Sunday, July 12, 2009

Consequences

Posted by Tracy Wainwright at 4:24 PM
Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse-The blessing if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you this day; And the curse if you will not obey the commandments of the Lord your God, but turn aside from the way which I command you this day to go after other gods, which you have not known. Deuteronomy 11:26-28

As I read these words I am reminded what great parenting wisdom is in the Bible. These words are the basic tenents of consequences. We set rules and expect our children to follow and obey them. If we are doing our job as parents (which is often harder in action than it is in principle) we will hold our children accountable for whether they choose to obey our rules or not. And as much as we beg and plead and repeat ourselves, our job is not complete and done well unless there are consequences to their behavior. We basically set a curse (negative consequences) and a blessing (positive consequences) before them. It's their choice which they want.

When we understand that negative consequences are something that our children choose, it decreases the guilt we feel when we have to withhold or take away something. No parent likes enforcing negative consequences, it's unpleasant. However, it's almost always the only way a child will learn to make good choices. Otherwise they'll grow up with the immature belief that they can do whatever they want and not pay for bad choices; and be shocked one day when they do face severe negative consequences and a string of ruined relationships.

No, we need to focus on the end goal, which is a fruitful and peaceful life, which comes from heading effective, loving discipline. (No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11) And remember that we set rules and boundaries for our children's safety, and if they choose to break rules and disobey (even in small things) they are choosing the negative consequence.

0 comments on "Consequences"

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Consequences

Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse-The blessing if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you this day; And the curse if you will not obey the commandments of the Lord your God, but turn aside from the way which I command you this day to go after other gods, which you have not known. Deuteronomy 11:26-28

As I read these words I am reminded what great parenting wisdom is in the Bible. These words are the basic tenents of consequences. We set rules and expect our children to follow and obey them. If we are doing our job as parents (which is often harder in action than it is in principle) we will hold our children accountable for whether they choose to obey our rules or not. And as much as we beg and plead and repeat ourselves, our job is not complete and done well unless there are consequences to their behavior. We basically set a curse (negative consequences) and a blessing (positive consequences) before them. It's their choice which they want.

When we understand that negative consequences are something that our children choose, it decreases the guilt we feel when we have to withhold or take away something. No parent likes enforcing negative consequences, it's unpleasant. However, it's almost always the only way a child will learn to make good choices. Otherwise they'll grow up with the immature belief that they can do whatever they want and not pay for bad choices; and be shocked one day when they do face severe negative consequences and a string of ruined relationships.

No, we need to focus on the end goal, which is a fruitful and peaceful life, which comes from heading effective, loving discipline. (No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11) And remember that we set rules and boundaries for our children's safety, and if they choose to break rules and disobey (even in small things) they are choosing the negative consequence.

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