Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The Bourne Mommy

Posted by Tracy Wainwright at 5:04 AM
I don't know if you've ever seen the Bourne movies (Bourne Identity, Supremecy, and Ultimatum), but I recently watched them for the second time. You may be thinking, "I can't believe she watched that", but I'll admit I may just watch them again (before I return them to their owner - they really are coming home Melissa.) Besides being a huge Matt Daman fan, there's just something about these movies that draw me in. Part of it is the incredible, unlikely feats that the hero (I guess he can be called that) accomplishes. This time around I started thinking of this character in comparison to Mommies. And I realized that we often expect ourselves to function similarly.
First - we are expected to keep on going, no matter what. No matter if we've been shot and fallen into the sea, if we've been in three car crashes in as many days, if we've just lost the love of our life. We don't literally face these challenges, but moms definately face some real challenges that affect us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. No matter what we have going on, we are expected (usually by ourselves more than anyone else) to just keep going.
There's also the phenomenon of holding everything together emotionally despite our world's falling apart. This is a result of the "have it all" myth that has come out of the women's lib movement. We're not supposed to let it show that we are stressed and maybe need someone to lean on and let us cry for a little bit. Not necessarily over anything big, but just because it all adds up.
We're also supposed to be able to evaluate and react immediately to situations. We expect ourselves to be able to handle any situation at a moments notice and without flaw. We have all of the information to deal with whatever comes up and have the sense of mind to use that information instinctively.
Although good movies, they are highly unrealistic, as are our expectations of ourselves sometimes. So take a break, watch a movie, and cut yourself a little slack.

2 comments on "The Bourne Mommy"

Leigh Anne Langston said...

I tasted a dose of reality on Monday when my 5 yr old was taking swim lessons. He said I want a yellow band. So he did what he needed to to get it which was swim the width of the pool without touching the bottom. He did it and the next thing out of his mouth was "I don't need you anymore Mommy I can go down the slide all by myself". Ouch! That hurt. Where did that come from. I guess I should have been more prepared to hear those words considering the goal. I am greatful he sets goals and set out to accomplish them but wait a minute Jack what do you mean you don't need me anymore. If you want to go to the pool, you will need me to get there at least for the next 10 years. Ha, gotcha.

Gayle on August 6, 2008 at 12:32 PM said...

I totally agree. I at the end of the day, when I only slept for 6 hours came in to work at 6 went to class got off work at 5 only to take the kids swimming, expect myself to not be exhausted to have the energy to do my homework, thankfully only mine till school starts!, and clean the kitchen, and do laundry. Finally got wise and I haven't cleaned the kitchen since Jonathan came home from VA. Has loaded, and unloaded the dishwasher and washed leftover dishes. It has been great. It's a relief to know that I don't have to come home to a dirty kitchen. I can come home and acutally enjoy being there and being with my kids, maybe even squeeze in a pillow fight.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The Bourne Mommy

I don't know if you've ever seen the Bourne movies (Bourne Identity, Supremecy, and Ultimatum), but I recently watched them for the second time. You may be thinking, "I can't believe she watched that", but I'll admit I may just watch them again (before I return them to their owner - they really are coming home Melissa.) Besides being a huge Matt Daman fan, there's just something about these movies that draw me in. Part of it is the incredible, unlikely feats that the hero (I guess he can be called that) accomplishes. This time around I started thinking of this character in comparison to Mommies. And I realized that we often expect ourselves to function similarly.
First - we are expected to keep on going, no matter what. No matter if we've been shot and fallen into the sea, if we've been in three car crashes in as many days, if we've just lost the love of our life. We don't literally face these challenges, but moms definately face some real challenges that affect us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. No matter what we have going on, we are expected (usually by ourselves more than anyone else) to just keep going.
There's also the phenomenon of holding everything together emotionally despite our world's falling apart. This is a result of the "have it all" myth that has come out of the women's lib movement. We're not supposed to let it show that we are stressed and maybe need someone to lean on and let us cry for a little bit. Not necessarily over anything big, but just because it all adds up.
We're also supposed to be able to evaluate and react immediately to situations. We expect ourselves to be able to handle any situation at a moments notice and without flaw. We have all of the information to deal with whatever comes up and have the sense of mind to use that information instinctively.
Although good movies, they are highly unrealistic, as are our expectations of ourselves sometimes. So take a break, watch a movie, and cut yourself a little slack.

2 comments:

Leigh Anne Langston said...

I tasted a dose of reality on Monday when my 5 yr old was taking swim lessons. He said I want a yellow band. So he did what he needed to to get it which was swim the width of the pool without touching the bottom. He did it and the next thing out of his mouth was "I don't need you anymore Mommy I can go down the slide all by myself". Ouch! That hurt. Where did that come from. I guess I should have been more prepared to hear those words considering the goal. I am greatful he sets goals and set out to accomplish them but wait a minute Jack what do you mean you don't need me anymore. If you want to go to the pool, you will need me to get there at least for the next 10 years. Ha, gotcha.

Gayle said...

I totally agree. I at the end of the day, when I only slept for 6 hours came in to work at 6 went to class got off work at 5 only to take the kids swimming, expect myself to not be exhausted to have the energy to do my homework, thankfully only mine till school starts!, and clean the kitchen, and do laundry. Finally got wise and I haven't cleaned the kitchen since Jonathan came home from VA. Has loaded, and unloaded the dishwasher and washed leftover dishes. It has been great. It's a relief to know that I don't have to come home to a dirty kitchen. I can come home and acutally enjoy being there and being with my kids, maybe even squeeze in a pillow fight.

 

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