Friday, April 18, 2008

Modeling

Posted by Tracy Wainwright at 5:14 AM
Modeling appropriate behavior shows a child how to do something. When mom gets caught in traffic and decides to use the time to converse with her child or sing some new songs, she teaches her child to be patient in circumstances out of their control. When mom gets hurt and verbalizes her pain without using obscene language, she teaches her child to express him/herself in difficult situations using appropriate words. When someone is rude or mean to mom and she responds with kindness, she teaches her child that we are to treat others as we wish to be treated, not as they treat us. When mom parent goes about her chores cheerfully, or at least not grumpily, she teaches her child that she can choose to be in a good mood even when she’s doing something she doesn’t like to do. When mom talks to dad with respectful tones and words, she teaches her child to respect both of her parents. When mom keeps a commitment even though she’d rather be doing something else, she teaches her child responsibility.
There are countless opportunities mothers have to model appropriate behavior for their children. However, teaching begins with modeling, it does not end with it. Once upon a time good parents who were good people tended to end up with good children. As a counselor I have often seen this not to be the case. When examining this phenomenon I wondered what was missing. These parents modeled good decision making. They were responsible and hard working and kind. But often their children were disrespectful, didn’t value hard work, and were rude. The problem was one or more of the other aspects of teaching character traits were missing from the parenting equation.

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Friday, April 18, 2008

Modeling

Modeling appropriate behavior shows a child how to do something. When mom gets caught in traffic and decides to use the time to converse with her child or sing some new songs, she teaches her child to be patient in circumstances out of their control. When mom gets hurt and verbalizes her pain without using obscene language, she teaches her child to express him/herself in difficult situations using appropriate words. When someone is rude or mean to mom and she responds with kindness, she teaches her child that we are to treat others as we wish to be treated, not as they treat us. When mom parent goes about her chores cheerfully, or at least not grumpily, she teaches her child that she can choose to be in a good mood even when she’s doing something she doesn’t like to do. When mom talks to dad with respectful tones and words, she teaches her child to respect both of her parents. When mom keeps a commitment even though she’d rather be doing something else, she teaches her child responsibility.
There are countless opportunities mothers have to model appropriate behavior for their children. However, teaching begins with modeling, it does not end with it. Once upon a time good parents who were good people tended to end up with good children. As a counselor I have often seen this not to be the case. When examining this phenomenon I wondered what was missing. These parents modeled good decision making. They were responsible and hard working and kind. But often their children were disrespectful, didn’t value hard work, and were rude. The problem was one or more of the other aspects of teaching character traits were missing from the parenting equation.

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