Monday, August 24, 2009

Mom Musings

Posted by Tracy Wainwright at 9:00 PM
My recent reading of John Rosemond's "Parenting by the Book" has really helped me to take a step back and evaluate my parenting. Although I believe in and agree with most of what he says, do I practice it? I've even written my chapter for my book on parenting, which says some similar things. But am I following my own beliefs with behaviors?

Yes. And no. As with most things, parenting is a growth process. (I just have to hope my ability to parent grows at a faster rate than my kids!) There are a lot of things I do right, but there are also a lot of areas in which I can improve. One I am constantly working on is correcting and leading my children without emotion. I know that emotion gets in the way of effective parenting, but when I'm tired, hungry, stressed, etc. I parent emotionally.

Tonight one of my children did something that they'd gotten into trouble for numerous times. At first I started getting upset. But then I remembered that getting upset wouldn't change the behavior (it'd already happened) and it would diminish any consequences I doled out. I calmly gave the consequences (despite a very sad face) and remained perfectly calm. And oh, HOW GOOD IT FELT! Better for me. Better for the child in question. Better for the children observing. No guilt for blowing up. No stewing in icky juices. Just consequences and moving on. A good reminder, one more effective practice, and a little growth.

0 comments on "Mom Musings"

Monday, August 24, 2009

Mom Musings

My recent reading of John Rosemond's "Parenting by the Book" has really helped me to take a step back and evaluate my parenting. Although I believe in and agree with most of what he says, do I practice it? I've even written my chapter for my book on parenting, which says some similar things. But am I following my own beliefs with behaviors?

Yes. And no. As with most things, parenting is a growth process. (I just have to hope my ability to parent grows at a faster rate than my kids!) There are a lot of things I do right, but there are also a lot of areas in which I can improve. One I am constantly working on is correcting and leading my children without emotion. I know that emotion gets in the way of effective parenting, but when I'm tired, hungry, stressed, etc. I parent emotionally.

Tonight one of my children did something that they'd gotten into trouble for numerous times. At first I started getting upset. But then I remembered that getting upset wouldn't change the behavior (it'd already happened) and it would diminish any consequences I doled out. I calmly gave the consequences (despite a very sad face) and remained perfectly calm. And oh, HOW GOOD IT FELT! Better for me. Better for the child in question. Better for the children observing. No guilt for blowing up. No stewing in icky juices. Just consequences and moving on. A good reminder, one more effective practice, and a little growth.

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