Wednesday, July 2, 2008

What Forgiveness is not

Posted by Tracy Wainwright at 9:14 PM
When choosing to forgive it is important to know what forgivenes is not. This helps to eliminate fear that we often have when we think about forgiving. According to Kim Gaines Eckert in STRONGER THAN YOU THINK, forgiveness "does not mean:
- we forget what happened to us
- we excuse the people who hurt us and say that..their actions are okay
- (we have to reconcile)
- we pretent the hurts never happened
- we ignore our wounds
- we allow others to hurt us repeatedly"

When we think about forgiveness we often have a picture of weakness, an individual who gets run over and abused constantly. But true forgiveness does not mean being weak. True forgiveness gives us the power to take care of ourselves in a healthy way and takes the power away from the person or event that has caused us pain. It is a sign of strength to be able to choose to forgive, choose to be healthy, and choose to take care of ourselves by healing from past hurts and to stop the cycle of pain that comes with being a victim. We no longer carry the pain. We scrape out the infection (bitterness, fear, anger) that had grown in the wound (the original offense/event) and care for it properly as it heals.

0 comments on "What Forgiveness is not"

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

What Forgiveness is not

When choosing to forgive it is important to know what forgivenes is not. This helps to eliminate fear that we often have when we think about forgiving. According to Kim Gaines Eckert in STRONGER THAN YOU THINK, forgiveness "does not mean:
- we forget what happened to us
- we excuse the people who hurt us and say that..their actions are okay
- (we have to reconcile)
- we pretent the hurts never happened
- we ignore our wounds
- we allow others to hurt us repeatedly"

When we think about forgiveness we often have a picture of weakness, an individual who gets run over and abused constantly. But true forgiveness does not mean being weak. True forgiveness gives us the power to take care of ourselves in a healthy way and takes the power away from the person or event that has caused us pain. It is a sign of strength to be able to choose to forgive, choose to be healthy, and choose to take care of ourselves by healing from past hurts and to stop the cycle of pain that comes with being a victim. We no longer carry the pain. We scrape out the infection (bitterness, fear, anger) that had grown in the wound (the original offense/event) and care for it properly as it heals.

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