Monday, August 8, 2011

Fear of Letting Go

Posted by Tracy Wainwright at 8:15 AM
I began my open journey of dicarding (after digging up and divulging) my fears in my last post. I continue that journey here with the admission that while my heart's desire is to radically abandon myself completely to God and His perfect plan for my life, the flesh in me clings tight. Like someone clinging to the side of a cliff not knowing the ledge is less than ten feet away, I cling to the idea that I have to work at things.

God recently dig a great work in me and gave me the freedom of knowing I don't have to work at everything - approval, acceptance, accolades.

Yet I still hold back. I don't want to completely let go. I know this because I do things like make my to do list without first praying about it. I pray for others, ask God to take control of my heart, but I don't go to Him with the details of my life. Why is that?

If I'm going to be completely open and honest, it's because I'm afraid of what I'll have to let go if I submit every detail of my life. What I eat. What I wear. What I write. What I watch on TV. What I listen to on the radio. How I spend every moment of every day. How I acknowledge Him with every breath I take.

Truly, I think this is a common fear - of both believers and unbelievers. We are afraid of what God will ask us to give up if we submit to Him. The things we like and enjoy. What we forget is that every second, every breath is a gift from Him and He willingly fills us up with more than we could ever imagine. If I give up certain things that bring me enjoyment, will He give what will bring me more joy? Of course He will, it just doesn't always look like what we would like it to look like.

So, I talk to myself, pause to pray one more time, and ask God to empty me of me and slowly pry each finger off the ledge, knowing He's waiting to catch me in His everlasting arms of love.

1 comments on "Fear of Letting Go"

beBOLDjen on August 8, 2011 at 12:58 PM said...

I struggle with the same fears. This pride and self reliance is so ingrained in our flesh.... and SO wicked! I realize it comes from a very small view of God. Thanks for the reminder to keep pressing forward in faith and reliance upon Him.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Fear of Letting Go

I began my open journey of dicarding (after digging up and divulging) my fears in my last post. I continue that journey here with the admission that while my heart's desire is to radically abandon myself completely to God and His perfect plan for my life, the flesh in me clings tight. Like someone clinging to the side of a cliff not knowing the ledge is less than ten feet away, I cling to the idea that I have to work at things.

God recently dig a great work in me and gave me the freedom of knowing I don't have to work at everything - approval, acceptance, accolades.

Yet I still hold back. I don't want to completely let go. I know this because I do things like make my to do list without first praying about it. I pray for others, ask God to take control of my heart, but I don't go to Him with the details of my life. Why is that?

If I'm going to be completely open and honest, it's because I'm afraid of what I'll have to let go if I submit every detail of my life. What I eat. What I wear. What I write. What I watch on TV. What I listen to on the radio. How I spend every moment of every day. How I acknowledge Him with every breath I take.

Truly, I think this is a common fear - of both believers and unbelievers. We are afraid of what God will ask us to give up if we submit to Him. The things we like and enjoy. What we forget is that every second, every breath is a gift from Him and He willingly fills us up with more than we could ever imagine. If I give up certain things that bring me enjoyment, will He give what will bring me more joy? Of course He will, it just doesn't always look like what we would like it to look like.

So, I talk to myself, pause to pray one more time, and ask God to empty me of me and slowly pry each finger off the ledge, knowing He's waiting to catch me in His everlasting arms of love.

1 comments:

beBOLDjen said...

I struggle with the same fears. This pride and self reliance is so ingrained in our flesh.... and SO wicked! I realize it comes from a very small view of God. Thanks for the reminder to keep pressing forward in faith and reliance upon Him.

 

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