships also help remind you that you are more than a mother. Although we often get overwhelmed with all of the roles we play in life, there is healthiness in being able to define who we are separate from being a mom. Especially when mothering takes up a majority of our time and we feel completely wrapped up in mommyhood. It may seem contrary to what many think, but maintaining your identity outside of being a mom actually helps you be a better mom. Remember the metaphor of the air conditioning unit? We talked about needing to do regular maintenance. An air conditioner doesn’t spend time being a refrigerator or washing machine, but it doesn’t run all the time. Even though it doesn’t provide another function, it does its job of heating or cooling and then it takes a break for a while. We’re not appliances (contrary to some popular jokes), we have more than one job and more than one relationship to maintain. If we look at these other relationships as avenues of support and outlets, they become tools to helping us maintain balance instead of just adding more things on our to do list.

0 comments on "Balance through Relationships"

Friday, February 1, 2008

Balance through Relationships

Lists, goals and objectives are helpful in giving concreteness to priorities and increasing motivation, but they most definitely don’t guarantee balance. I have even gotten out of balance in making lists and goals before. These are just tools that can be helpful in maintaining balance. There are many other tools that can be used to maintain balance in your life. Another way that I keep myself in check is through my relationships. The people in my life that I’m closest with know me well enough to notice when I’m out of balance. They are able to see things that I can’t or don’t take the time to see. Accountability relationships, as I call them, can include a husband, best friend, mother, sister, etc. These are the people you share your inmost being with and are comfortable enough to be vulnerable with. They are also faithful and trustworthy and will always build you up. They are there for you, because sometimes all you need is a sounding board. Just talking through your feelings, frustrations, and fantasies (on what all you’d like to get done) if often helpful.
These relationships also help remind you that you are more than a mother. Although we often get overwhelmed with all of the roles we play in life, there is healthiness in being able to define who we are separate from being a mom. Especially when mothering takes up a majority of our time and we feel completely wrapped up in mommyhood. It may seem contrary to what many think, but maintaining your identity outside of being a mom actually helps you be a better mom. Remember the metaphor of the air conditioning unit? We talked about needing to do regular maintenance. An air conditioner doesn’t spend time being a refrigerator or washing machine, but it doesn’t run all the time. Even though it doesn’t provide another function, it does its job of heating or cooling and then it takes a break for a while. We’re not appliances (contrary to some popular jokes), we have more than one job and more than one relationship to maintain. If we look at these other relationships as avenues of support and outlets, they become tools to helping us maintain balance instead of just adding more things on our to do list.

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