Friday, April 16, 2010

Mommy Feelings

Posted by Tracy Wainwright at 1:14 PM
So, what do feelings have to do with being a mom? First, we are a person. A woman. A daughter. A sister. An aunt. A wife. A friend. Our feelings affect each of these relationships, and our emotional and spiritual well-being. When we follow our willy-nilly feelings, we often experience destruction, devestation, and heartache in our relationships. I know from personal experience how damaging this can be to one's daily functioning. If I'm making "heart-felt" decisions that are not in line with God's Word and plan for me, I will decrease my ability to be healthy and function to my utmost each day.

If that doesn't affect your ability to be a mom, I don't know what will.

Our children have been put in our care and it is scary the damage we can do to them. As a counselor and observer of human behavior, I've seen many a parent led astray by their feelings. I have also experienced it. With all that I know, I still make the parenting mistakes of letting my feelings lead my parenting decisions. I'll never forget the red-hot burning I felt the first time one of my children out-right defied me to my face.

Whenever I discipline out of anger, no matter what the discipline is, I have guilt afterwards. Even if all I do is yell, I am shamed. I am constantly telling my children to use their self-controlled voice, but what kind of example am I being when I lose control and yell at them?

If I were to decide that no, today I don't feel like being a mom, my children would be the ones to suffer. And I do feel that way sometimes. I will take time off cleaning, or laundry, or cooking, but the direct mothering, gracefully, I understand the importance of and never take a day off (even when I'm not with my children, my heart is connected to them.) These are the days I have to pull myself up by the bootstraps and just do it. Whether I feel like it or not. And without exception, I'm rewarded at the end of the day with hugs and kisses!

I am learning, step by step, to seek God's wisdom in how I parent. This includes guarding my heart from selfishness, laziness, and self-righteousness. These things will lead to destruction in my relationship with my children, and possibly even in their lives in the way they make decisions. I know as I get closer to the Ultimate Parent, I will become a better parent - and will get to enjoy more of the God-given feelings of a healthy relationship with my children. My feeling of love is always there (though stronger at times) - but I know that true love is not feeling it or saying it, but showing my children (and others) that I love them by what I do for them, sometimes even when I don't feel like it.

1 comments on "Mommy Feelings"

Suzanne on April 16, 2010 at 5:20 PM said...

Hi! Found you through the Mommy Blogs. This is what I love about the Internet, finding other moms like ourselves and encouraging each other!
Your story sounds like mine as far as discipline with the kids. I think it is normal to feel like not wanting to be a mom. But just as normal are the days when you do have to pick yourself up and "just do it."
As a Godly mom I think the key is daily prayer, community worship, sharing with close trusting women friends and making your marriage a top priority. It seems, like you said, when you do things "God's way" everything else falls into place. Take care! :)

Friday, April 16, 2010

Mommy Feelings

So, what do feelings have to do with being a mom? First, we are a person. A woman. A daughter. A sister. An aunt. A wife. A friend. Our feelings affect each of these relationships, and our emotional and spiritual well-being. When we follow our willy-nilly feelings, we often experience destruction, devestation, and heartache in our relationships. I know from personal experience how damaging this can be to one's daily functioning. If I'm making "heart-felt" decisions that are not in line with God's Word and plan for me, I will decrease my ability to be healthy and function to my utmost each day.

If that doesn't affect your ability to be a mom, I don't know what will.

Our children have been put in our care and it is scary the damage we can do to them. As a counselor and observer of human behavior, I've seen many a parent led astray by their feelings. I have also experienced it. With all that I know, I still make the parenting mistakes of letting my feelings lead my parenting decisions. I'll never forget the red-hot burning I felt the first time one of my children out-right defied me to my face.

Whenever I discipline out of anger, no matter what the discipline is, I have guilt afterwards. Even if all I do is yell, I am shamed. I am constantly telling my children to use their self-controlled voice, but what kind of example am I being when I lose control and yell at them?

If I were to decide that no, today I don't feel like being a mom, my children would be the ones to suffer. And I do feel that way sometimes. I will take time off cleaning, or laundry, or cooking, but the direct mothering, gracefully, I understand the importance of and never take a day off (even when I'm not with my children, my heart is connected to them.) These are the days I have to pull myself up by the bootstraps and just do it. Whether I feel like it or not. And without exception, I'm rewarded at the end of the day with hugs and kisses!

I am learning, step by step, to seek God's wisdom in how I parent. This includes guarding my heart from selfishness, laziness, and self-righteousness. These things will lead to destruction in my relationship with my children, and possibly even in their lives in the way they make decisions. I know as I get closer to the Ultimate Parent, I will become a better parent - and will get to enjoy more of the God-given feelings of a healthy relationship with my children. My feeling of love is always there (though stronger at times) - but I know that true love is not feeling it or saying it, but showing my children (and others) that I love them by what I do for them, sometimes even when I don't feel like it.

1 comments:

Suzanne said...

Hi! Found you through the Mommy Blogs. This is what I love about the Internet, finding other moms like ourselves and encouraging each other!
Your story sounds like mine as far as discipline with the kids. I think it is normal to feel like not wanting to be a mom. But just as normal are the days when you do have to pick yourself up and "just do it."
As a Godly mom I think the key is daily prayer, community worship, sharing with close trusting women friends and making your marriage a top priority. It seems, like you said, when you do things "God's way" everything else falls into place. Take care! :)

 

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