Monday, January 28, 2008

The Big Questions

Posted by Tracy Wainwright at 8:10 PM
What is my main job as a mom? How do make the best choices as a mom? How do I know if I’m doing a good job as a mom? How do I know when I’m successful as a mom? How do I keep from losing myself and my sanity as a mom?
These questions are ones that most mothers ponder, if not obsess over. There are other questions that we ask ourselves, the questions I call decision questions. Those are questions like: Do I work or stay home, or work at home? Do I breastfeed or formula feed? Where will my child sleep, with me or in her own room? Should I send my child to public school, private school, or homeschool? These are the questions that we often see asked, and supposedly answered, in most parenting magazines. These questions will be addressed, because they’re big aspects of motherhood, but my belief is that we can answer every one of these decision questions to our family’s satisfaction and for their best interest and still be a discontent mom.
Although many of us moms get our sense of purpose and affirmation from answering these questions the best way possible, and various resources try to tell us that our worth as a mother can come from making the right decisions on these issues, I don’t believe that is true. Sure, we get some sense of satisfaction from seeing our children healthy and developing on target, but if we don’t answer the big questions from the first paragraph, we will most likely end up feeling discontent and wondering what it is that can fulfill us.
I believe that there’s a whole generation of moms who just kind automatically went through motherhood and when their children were all grown up and they no longer had the responsibility as a mother, they felt as if they were floundering. This generation of moms lost themselves in their children and the job of mothering. I’m not saying that devoting ourselves to our children isn’t important, or even essential to raising them well. What I am saying is that as mothers we don’t have to lose ourselves in the journey of motherhood.

0 comments on "The Big Questions"

Monday, January 28, 2008

The Big Questions

What is my main job as a mom? How do make the best choices as a mom? How do I know if I’m doing a good job as a mom? How do I know when I’m successful as a mom? How do I keep from losing myself and my sanity as a mom?
These questions are ones that most mothers ponder, if not obsess over. There are other questions that we ask ourselves, the questions I call decision questions. Those are questions like: Do I work or stay home, or work at home? Do I breastfeed or formula feed? Where will my child sleep, with me or in her own room? Should I send my child to public school, private school, or homeschool? These are the questions that we often see asked, and supposedly answered, in most parenting magazines. These questions will be addressed, because they’re big aspects of motherhood, but my belief is that we can answer every one of these decision questions to our family’s satisfaction and for their best interest and still be a discontent mom.
Although many of us moms get our sense of purpose and affirmation from answering these questions the best way possible, and various resources try to tell us that our worth as a mother can come from making the right decisions on these issues, I don’t believe that is true. Sure, we get some sense of satisfaction from seeing our children healthy and developing on target, but if we don’t answer the big questions from the first paragraph, we will most likely end up feeling discontent and wondering what it is that can fulfill us.
I believe that there’s a whole generation of moms who just kind automatically went through motherhood and when their children were all grown up and they no longer had the responsibility as a mother, they felt as if they were floundering. This generation of moms lost themselves in their children and the job of mothering. I’m not saying that devoting ourselves to our children isn’t important, or even essential to raising them well. What I am saying is that as mothers we don’t have to lose ourselves in the journey of motherhood.

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